The Weekend 5 (Sunday, May 29th 2022)

Welcome. My week was super slow! Yup! Oh well I did it and that is all that matters...

1. Church beautiful on Sunday. I love my church so much!! Cant wait till our Pastor is back. And our book club starts in a few weeks. Even if it only 5 weeks I cant wait for 5 weeks of fellowship fun and a thing to do besides what I always do. Yes I love it so much. I love hugs and funny things and silly people. I love how much God pushes me and how in the middle I find love, acceptance and prayer. I am blessed beyond measure simply because I am with people God wanted me with. And I am so glad I can go to church each week my home. Its hard to believe we are heading to this weekend being 2 years since we were allowed to meet again. Wow time flies. I am so glad we are past the days of meeting online. It was a horrible 2.5 months for me :( 

2. Work busy this week but slower. They are cutting my hours. More each week :( Plus found out my manager is leaving in 3 weeks! What! I kinda am sad. I will miss her. She's nuts but still the longest I have had a manager was her. And our new store manager is um :/ I miss our old manager. I get all uncomfortable again and wonder again why am I not trying hard to leave. Didnt I just you know say I would leave. God wants me to try and I am the one choosing to suffer day after day there while they abuse us. We all laugh who work there but is it really funny? Yeah I dont think so... So yeah only 37 hours this week. Next week and following are worse. I am getting so little its almost how it would be if I dropped to 4 days a week at 8hrs a day which is 32. In two weeks I have 34 hours :(

3. Workouts this week not really. We really need to get back to the gym. Every week we get so close and then decide not to at the last moment. Ugh. Why. So yeah about that. But I have done lots of walks this week. My usual 2 on Tuesday & Thursday. Plus ones on Wednesday & Friday. I almost did one Saturday but decided not to. They are good for my health and my mental health. I should walk longer then I do. But for now I love my little walks. I'll do them in any weather but rain LOL.

4. Tuesday we went to see the Peacocks again. Yes we did! First I dyed my hair I only do it every 8 weeks so this was the day. After we saw some fun times there. I love going. I really do love going thats no joke. It gives me excitement. :) Hope to go back again next week shall see

5. This week no therapy but next week yup. I am working on me. Its the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. And I've gone to college got a degree, had one surgery, several injuries, and deal with a crap load of daily pain. Yet the scariest thing for me to work on is ME! I am scared at times what I will find out. My childhood was full of trauma. And I'm pretty sure I hid some memories somewhere because I cant recall all the things my sister can. She reminds me of stuff and then I say I dont recall that and now knowing how fragile I am she says maybe she wont remind me of it. I know no parent is perfect but I was put through a lot of crap and it turned me into who I am now. I haven't blamed God I never want to. I know God was there with me in every moment and allowed it happen. On Wednesday night I had a cry prayer session I dont do these often. But its always me praying and crying same time so hard I cant see. I dont know what I am saying it just comes out. I lay myself bare on the feet of my God knowing He can and does care about me. And knowing it will be okay. I just feel so broken. I feel so messed up. I feel like acknowledging all this isn't making me happy at all. Yet I know I am healing. I have plenty of signs I am healing and with that. By the grace of God I am better each day. I just cant give up I want to so much but I cant I have to keep going. I have to keep trying. I have to figure things out. Keep finding stuff I'm proud of, let people compliment me and let it sink in not bounce of me, learn to love myself and heck learn to forgive myself. God has got this in control 1000%

Well there you go. Have a good week everyone. A blessed one. God bless you all. See you next week. Good bye May hello June! Happy Memorial Day weekend too :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, May 22nd 2022)

Welcome on time this time. I had a busy busy week yikes a bee! How was yours?

1. Church was beautiful. I love my church time it was so fun. Hugs and love and such. Fun times. I already miss our small groups. But the thing is Summer is coming in a few weeks we will be reading a book and having fun a different kind. Yahoo!

2. Work is busy busy. Yes it is. But I only worked 4 of my days this week as I called out for a baby shower I should have gotten off. Oh well. I need a new job. They are now forcing us to have cut hours it begins this week and worse each week. This week I'm at 37. Next week its 35 the following 34. If I work 32 I well as mind work 4 days a week and get rid of my very stressful Wednesday :( NEED A NEW JOB!

3. Gym nope again. Maybe next time. I went on walks on Tuesday & Wednesday but that it. I planned a walk Thursday & Saturday didnt happen. Oh well. 

4. I had therapy on Tuesday which was very interesting. I talk to her again in 2 weeks. Then I talked to my psychiatrist on Thursday. I dont talk to her for two months. My medicine is the same. So yeah busy week for both of those in one week. 

5. Tuesday me and my mom returned to the peacock place. Fun times. Yes it was. Thursday I had zero plans to leave the house but decided to go hang out with two of my friends from my group study. We went to dinner at Hello Bettys. And then had dessert at the pie shop from the top gun house. Fun night. Glad I went but boy was it cold there. Brrr. Saturday I called out for a baby shower. My first shower since last December I've missed two before this. It was a lot of fun. Different kind of fun but fun none the less. I'm glad I went. :) 

Well that was my busy week. This week is nothing at all but oh well. Have a good one. See you next weekend. God bless you :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday May 8th & Sunday May 15th 2022)

Two in one again. It just seemed easier then doing one. Thing is I should have been able last week to do this on time for just that week. BUT I got busy and lazy and stuff so here we are...two weeks worth in 1

1. Church is beautiful as always. I love my church. I love the people. I always miss when some not there. I miss them a lot :( so I am glad so many there both weeks. The 8th was Mothers Day simply wonderful I didnt work later. Church beautiful then after we did Rubys at the CB outlet. So good! Then spent rest of day chilling at home not doing much at all. My group met on the 5th but only 2 others came and me. And we met our LAST TIME on the 12th so sad :( Now we say good bye till Fall. We have Summer group coming up but not the same thing. I never thought I'd love all these ladies now I know I do very sure. 

2. The 1st & 2nd marked 12 years since the Nashville Flood. I will never forget that weekend. It came up the week before we visited California for a week. Yikes. So much damage so much changed I love my state. I still love my TN

3. Workouts we didnt do the gym at all for the past two weeks :( yikes! I did walks last week Tuesday & Thursday. But this week ONLY on Thursday. Oh well. All good. Hope we get back to the gym next week...

4. Work is busy busy but not so much too. Last week I didnt work on Mothers Day and also on the Wednesday after my dentist I called out used some PPTO. I worked normal week before my first 40 hour week this year! So my check was nice. I wish they'd give me 40 hrs each week :( Work is work till I get a new job...

5. Dentist on Tuesday the 10th not fun. The 10th marks 16 years since my grandma died still miss her forever will. I went and got my crown removed and replaced all at once. Took almost 3hrs. Ugh. Pain. That is why I called out Wednesday. But glad it done and over with and now its healing for real.

See you all next weekend. This week is busy busy. With two phone appointments and a baby shower its sure to be a fun to write about. See you all then. God bless you :)