The Weekend 5 (Sunday, August 29th 2021)

 Long week sorry this last one for the month is late. How is this the last one for the month? I was just talking to someone at work about it...how is it already almost September? This year is truly flying by. Its crazy year for sure not like last year but in so many ways much worse then last year and some ways the same...3 months to go...

1. Work is busy. Busy busy busy. I worked only 4 days. After church last week I came home and called out. I had gotten a BAD pain so bad in my neck and shoulders unsure if it was a pinched nerve or what but the pain was so bad it wouldn't go away after resting too. So I gave up and called out. I spent the day sleeping and resting it best I could. Lots of ice some heat. Monday it was still bad but not as bad. It was better by Tuesday by the grace of God I was okay. What was that? The joys of two injuries no idea which one was acting up :( so yeah worked 4 days. Thank you God they fixed my schedule. So next week starts today (Sunday) they got me back to full shifts and next week not this one due to my injection tomorrow (Monday) I work 40 hours. It only last a week as the following is the week I asked for two days off. So yeah work is busy. 

2. GYM did it twice again. I love twice or more! We did it on Monday per usual and then again on Friday after work cause my sister got her shift switched. They began to give her nights on Fridays & Saturdays therefore taking away our other gym day. Ugh. I did a walk just on Thursday but it was a nice one indeed.

3. Church was beautiful. Hugs and love. I'm talking more to two or three other people so getting hugs from them too. I love our church. The more I talk to the more I love. I still stick to really only talking to a few people but I do talk to them. And love hugs and love from them most of all. Yes church!

4. Tuesday and Thursday were my days off. Tuesday we went down and had fun. We went and met with my cousin and her son in Huntington Beach. We haven't been there to that beach since like 2006! Her son is a hoot. Love him. Cousin love. He will be 3 in October awe :) So beach there and then food after and back home. Fun day. Thursday I didnt plan much but we ended up going to the peacock neighborhood mostly. And unlike last week we saw the oldest of the babies there. She as we are pretty sure its a girl was out with mama we got lots of laughs and fun and pictures. Fun day. :)

5. Last week was stressful. I was dealing with the same issue for 4 days of it. Began my lunch on Monday at work. The lady who set up my mental health appointment last week tells me that my insurance doesn't cover behavioral health which makes no sense since I set it up with them after getting a list from my insurance. I got no where in with calls with my insurance and ended the day confused. I called a lot on Tuesday before our trip. On Wednesday too and Thursday. Even though they say a the call center I am fine I have to wait till the 2nd this week to get answers :( Ugh!! Wednesday I went back to the chiropractor of my friends. She's a nice lady. But I cant afford to come as much as she wants. Shall see I will try to find $$ to come back I will. I will!

Have a great week. See you next month. God bless you :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, August 22nd 2021)

Welcome again here we are. Heading towards the end of the month. School beginning. Starting to see Fall and Halloween stuff coming out...yikes

1. Work busy sure yes. Sunday was insane day before back to school and crazy. Was so glad to be off work. Like near holiday busy on one day Yikes!! Did my first 40 hour week in a long long time. I wish I could say it will continue but its rare and gone again now. :(

2. Tuesday my good friend from church took me to her chiropractor I got adjusted for real for the first time ever. My neck is feeling okay but still hurts. I am going to go back next week for a follow up visit. My friend is so nice to do this. And I have to believe God is going to use this lady to help me get to my full healing. Also my injection is just a week away and work thankfully gave it to me off.  After that was done I went to my last shoulder therapy :( I have to fight for more again. Not happy about that.

3. Church was wonderful. Lots of love and hugs and such. I had a wonderful time. On Friday I was blessed to get to go to a church event I always miss them due to work. Well work let me off at 6 off I flew. We painted rocks and it was so fun. Hugs love and rocks. I am so thankful God allowed me to go to this. I love my church I love my sisters in Christ so much.

4. GYM did it twice on Monday and then on Friday after the rock painting. I love the gym. I also did walks twice Tuesday and again on Thursday. I love my walks. :)

5. October 5th I will be getting tested for my mental health. I have 6 weeks left to go. It will be a long time. My mental health is worse and worse every day. Idk why. I have emotional days 2 or 3 plus a week. I have depression days at least once a week. Neither of these were that bad not too long ago. I dont know why its getting worse its truly out of control. And its breaking me in so many ways. God please heal me help me get to that day help me to stay steady on you.

See you all next weekend last one this month. Wow! God bless you :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, August 15th 2021)

 Mid way through this month. Two more Sundays after this one. This coming week will be a little extra fun and stuff. How was your week?

1. Work is busy. Yes busy. But its work and its what I do till I find something else to do. God willing by end of this year. I have to take a break from looking well I had taken a break and then I gave myself permission to very sure take a break. Ugh. This was my first week of working 5 days in a long long time. And I got almost 40hrs wish I could have had that last 3 to make it. Last week killed me this next check I will struggle one more time yuck. 

2. Gym twice did it on Monday and then on Friday. Not bad really. I managed not one not two but THREE walks this week. One on Tuesday morning, one on Wednesday morning (it was SO HOT major regret lol) and Thursday evening. Yup. Love my walks. Yes I do. 

3. Did therapy on Tuesday and then we saw peacock babies called "peachicks" a total of 4 it was so cool. The one from last week is getting bigger, a smaller one and our first ever set of two from one nest. There could be more hiding. Maybe will see next week when we come back for our once a week thingy. On Thursday I had my last neck therapy and my first shoulder therapy in a month. Sadly I am unsure how much more I get but I will fight for more cause this past month of NO therapy has been a nightmare. My shoulder complains every single day as does my neck. Ugh.

4. Church was really beautiful this past week. I loved it so much. Mainly cause my very good friend took out of her time to really talk to me about my anxiety and really just pep talk me and just make me feel better about what I am doing. It wont be easy I feel like I am gonna have to fight. But if I want to get better I gotta keep going.

5. Speaking of which. My appointment on phone was kinda harsh. I cant get my referral yet I have to wait for them to call me. However for once answering their questions really hit me how bad I am and how long I have been avoiding it. Sure I dont do drugs, alcohol, cut myself or actually try to kill myself. But I know I have depression and anxiety. I am questioning more than anything what else I have and where its coming from. So prayers for them to call me asap this coming week or I have to check back on Friday :( they didnt charge me for the appointment and for this one maybe I should have just done it in person...sigh.

Well thats all for now. Have a good week. Stay cool been so stinking hot lately ugh. God bless you :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, July 8th 2021)

Welcome to the second one of these for August. Yikes times flying. This week again nothing too special. This will be my first *gulp* back to 5 days of work in 1 week in weeks!! Been living on 4 days a week (my choice) the past 3 weeks before this. Yuck. But moving on...

1. Work is busy and such. We now back to suggesting people wear masks although that could change to having to wear mask. They ordered more mask and popped us into our black shirts as health ambassadors again. Just say there wont be counting. I hate telling people to wear mask but its worse counting. My poor neck. Anyways so I am okay with doing that just greeting people and offering a mask is easier then receipts. I like change I am almost ALWAYS checking receipts. Its so tiring my poor eyes lol. No one else wants to do it so it seems whenever I am there that is where I am at....moving on. I only worked 4 days this past week. I got Friday off because I thought my parents were gonna do an overnight thing for their anniversary on Thursday. But due to my dads pains they did canceled so I used it for therapy instead and enjoyed one more day of freedom. Lighten my load a bit for my 4 in a row turned into a 3 yup

2. Gym did it ONCE what the heck. Yeah haven't only done it once in beyond forever we been doing it at least twice a week. But things like work and such kinda took that. So that is what we did. I did manage a walk three times this week Tuesday, Thursday & Friday. Both Tuesday & Thursday were in the morning while Friday the evening. I love my walks with Jesus. But I do sometimes miss when my walks were with my baby Rainbow :( 

3. Church was beautiful on Sunday. Lots of hugs and love. And laughing as my pastor used me as an example as someone with anxiety. No he didnt say my name but those who knows my *story* and such surely knew it was me. He confirmed it after thanks a lot lol. I love him so its okay. I had social anxiety when I first began church here I spent over a year not talking to anyone and even after I met with my pastor and his wife for lunch I didnt talk to many till after the second meal 6 months later. So thats about 1.5 years of me not talking with much of anyone at church. I still have social anxiety and if you see me at church I dont talk to everyone I dont know everyone. I am willing to meet new people but I dont just go out and meet them. I am still horrible at making friends and keeping friends. So the ones God has graced me with are a huge blessing in the fact they are sticking by me even when I am a bit off sometimes. Love you church and all! I miss my mid week bible studies but hopefully fall ones begin again soon :) 

4. I did neck therapy twice this week. I have just two more times left. Yup. I do get back to shoulder therapy next week PTL I have not done it in a month and its been so bad some days that I realize I will probably be in shoulder therapy a lot longer then I thought. Yikes. Ugh. I also got approved shocking for another injections for my neck. I am unsure the date on that will work that out when they call me back or I check back next week. I also managed to take my new hobby and a kinda therapy of another time to my friends house. I love her so much. I paint rocks for her neighborhood and I wanted to give these to her last week. We took a chance on Tuesday she would be home as she said she might not be cause we came a bit later. And she was. Hugs love and gave her the rocks I had worked so hard on. I some days feel like I have no purpose in this world but to encourage people and these rocks with my creative gift from God for art really do make me feel like theres a reason I am on this earth. 

5. My mental health has always be a forerunner for me. Its there when I dont want it to be and always. In the past two years I can only guess why my mental health has become out of control. I can only guess what is wrong with me. But grief in losing Rainbow almost 2 years ago, followed by covid19 last year and all that went with it and then my 2 injuries. I think its all a big mush pile of problems. Its come crashing down on me with my relationships at church especially with my friend I just talked about 3 times with her. I get emotional constantly I cant control my emotions, I am crying now every single day sometimes good sometimes bad, I have bad thoughts, I have self doubt and for sure self hate, overwhelmed by absolutely everything, anxiety, depression, OCD and ADD, and so much more. So I am with the encouragement of my friends love and support and prayers seeking professional help. This coming week on Friday on the phone I will be talking to a doctor to get a referral to see a psychologist. I want to find out whats wrong with me because I am sure its way more than just depression and anxiety. I have my thoughts on this and I know we arent supposed to self diagnose especially on something else bad enough I did it for ADD which isn't as serious but yes I know I have it without being told so. So I will update you all when I have my date for my actual appointment. God willing it will be soon and this month. I get to fit that around everything else. If you pray I ask you do because I am scared to death to do this and I am not even telling my family yet what is going on just some close friends. 

God bless you all. Have a good week. Stay cool. :)