Whelp here we are again. I mean it. Nothing has changed. Well at work things are weirder and weirder and that is just how things are going... I'm over this. Yes I know God has this and He is in control. I just need to stop trying to play the negative game that the world is playing :(
1. Work this week BLAH! Been doing my temperature checks for a week now and its annoying but I do it. And they stamp our arms now because people were not doing it. Bad them. Well I do it. And there you go. And I pass it. Btw I check my temperature when I get up every day and I also hold my breath for 10 seconds and let go. I am not gonna get sick. I am not worried. But that is work. Now we aren't returning stuff and the customer service area keeps changing their hours now on their 3rd hour change including the original and new one from a few weeks ago. I just wanna go back to garden being open, everyone go out their own doors, etc. I hate checking receipts and swear now that we ARENT people keep trying to make us anyways. Ugh. But I agree with my co worker some people are just being nice. Where did that come from? I get thanked at least 10x a day for being here. Just being here at the door counting people. How long will this go on for? I dont mean the virus and us being stuck at home. That is gonna end soon I am sure of it give it a month maybe. But I mean this? Masks, counting people, etc. I think it might not go away. BUT I would rather wear masks, count people, have the store have weird hours but still have more stores open, restaurants and movie theaters. And PLEASE LET CHURCH OPEN SOON! I mean I get this wont go away. Its not gonna. I get that. What I want is more normal back even if its half normal again. I would take masks that dont work anyways any day then this.
2. Workouts this week I only did one. I planned more but some stuff happened. Mainly my sleep issues getting worse from this and all that. Well anyways. I thought I was getting sick one day again. Yeah this virus has messed with me. You suck! So it took some of my sleep and some of my workouts. I miss the gym so much. Not as much as church but still miss it :(
3. Tuesday my good friend came over. We had the best time. She brought her dog. We walked around the neighborhood for like 45min it was a nice workout. And then sat outside for another 2hrs. That was 2.5hrs with her. I still miss hugging her. Dang it. So close :( it sucks. We want to hug so bad. I know its hard for her too. She loves hugs I love hugs I love her hugs. So it was hard. But I had fun. Didnt realize till later that I got sunburned :( but oh well! Later on that day I chatted with my friend the pastors wife. She is so nice. It was a nice chat. But as much as I enjoy talking with her I'm gonna limit my chats to every two weeks as nothing has really happened since last time. She gave me ideas for stuff to do when I am bored. A few. She's trying to get me to take my mind off the fact life sucks and nothing is going right. And such. She is just trying to help me. And I am okay with this. My melt downs are just bad this week! ZOOM meeting was fun had that too but miss them all so much. God only knows and no one else if we are gonna get to do any more virtue meetings in person or if this thing I committed myself to last fall will end with me on my computer like everything else :( Church on Sunday was great last week on Easter. My pastor spoke! And then I guess it too soon so unsure when it will be soon enough. God is still healing him. I guess he wanted this to work and it didnt. So even when we go back to church I am unsure when he will speak. Probably not till after his operation which could be not till June... I MISS MY NORMAL! I MISS MY CHURCH SO MUCH :(
4. I want to talk about my complicated grief for a minute. Complicate grief can include what I have. Anxiety and Depression along with grieving. Well that could explain my constant melt downs. I literally cry every day. I was doing so good till all this. I was crying less about my dog. And now I am back to crying every day. I miss her and so much. I feel like I am mourning and grieving daily. And its not helping me. Nothing is. So there is that. I am a mess. I know Jesus has me. I am his mess. But still a big stinking mess. I am grateful in all this for the people who love me and are still right there with me praying for me and taking care of me and all this and being okay with it. Including my pastor and my other dear friends. Love you all so much
5. RIP is my last section. I feel like on top of all I have lost this year like my radio show and my church and all that all of that. We first lost the Olympics wow how insane. Now having them next year we are gonna have them in 2021 and 2022! The Del Mar Fair cancelled on us and then just yesterday just 2 days after the fair the not shocker but still there Comic Con. There is literally nothing this summer to look forward to now. NOTHING! What? The beach and water parks? Nothing else. I am unsure how much longer all THIS is gonna go on for but all the summer stuff I have that I had lined up every year is gone too. Oh the race I forgot about that too. UGH. I hate this year this virus all this.
Well I'm being negative so I'm gonna say good bye. Have a nice week. One more of these for April. April has been incredibly long and not much fun at all. Which is sad because up until this year, April was my favorite month of the year! :( God bless you. He has this. I dont for sure and I am glad I dont even if sometimes I wish I did...
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