Welcome to March!! Thanks to the LEAP YEAR we got an extra day. And next Sunday is Day Light Savings so we lose sleep :( but gain an hour of daylight :) How was your week? Mine was as usual busy and such.
1. Work is blah. My hours up and down like a roller coaster. Still I complain and dont actually try for a job so I will never get to leave again if I dont. So I gotta work on that for real and stop just talking about it. Busy and such. Turning stuff around and trying to prevent theft. Which is good but boy the lengths we are going to for this is just crazy. :/ Anyways. Work is work.
2. Show 5 was excellent mostly. I had fun. I love doing my radio shows. After I done met with my sister for free IHOP pancakes. Yummy!! Then went back home to chill. I always go back to try to do stuff but mostly didnt do what I planned. Its how it goes.
3. GYM twice Monday & Wednesday. Both times smaller gym near us. But at least we did it. Yes we did! I love the GYM. Even if I am still sick thank God I think its finally starting to leave my body. Oh please just go away for good :(
4. Thursday was an odd day. Got up early and went to the Safari Park once more with my mom and sister. But things went down hill. While we ha fun did mostly what planned. Not all of it. I couldn't meet with my Pastor as I wanted to. :( And now I am unsure if we meeting up next week and I still want to and need to talk to him. I got about 30min in before our study which was not bad. I got a lot out of it but since half of what meant to talk about including 3 devotionals I worked very hard to finish were not spoken of. It was not as great as wanted. Church was good. Sad some people couldn't make it again :( I miss them. But I love all the hugs you want to give me.
5. 2016 I am trying to recall details for this year. I was still at babies r us, still at palmar working on my tv and such classes. Of course we lost my cousins dad that year very sad :( He died 20 years after his wife died in 1996. Big things for me: I began to re think death again whenever someone dies I seem to feel closer to heaven. Also big deal: My ex best friend pointed out I was bitter. And when she did that I realized I was I began to ask God for forgiveness against all the bitterness in my life. Stay tuned to next week because 2017 was one of the hardest but best years in my 10 year decade review!!
I had a rough week this time with Rainbow. She has been gone 20wks it still feels fresh like a fresh wound. I love her and I miss her so much. Jesus is healing me. But Tuesday, Friday and of course yesterday big cry days for me. I just want to be alone to cry then I want to be held so much. I pray for many hugs because really they get through it. Love and hugs from those at church who care about me is my healing process. See you all next week!! God bless you always :)
Every weekend I write down the top 5 things that happened to me from the week it ends on (usually Sundays). Stole/borrowed the idea from author Sarah Dessen. Very fun!
Saturday, February 29, 2020
Saturday, February 22, 2020
The Weekend 5 (Sunday, February 23rd 2020)
LAST one of these for this month. SAY WHAT? Why did January seem to creep by but February flew? See ya! And this month included an extra day (coming up this coming Saturday haha). How was your week? Mine was busy but that was fine :)
1. Work this week blah. But worked less as stated so that was good. I wasn't working Saturday of last weekend which tech was part of this week. So that was nice. Came back Sunday and STILL felt tired on Monday like I had worked all 4 days. Sigh. Its just how it is. It was a trial this week working two days where I came at 3 and made a way to get my lunch so late that it didnt matter I missed my last break. I swear they really need to get their act together at my job. I'm kinda over it as is my other co workers with them REFUSING to find coverage for our breaks and lunches. If we dont cover each other we can walk away or just not take it. Which is totally unfair and really against the law. Just saying. I need a new job I am praying for one. But I need to stop just praying and start looking. I'm over this. But I dont want to complain about it so much so I will stop now. Work is work. Stressful as crap. A job that should be simple is 100% beyond simple that was what my co worker told me yesterday and I totally agree!
2. GYM did it twice. But both trips were short. A loner trip Monday but felt shorter. And 20min again on Thursday our second week in a row doing this. Next Thursday we not doing it at all cause of the Safari Park we might go after my shift on Wednesday MAYBE shall see since I am off earlier! I love the gym and as stated before wish I could go more than twice a week!!
3. Show 4 went great at school nearly 100% perfect. I was happy with that one. I was glad. Afterwards went downtown and got my medicine then took bus back to the library to meet my sister. Long long day. Most are long not just this one. Kinda sad didnt meet with my Pastor but he couldn't and I needed my medicine. We meeting next week its all good!
4. Thursday was a long day but no complaining. I went with my GOOD FRIEND on a walk around this place close to us called "Prince of Peace Abbey" and it was so beautiful day out. Beautiful clouds, so many birds and butterflies. I love butterflies. And I love birds. I had fun getting to be with my friend. I love having friends again. Real friends. I'm unsure if I ever had real friends like this so I will say I am glad to FINALLY have real friends again and hanging out with them outside of church IS SO AWESOME!!! After I got home later was the bible study had fun there as always. Interesting. I learn so much about this stuff every week I didnt really see before.
5. 2015 was one year I wont forget. Continued to work at Babies R Us. Was still in school. At Palomar I was on Palomar Live I learned about working on a tv show and I was on tv twice once for 2 minutes. Once for the whole 30min show. Then Maggie died in October so that was a sad year. I miss that silly cat :(
Well that is all for now. Had some rain yesterday thunder and lightning and all. But it gone today!! And on we go with this month. Have a good one. See you all in March. God bless you!!!
1. Work this week blah. But worked less as stated so that was good. I wasn't working Saturday of last weekend which tech was part of this week. So that was nice. Came back Sunday and STILL felt tired on Monday like I had worked all 4 days. Sigh. Its just how it is. It was a trial this week working two days where I came at 3 and made a way to get my lunch so late that it didnt matter I missed my last break. I swear they really need to get their act together at my job. I'm kinda over it as is my other co workers with them REFUSING to find coverage for our breaks and lunches. If we dont cover each other we can walk away or just not take it. Which is totally unfair and really against the law. Just saying. I need a new job I am praying for one. But I need to stop just praying and start looking. I'm over this. But I dont want to complain about it so much so I will stop now. Work is work. Stressful as crap. A job that should be simple is 100% beyond simple that was what my co worker told me yesterday and I totally agree!
2. GYM did it twice. But both trips were short. A loner trip Monday but felt shorter. And 20min again on Thursday our second week in a row doing this. Next Thursday we not doing it at all cause of the Safari Park we might go after my shift on Wednesday MAYBE shall see since I am off earlier! I love the gym and as stated before wish I could go more than twice a week!!
3. Show 4 went great at school nearly 100% perfect. I was happy with that one. I was glad. Afterwards went downtown and got my medicine then took bus back to the library to meet my sister. Long long day. Most are long not just this one. Kinda sad didnt meet with my Pastor but he couldn't and I needed my medicine. We meeting next week its all good!
4. Thursday was a long day but no complaining. I went with my GOOD FRIEND on a walk around this place close to us called "Prince of Peace Abbey" and it was so beautiful day out. Beautiful clouds, so many birds and butterflies. I love butterflies. And I love birds. I had fun getting to be with my friend. I love having friends again. Real friends. I'm unsure if I ever had real friends like this so I will say I am glad to FINALLY have real friends again and hanging out with them outside of church IS SO AWESOME!!! After I got home later was the bible study had fun there as always. Interesting. I learn so much about this stuff every week I didnt really see before.
5. 2015 was one year I wont forget. Continued to work at Babies R Us. Was still in school. At Palomar I was on Palomar Live I learned about working on a tv show and I was on tv twice once for 2 minutes. Once for the whole 30min show. Then Maggie died in October so that was a sad year. I miss that silly cat :(
Well that is all for now. Had some rain yesterday thunder and lightning and all. But it gone today!! And on we go with this month. Have a good one. See you all in March. God bless you!!!
Saturday, February 15, 2020
The Weekend 5 (Sunday, February 16th 2020)
Speeding right along through this month aren't we? One more of these for the month! And that includes a bonus day it is after all leap year!! How was your week? I had a lot going on so I will try to keep it in 5 total not 6 (no promises)
1. Work this week was less. I worked only 4 days total for this week and 4 for next week coming now too. All cause I took Friday (one week) and Saturday (this week) off. So I only worked twice this weekend not 4x total which is my norm. My next Saturday off unless they give it to me is in March for the Hot Chocolate 5K coming up on March 22nd so that will be March 21st and March 22nd. Work is weird. I mean its okay. I am trying to be okay at work but I know I am not supposed to be there. Why am I there still? Cause I refuse to apply for another job. ANYTHING at this point would do. I just want out. I am praying for this push while sitting down not trying on my end. While I know God can move me out it happened with BRU I dont want it to have to be that dramatic to get me to quit. Now they are changing rules again and I am unsure how much more I can handle. This on top of our regular stuff and I am just supposed to be okay. Still short handed still not enough people still stress more than I can handle. I am okay on days when there are all of us and horrible on days when there are less. I know my co workers feel the same. And creepy as crap is the two AP people and maybe our boss too (unsure) like to just watch us sometimes for no reason at all. I agree with my co worker "I do not feel safe" no I do not. Why? Watch the criminals not us watching for them and only doing so much cause we can only do so much :/ why me!
2. GYM did it twice this week. On Monday after my job. And that was nice at the other gym. Then quickly and not as much time at the regular GYM on Thursday. That was our GYM time this week yup yup. I love GYM wish we could go more than twice a week :(
3. School did show 3 not bad actually minus a few issues. After I done I headed over to my church to meet up for day 2 of my Pastor. He gave me some inside stuff I hadn't known and it both enlightened me and depressed me. I feel like its too much to handle. Here is the scoop: for 17 years almost 4 month I put everything into my dog everything. We all have baskets we balance them. Anything can be a basket you need balance. You can do it with anyone or anything. If you put it all in ONE thing and that thing is taken away say a dog. (it can be a person too, a hobby, etc) then it leave a big hole in your life. So what my mom says is true when she tells me that she thinks it looks like a hole is missing from my heart. IT REALLY IS! Now what to do? I need to find a filling for it. So I have been praying about this. So much. I also think I want to get married again and gulp I even want to have a baby. Not adopt not go into a relationship where they have a child or children. But I want a baby. Its too much. Not really. Instead of praying for this I am praying for Gods will and I pray for miracles. I am still learning to pray BIG prayers and stop trying to hold back. Its not easy. My Pastor now still knows even more about my family how I was raised and such. He gave me a lot to think about. I love my church they love me. Its the love that they are giving me that is truly getting me through my heartbreaking time.
4. Friday was my moms birthday. And Valentines Day. I had this thought: what if next year I have a valentine I HAVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE!! Not a guy at least. ;) Anyways. Went and babysat at the church as my monthly volunteer so I dont have to miss church this month!! :) They had fun we watched a movie and ate pizza. Not bad way to spend my Friday. Then yesterday we did the real present for my mom. Falcon and Hawk thing at La Jolla Torrey Pines. My mom held a falcon with a group. It was fun. A beautiful day. Then we had lunch at Islands. Not bad two days off work.
5. 2014 was an interesting year. It didnt begin so much. My unemployment ran out and I was living off saved extra money and then my tax return to get me till April. In April on the 1st cause God has a sense of humor :) I got hired at Babies R Us although it wasn't official till the 3rd. Thus began my almost 4 years with the company. Also in 2014 we began going to school with the BOG waver. I began working towards my dread of tv or radio. I was doing very well my first semester I did online stuff at Mira Costa and Palomar and one in person at Palomar. I was on my way and it was nearly free all the way cause I was poor and working less. Ah the good old days when I didnt have credit cards to bog down my money just a few bills...
Well that is all for this week. Next week wont be as exciting but not boring. Have a good week. See you next weekend. God bless you all!! And I'm sick now too a week of fighting it I just gave in and decided to let it run instead of playing games daily trying to keep it from coming on you stupid cold :(
1. Work this week was less. I worked only 4 days total for this week and 4 for next week coming now too. All cause I took Friday (one week) and Saturday (this week) off. So I only worked twice this weekend not 4x total which is my norm. My next Saturday off unless they give it to me is in March for the Hot Chocolate 5K coming up on March 22nd so that will be March 21st and March 22nd. Work is weird. I mean its okay. I am trying to be okay at work but I know I am not supposed to be there. Why am I there still? Cause I refuse to apply for another job. ANYTHING at this point would do. I just want out. I am praying for this push while sitting down not trying on my end. While I know God can move me out it happened with BRU I dont want it to have to be that dramatic to get me to quit. Now they are changing rules again and I am unsure how much more I can handle. This on top of our regular stuff and I am just supposed to be okay. Still short handed still not enough people still stress more than I can handle. I am okay on days when there are all of us and horrible on days when there are less. I know my co workers feel the same. And creepy as crap is the two AP people and maybe our boss too (unsure) like to just watch us sometimes for no reason at all. I agree with my co worker "I do not feel safe" no I do not. Why? Watch the criminals not us watching for them and only doing so much cause we can only do so much :/ why me!
2. GYM did it twice this week. On Monday after my job. And that was nice at the other gym. Then quickly and not as much time at the regular GYM on Thursday. That was our GYM time this week yup yup. I love GYM wish we could go more than twice a week :(
3. School did show 3 not bad actually minus a few issues. After I done I headed over to my church to meet up for day 2 of my Pastor. He gave me some inside stuff I hadn't known and it both enlightened me and depressed me. I feel like its too much to handle. Here is the scoop: for 17 years almost 4 month I put everything into my dog everything. We all have baskets we balance them. Anything can be a basket you need balance. You can do it with anyone or anything. If you put it all in ONE thing and that thing is taken away say a dog. (it can be a person too, a hobby, etc) then it leave a big hole in your life. So what my mom says is true when she tells me that she thinks it looks like a hole is missing from my heart. IT REALLY IS! Now what to do? I need to find a filling for it. So I have been praying about this. So much. I also think I want to get married again and gulp I even want to have a baby. Not adopt not go into a relationship where they have a child or children. But I want a baby. Its too much. Not really. Instead of praying for this I am praying for Gods will and I pray for miracles. I am still learning to pray BIG prayers and stop trying to hold back. Its not easy. My Pastor now still knows even more about my family how I was raised and such. He gave me a lot to think about. I love my church they love me. Its the love that they are giving me that is truly getting me through my heartbreaking time.
4. Friday was my moms birthday. And Valentines Day. I had this thought: what if next year I have a valentine I HAVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE!! Not a guy at least. ;) Anyways. Went and babysat at the church as my monthly volunteer so I dont have to miss church this month!! :) They had fun we watched a movie and ate pizza. Not bad way to spend my Friday. Then yesterday we did the real present for my mom. Falcon and Hawk thing at La Jolla Torrey Pines. My mom held a falcon with a group. It was fun. A beautiful day. Then we had lunch at Islands. Not bad two days off work.
5. 2014 was an interesting year. It didnt begin so much. My unemployment ran out and I was living off saved extra money and then my tax return to get me till April. In April on the 1st cause God has a sense of humor :) I got hired at Babies R Us although it wasn't official till the 3rd. Thus began my almost 4 years with the company. Also in 2014 we began going to school with the BOG waver. I began working towards my dread of tv or radio. I was doing very well my first semester I did online stuff at Mira Costa and Palomar and one in person at Palomar. I was on my way and it was nearly free all the way cause I was poor and working less. Ah the good old days when I didnt have credit cards to bog down my money just a few bills...
Well that is all for this week. Next week wont be as exciting but not boring. Have a good week. See you next weekend. God bless you all!! And I'm sick now too a week of fighting it I just gave in and decided to let it run instead of playing games daily trying to keep it from coming on you stupid cold :(
Saturday, February 8, 2020
The Weekend 5 (Sunday, February 9th 2020)
Welcome to week 2 of these. Our weather has been rather crazy this past week. We had two different nights of freeze warnings. And rain this weekend. Some heat. Then cold again at night. I think Spring is coming but its taking its time and surely might come till March sorry that the ground hog might be wrong!
1. Work this week blah. My hours are improving which is good but thats about all that is improving. I need to look for a new job. I think the way things are going I hope to be gone by Summer is my goal. Till then yes I work still here and I still work hard and I am still stressed out by my job. Especially how they handle our breaks and issues that come when they do not do them right. AKA I have to walk away because they refuse to find someone to cover me on time for me to go. NOT MY FAULT! Sigh.
2. Gym did it just once. We got pizza Monday then we worked out. We planned a second one on Thursday but ran out of time and did not make it. Oh well. But I miss it. I wish I could work out every day but thats not possible. I miss when I used to do this before work at BRU that was a great time. I am unsure how I would survive today on the little hours I got but I liked it at the time I made it work!
3. School show 2 was great. Much better. I got to record it for one which was great. Things went smoothly. I feel it was a good show. I am on my way to getting homework done for my internship. And being hopeful I can complete one or two fast track online classes beginning in March I believe is when they begin. Wish me luck!
4. So few things happened sum them up here: Tuesday after my show I went to the church and spoke with my Pastor in counseling for my grief over my dog that I still miss so much. Some how it turned into my anxiety panic attacks and such. I am a mess btw. Not gonna say a lot except I got a lot of good ideas and help. But I am going to see him next week again because I realized I sadly hadn't said half of what I had planned to say. That is my ADD brain not getting it all out when I had so much to say while not knowing how this would go. Thursday before the study mom my sister and me went to the Safari Park its free for Seniors in February so mom got in for free we have passes. Only there like 2hrs but surely did a lot more than I thought. It was fun! I love my study I love so many people. You dont know how great it is to love people and have them love me back. Its always been so exhausting for me to love people and have them not love me back. I feel the love I know the love me. I will miss you all next week! We break up for meals and I'm not going again. So no study for two weeks :( wah!!
5. 2013 was a depressing year for me. I spent the whole year living off unemployment, applying for jobs non stop, going to interviews and getting no where. I was so depressed at times I would cry and cry and just want it to be over with. I truly look back on 2013 as a horrible year. I did see lots of movies because I had so much time. We also did our St Patricks Day Race and the following weekend the Hot Chocolate race. We still do this race every year we fell in love with it!! So that was some of the good for that year.
Well that is all for now. 17wks I miss you Rainbow still. I want to say I am okay but I am not. I might not cry as much as I usually do but I am still missing you so much. As I said on my post for today. When she died she took my heart and I am unsure if I can live without my heart. How can I do it? Please pastor help me!!!! :( See you all next week. God bless you always!!
1. Work this week blah. My hours are improving which is good but thats about all that is improving. I need to look for a new job. I think the way things are going I hope to be gone by Summer is my goal. Till then yes I work still here and I still work hard and I am still stressed out by my job. Especially how they handle our breaks and issues that come when they do not do them right. AKA I have to walk away because they refuse to find someone to cover me on time for me to go. NOT MY FAULT! Sigh.
2. Gym did it just once. We got pizza Monday then we worked out. We planned a second one on Thursday but ran out of time and did not make it. Oh well. But I miss it. I wish I could work out every day but thats not possible. I miss when I used to do this before work at BRU that was a great time. I am unsure how I would survive today on the little hours I got but I liked it at the time I made it work!
3. School show 2 was great. Much better. I got to record it for one which was great. Things went smoothly. I feel it was a good show. I am on my way to getting homework done for my internship. And being hopeful I can complete one or two fast track online classes beginning in March I believe is when they begin. Wish me luck!
4. So few things happened sum them up here: Tuesday after my show I went to the church and spoke with my Pastor in counseling for my grief over my dog that I still miss so much. Some how it turned into my anxiety panic attacks and such. I am a mess btw. Not gonna say a lot except I got a lot of good ideas and help. But I am going to see him next week again because I realized I sadly hadn't said half of what I had planned to say. That is my ADD brain not getting it all out when I had so much to say while not knowing how this would go. Thursday before the study mom my sister and me went to the Safari Park its free for Seniors in February so mom got in for free we have passes. Only there like 2hrs but surely did a lot more than I thought. It was fun! I love my study I love so many people. You dont know how great it is to love people and have them love me back. Its always been so exhausting for me to love people and have them not love me back. I feel the love I know the love me. I will miss you all next week! We break up for meals and I'm not going again. So no study for two weeks :( wah!!
5. 2013 was a depressing year for me. I spent the whole year living off unemployment, applying for jobs non stop, going to interviews and getting no where. I was so depressed at times I would cry and cry and just want it to be over with. I truly look back on 2013 as a horrible year. I did see lots of movies because I had so much time. We also did our St Patricks Day Race and the following weekend the Hot Chocolate race. We still do this race every year we fell in love with it!! So that was some of the good for that year.
Well that is all for now. 17wks I miss you Rainbow still. I want to say I am okay but I am not. I might not cry as much as I usually do but I am still missing you so much. As I said on my post for today. When she died she took my heart and I am unsure if I can live without my heart. How can I do it? Please pastor help me!!!! :( See you all next week. God bless you always!!
Saturday, February 1, 2020
The Weekend 5 (Sunday, February 2nd 2020)
Thats a cool date. Check it out. If you write 02/02/2020 backwards and forward its the same. This is a rare thing you must enjoy it now ;) Welcome to February. The ground hog day and super bowl Sunday. How was your week?
1. Work this week blah. At least my hours are back. And for once no anxiety full on attacks just mini ones. My job is truly testing my patience out. Ugh. I am so glad to be at the end of my week not the beginning of it. Work is work. I need a new job I need to work hard to get away from this job. But till then I work what I can and do my best. Sigh.
2. Gym this week twice again. Monday and then again on Thursday. Both times short days. I really need to work on more than just basics but I figure its better then nothing. Being so tired all the time. And busy. A little workout is a good thing.
3. School show 1 was a success. Just sad didnt get a recording of it. Little things happened. But it was good. I am glad to be back and back to working on Show 2.
4. Bible study was a nice one of course. I had fun. I love going to the study. I love being around people who mean a lot to mean love me and take care of me. I am always learning new things about what we studying or talking after in our groups. Its amazing. God is amazing!!!
5. 2012 our third time doing this. It was probably my worst year on record. It began good. I was at Legoland and again in March after January and then it went down hill. March till September I had work. I thought it good till my boss went nuts and told me I could only maybe come back in the winter. Then I did the halloween thing in October and was let go and told I could never come back. Till this date they have stuck by this. All for not smiling enough among the other weird things. So in November till December I had hickory farms. Which turned into losing my job 3 weeks early and filing for unemployment. Thus began my long trek to working at BRU. That was bad year 2012.
Well see you all next weekend. Have a good week. God bless you always.
1. Work this week blah. At least my hours are back. And for once no anxiety full on attacks just mini ones. My job is truly testing my patience out. Ugh. I am so glad to be at the end of my week not the beginning of it. Work is work. I need a new job I need to work hard to get away from this job. But till then I work what I can and do my best. Sigh.
2. Gym this week twice again. Monday and then again on Thursday. Both times short days. I really need to work on more than just basics but I figure its better then nothing. Being so tired all the time. And busy. A little workout is a good thing.
3. School show 1 was a success. Just sad didnt get a recording of it. Little things happened. But it was good. I am glad to be back and back to working on Show 2.
4. Bible study was a nice one of course. I had fun. I love going to the study. I love being around people who mean a lot to mean love me and take care of me. I am always learning new things about what we studying or talking after in our groups. Its amazing. God is amazing!!!
5. 2012 our third time doing this. It was probably my worst year on record. It began good. I was at Legoland and again in March after January and then it went down hill. March till September I had work. I thought it good till my boss went nuts and told me I could only maybe come back in the winter. Then I did the halloween thing in October and was let go and told I could never come back. Till this date they have stuck by this. All for not smiling enough among the other weird things. So in November till December I had hickory farms. Which turned into losing my job 3 weeks early and filing for unemployment. Thus began my long trek to working at BRU. That was bad year 2012.
Well see you all next weekend. Have a good week. God bless you always.