The Weekend 5 (Sunday, December 27th 2020)

Welcome. Sorry this is so late! Last one of these for 2020 wow what a year its been. I am unsure what the new year brings but I know God is on the throne and it will all be okay.

1. Work was not that busy last week as I only worked a few times. I worked just Monday of last week and then Saturday that was it. I had to call out for both my birthday and the 23rd as I had asked for them off and guess why denied. Didnt make me happy but oh well. So work was busy on Monday and I was glad to be off for 4 days. Then day after Christmas was busy too. People with attitudes its like what is your problem.

2. Wednesday felt pointless for the first part. I went to my pain specialist it normally takes less then an hour idk what happened. But I was left in that room waiting to talk to someone for nearly 1 hour and got out 1 hour 10 minutes later. With no answer. I didnt get to talk about my pain or anything. He just talked to me for 2 minutes. Okay I am over this now. I dont want to try to get help anymore. I will call them as they asked but honestly God healed me. My neck isn't that bad. I dont know if I need more help. But I am tired of trying to fight for this. So after that and almost getting late for my dentist. He looked at my tooth that was now bugging me for almost 2 months since we wait here and there for it. He said it doesn't need another root canal HOWEVER to keep an eye on it. He readjusted my final crown as I am biting down hard on it (probably in my sleep no doubt). So that appointment went well. Wednesday exhausted me. I had to use time off pay to not get two points. I came home and watched two Christmas movies in a row and just relaxed. It was some day off for sure!

3. Workouts this week I did one only cause of Christmas. But it was a nice walk. Back to regular walks next week BIG GOAL! I miss the gym. But with the way things are going unsure if the GYM will open back up before February or March. UGH!

4. My birthday was on a Sunday. I didnt do much so it didnt feel like my birthday. But I got to go to church that was the most important thing. And the LOVE! I got gifts from friends. A ton of hugs lots of love. And my pastor gave me the greatest gift of all HE PRAYED FOR MY BIRTHDAY! I love you pastor and everyone so much. After beautiful church time we got take out and sat by the harbor. Then went for a drive. Got my free starbucks and went home. I took a nap and relaxed. I am 41 wow thats insane.

5. Christmas Eve was so awesome. We went to church a candlelight service which including us actually at the end lighting candles to hold. Yes I kept mine. It was so fun so blessed. Christmas Day my sister and me both off. It went weird. We had to make the turkey ourselves. It turned out great! Thank God! Opened gifts. Ate later and just relaxed. Thus ended my 4 days off in a row.

Well good bye 2020 happy 2021. Maybe I will do some sorta recap next week shall see. Have a great week. See you all in the new year :) God bless you all

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, December 20th 2020)

 Welcome. Happy Birthday to me! More about that next week since I write from Sunday to the following Saturday... but hey. All good

1. Work this week one big blah! I didnt call out once but its been super duper busy. Monday I got to use my bonus discount and treated myself to a few things, bought a few extra gifts and a few things for the church toy thingy. It feels good to do that. I always try to do something this time of year and this is what we doing this time :) But yeah work busy. So glad we done with the last weekend before Christmas. AND SO GLAD I ONLY WORK ONE MORE DAY THIS WEEK AND OFF FOR 4!!!!

2. Church beautiful. I love my church. Love and prayers and support. Looking back I will never get why I took so long to talk to these people because church before and church after look so different. I felt the love around me and ran for it like my life was a threat for way too long.  While people prayed for me and wanted me to talk to them and God finally got me where He wanted me. Talking to people, fellowshipping, praying and having them pray for me and most important talking to my beautiful pastor and family love them all so much! Thursday was great. Sad my friend couldn't come :( but church was great. Off for 3 weeks (well 2 weeks so back in 3). Miss ya when its done it will be sad it so short 10 weeks is flying by :(

3. Workouts this week I did two walks. Tuesday & Thursday love them! This coming week only one walk I think unsure will see about a bonus walk in there somewhere maybe...just maybe... I had therapy on Tuesday was sad to find out that the therapist I've been having for the past 3 time was only a 'student' and no longer there so now I had to chose someone else to work with. I just gotta keep going, keep praying and keep believing God is healing me because He is in His time for sure not mine!

4. School is done for the semester. Due to me making way too much $$ I doubt I can get any free money for school next year I will TRY but doubt it. If I can I might take an online or two class but nothing too harsh or books and such and for sure NO MORE ZOOM. I am still trying to pray and hope I might get my radio show back by Summer or Fall next year if I can get help. Shall see God willing

5. The 19th marks 22 years since my knee injury the night before my 19th birthday. A night that changed my life for sure and was an injury I couldn't prevent. I will always have that injury. And here I am 22 years later with a new work injury still dealing with but this time I dealing with it right. I got the help I needed and in 1998 I did not. That is why we sued them and one that is why it is different this time. I keep recalling that God told me "it will be okay" before I even got to talk to my manger at work when my pain was so bad....

Well see ya next weekend. Merry Christmas. I will talk about Christmas and my birthday next time around. But yeah as of this writing I am for sure 41 yikes I am now in my 40's.... ;) God Bless!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, December 13th 2020)

 One week from now I will have another birthday. Unlike all my birthdays since we moved out here it will be very different. Nothing to do much at all. I have very little plans. I am even unsure what kinda cake to have. This is how the year is going. But yes I will be turning 41 and beginning my journey into my 40's...

1. Church was beautiful. We had free tacos but plans. I was loved and prayed over for my dentist trip. It was a nice day. I love church. Thursday was the bible study. My dear friend showed up :) even if I was in pain from dentist (see below) it was a good time. I love my church so very much!!

2. My sisters birthday was on the 6th as said last week. Sadly everything shut down on the 7th. So we did a lunch for Red Robin normally we do this on my birthday. We get free meals. It was nice held outside last time. Then we did the Safari Park for almost 3 hours and the Zoo almost 2 hours. It was a lot of stuff I was so tired next day. But since it all closing down till next year. It had to be done. And it was. Fun! 

3. Workouts just did one walk this week :( but it was a nice walk still :) I love it. But I still miss the GYM so much for real. I have no idea when or if the gym will ever open again could be a while for real...

4. Work busy busy. It gets crazier and crazier. That is how it goes. I will survive this but my work injury is just getting more annoyed again. I'm back to having neck pains cause of the iPads. Its not fun :( and I have no idea what to do as they never approved anymore work for me to get done on the neck. 

5. Therapy for my shoulder good on Tuesday then I had a bad cry day as I was just feeling down about my shoulder. I know Gods timing is not mine. I know He is in control and still healing me but I get so frustrated almost 5 months later and still I am like this... My dentist on Thursday was set to be not simple but not complicated but it turned it. I had my final crown and filling. Instead of taking 2 hours I was there almost 4 hours. I had to rush home to change and go to church. And I was still half numb most of church...ugh

That is all for now. Have a great week everyone. Cant believe my birthday is coming. Idk what the future holds but I know who holds my future. God bless you all :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, December 6th 2020)

 Welcome to December!! And a BIG Happy Birthday to my younger sister Melody :) Hey sis have a great day we gonna have a fun fun day hurray yup hurray!!

1. Work this was blah. I worked it all baby all of it. And its getting more stressful. My stress is THIS HIGH! Thank God for keeping me calm. But my neck hurts a lot. And just stressful. Our county is going under stay at home begins tomorrow :( everything is closing pretty much but church isn't so thats great news :) So yeah work this week was busy but its done!

2. Workouts I did 2 walks this week fun times. And I am being a good girl and daily doing my arm exercises for my shoulder. I should be doing my neck ones too. I really should go back to those. I should be doing both. At this point I am UNSURE if I will be getting any more therapies for my neck injury. I have my doctor appointment in 2 weeks and so far no idea what is going to happen. Its up to God truly and so far nothing.

3. Church was beautiful outside of course. Gorgeous day awesome time. Baptism after. Prayers and love. All of it. I love my church. Thursday back to the Virtue study week 2. Had fun. It bit nippy but we had. good time and I love going to that as well :) 

4. Did my 2nd set of therapies for my shoulder. Got there late so didnt get my full hour. Just enough time to be tortured moved around, asked to do 3 more exercises and then got to get my ice pack thingy that I just love to pieces. 

5. Dentist on Thursday zero fun. So far nothing. But on the 23rd the dentist who did my root canal will see me. If he thinks I need another root canal same tooth of course at least it wont cost me. But I will not be a happy camper. Still praying it doesn't need more work oh please no :(

That is all for now. Super happy to have today off for my sisters birthday. More about that next time. Have a bless week everyone. We are now TWO weeks from my birthday. Cant do much but I get to go to church and I love church and so many at church love me :)) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, November 29th 2020)

Welcome to the LAST ONE of this for November. Kinda hard to believe right? November is over after tomorrow. YIKES!! We are now 3 weeks from my birthday and 1 week from my sisters birthday...December is quickly approaching. Are you ready for this?!?!

1. Work this week BUSY. Yes I did work all my shifts go me. I also got my bonus last week and spent most of it well I saved half. It wasn't THAT big but bigger then norm and my call out and one day late probably didnt help my points. But hey...

2. Cleaned like crazy Tuesday & Thursday instead of going to school. I cleaned more on Thursday. Tuesday I barely did anything. This house my life one big disaster. I swear I will probably die before I get it all cleaned up at this point and then it wont matter oh well. Ha. This world is FOR SURE not my home. :)

3. Thanksgiving on Thursday was lovely but different. My dad didnt make the turkey but did help out it was mostly my sister and mom. What an experience! 10 years ago my family came to our apartment in AZ for thanksgiving. That was the last time we had a day when we helped out in some form with the turkey. Yup. Fun time that day! This time it was good the food was good. No complaints. But boy my hands did hurt and my shoulder too from working on the pies and then the yams. This was the first time I realized my injured shoulder would affect something so simple as cleaning up for the dinner and making food I been making for going on my 3rd year :( 

4. Church Sunday was lovely. I love church. I miss being inside and still praying we back inside asap. But its a nice set up. God keeps blessing us with beautiful sunny Sundays. Lots of love. Yes I love church for real :) 

5. Just one walk this week and no exercises. If I want to get better I really gotta keep doing them pretty much daily. Ugh. Really gotta work at it. Cant up. No idea if I getting more for my neck thats in Gods hands now still waiting to hear back. But I get back to my shoulder this week for that one...

That is all for now. Next week begins December and birthdays and holidays and Christmas in full swing. Tis the season to be insane. During a pandemic. Bring it on! God bless you. See you next month!! :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, November 22nd 2020)

 Welcome welcome welcome. One more of these this month. Hard to believe we are now staring down Thanksgiving this week. And heading full force into the holiday season. I truly dont think it feels like its coming but it is...ugh this virus!

1. Work this week busy busy. I called out on Wednesday I was feeling blah not myself. I felt very tired and achy and I had other things going on so I just called out. Yes I took a point and took the pay but my next check will be okay so I can afford it so I did that. But work is busy yes and back to counting too oh dear :(

2. GyM I miss you so much :( Just did a walk twice this week it was beautiful to go on walks. I tried once to do my exercises at home I really should do them daily this is a bad thing ugh ugh. Try harder we shall

3. Got to do my therapy this week for my shoulder. I will be back in 2 weeks on the 1st of December. It was SO nice to get someone to look at my shoulder. Sure it was unsettling when he said it felt like it could be torn even though I was told by the MRI it does not have that. Who do I believe? I believe we have a lot of work to do, God has a lot of healing left to do. But God has been healing me this whole time God is faithful!! 

4. Church beautiful on Sunday even if outside. I am unsure how long this will last but I am praying we back inside by our birthdays I can hope right....at least mine at least unsure on my sisters shall see. Fingers crossed hands raised oh please. 

5. Bible study Thursday so glad to be back at virtue. Different doing this like this not in small groups but we still met in person that is the most important thing. Yeah it was a bit cold not in our warm room outside but we had to. And hope before this is over we back inside (see #4 above this). I love my church I love my church family I love it all. 

That is all for now. This week is thanksgiving, so no school...if I haven't mentioned it lately I am still missing my radio show. God is so good btw. SO GOOD!!!! I praise God for keeping me safe all the time from this virus. No matter how close it gets to me God has kept me safe. Have a blessed week see you all next week. And Happy Turkey day ;)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, November 15th 2020)

Welcome. Mid month mid Sunday 2 more to go. Crazy. Not the best week and some ways crazy. But here we are going along still. Back in purple back to no gym no church inside as of yesterday yikes. God is in control still.

1. Church was beautiful Sunday minus missing my pastor and his family. My friend prayed over me and I love her so much. And another friend too. I felt ready to face my final things this week. Or so I thought. So yes I love church yes I do. The 5th marked 3 years since we opened our beautiful little church.

2. Work this week ugh. Busy busy and such. Crazy people. crazy in general. Co workers quitting and others facing issues. I think I should pray more for my job. I do pray to be more like Jesus I do pray to work for him but I do forget still to get blessings there are plenty in every day. I do need to recall this. And not let it all overwhelm me.

3. Gym did it twice. Monday and again on Thursday. And now no more for the next few weeks. Ugh. I am gonna miss it so much. I love the gym. Why just why :(

4. Dentist I had to go Tuesday for my final crown and back again on Wednesday to get ANOTHER root canal. Cant believe it. So not back again for 3 weeks. And then 4 weeks. Wednesday also had my pain specialist doctor. Yes I can get more help if I need it. And he is gonna put it in. Lets be hopeful. Gods healing me slowly I trust in him.

5. Kinda hard to believe 13 years ago we were moving into our place in TN. I miss TN so much sometimes. I miss it and then I dont miss it. I wont regret it I never will. I love you TN

thats all for now. talk to you next week. Have a blessed week. God bless you!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, November 8th 2020)

Welcome to this rainy edition of this blog. And I work today when I didnt not too long ago. God wants me to work so will work. But I am still a bit sad. Oh well. Thats life.

1. Work has been okay this week. I had an extra day off and had a fun one indeed. I didnt call out at all this week after calling out once a week for the past two due to dental crap. Oh well there you go. Work is busy. Saturday they made a Black Friday sale deal we have 3 this month this is the first one. Open 5am special sales gone by end of day. So it wasn't that busy I hear as I came in at 11. Ugh. 2 more of these really? Work is also throwing hours at me. Here I thought I was gonna be doing 4 days a week or less for the rest of the year. Nope! After this coming week we in now I will be at 5 days a week 40 hours they are piling the hours on me its insane because I haven't seen 40 hour weeks in almost a year!

2. GYM did it just once. Per norm. But had a fun time. I was super tired and work had been very tiring but gym time was awesome. Felt it afterwards but it was fun indeed. Love the gym.

3. Church was so good last week. Top off with love and prayers. I will miss my pastor today he and his wife and family are in the Hawaii but back next week. Glad they having a fun time. But I still miss them and love them so much. But loves of love at church. Lots and lots :) And I was giving full hugs out to a few lucky people.

4. Tuesday I voted for the first time in nearly 20 years. I am disappointed my vote didnt count like I thought. I am still praying and hoping we will win this but I am unsure. I am sure God is on the throne He rules and if he wants the other party to be in office he will. I am sad for the babies the many abortions that will be back on :( please God no!

5. Wednesday day off we did the zoo we had a blast its as fun fun fun. Sure was tired but we had so much fun. And then we made it back to the area to go to Regal and see Monsters Inc we never seen in theaters. So a long fun day indeed. Until my temporary crown popped off and to go to the dentist and put it back on again :( final is next week

Well two things this week: dental and my doctor appointment. Oh and dying my hair. Been raining yesterday and again today too. Yuck. Have a nice night. God bless!! :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, November 1st 2020)

 Welcome to November. It feels weird this year. Nothing feels like normal. I am unsure how I will feel after the year is over. Cause we still have 3 major holidays and 2 more birthdays. And seeing as we are in November I am again not doing NaNoWriMo. I have been doing that lovely write a book in a month since 2008. Then 2019 happened when I lost Rainbow I lost my writing spirit and I couldn't do it. Then this year happened and well I am just not doing it again this year. However my *goal* is to either do it again next year or begin to edit one of my many past books! Shall see. Nice *GOALS*. I do love this month as I try to be thankful for every day of the month. So I shall try to do it again even if its on twitter. Lets do this 2 more months left this year. 

1. Church was awesome last week. I love church. I love it so much! I was prayed over again by my pastor. I took pictures with my friends. A wonderful message. Just great stuff. And yes as we are in this month coming soon is women's studies again. 10 weeks of fun begins on the 19th yes twice a week church will be back :)) 

2. Work is so blah! I worked Sunday & Monday and then I called out Wednesday due to my second part of my dental procedure ugh. I am down to less than 5 PTO which means I cant get paid to call out and will gain a point. It will take me months to get back up to a shift. I hope by time that happens I wont even be working here in anymore. Please oh please. And Saturday being Halloween was beyond busy. UGH. So insane. I worked two mornings in a row which was nice for me more sleep Saturday but still tired :/

3. I did my last 2 therapies for my neck. And now we wait. November 11th is coming in two weeks. So I have 2 weeks and I need to pray and figure out if I should get a shot in my neck for my pain. I truly thought after all my stuff I would be much closer to better. I thought God was using all this to heal me. Not saying He didnt. But I am still hurt and now unsure how well I will be till I am better and not doing stuff. Ugh. So much stress.

4. Wednesday I got my root canal done. It took about an hour. Ugh the pain. And not till the 10th to get my final on. I would say its healing but it still hurts. Thank God the area is not swollen that took like 3 days to go down. I also made an appointment by phone for this Thursday to discuss results of my shoulder MRI which I am pretty sure I wont know before then. This is all in Gods hands.

5. GYM did it twice wow!! Monday our usual plus Friday. Yeah fun. I love the gym. Also at home I did walks twice Tuesday & Thursday. I love my little walks part walks of prayer part quiet times sometimes other stuff. All good. I still miss Rainbow dont get me wrong but better each day with Jesus amen.

Thats all for now. This week wont be as crazy but it will be. With my paper being discussed on Thursday and my MRI thing and doing the ZOO on my day off this will be a not super busy but still steady week indeed. Bring on November here we go. Have a great week. God bless you!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, October 25th 2020)

Welcome to the last one of these for this month. I know I know. Here comes the holidays. A piece of me is relieved something normal. But the way things are going I am unsure how normal its gonna be. But heres to hoping. God is in control and is on the throne. It will be okay!

1. Work is blah. I had to call out for another dental issue so I didnt work as much. I worked Sunday, Monday, and Saturday. But didnt get scheduled Wednesday and called out on Friday. Yup. I did my last 2 acupuncture sessions. Now I am unsure if I am coming back shall know more after my doctor visit on the 11th. I had 1 therapy not 2. I have 2 more therapies left then those too will be gone. Unsure where we go from here since I'm not well yet. But will I ever be well enough to not get help? God healing me and using these means is all I got for now just trusting in Him.

2. Extra fun this week. First I had my MRI for my shoulder on Tuesday. I am still waiting for results. The doctor has them but has not yet looked at them so they not online. Also on Friday I had to go back to the dentist. My mom for now footed my bill so I will be paying her back for a long long long time. My other tooth that needed a root canal began to bug me way more than I was comfortable with. And I go back next week so I will have to do that on Wednesday fun. But grateful that I got it done and mom was willing to help me out. Idk what I would have done had she not...

3. GYM just once this week. It all good! Also workout at home just twice. Did just one walk. I wanted 2 but things happened so it was okay. 

4. Church was beautiful last week. We are about a month from more studies womens begins November 19th. I cant wait for twice a week it will be great. Yeah. Anyways. I love church. I love my pastor. I love how he prays for me even if I dont ask he just knows. And prays and cares for me so much. 

5. Wednesday was my favorite day. I went to my good friend's house. It was so awesome. I finally got to see her place and her backyard. Got a tour. Got to pain rocks and chat. It was a nice day off. I would love to go back and paint more rocks. I'm not that creative but I do like doing art stuff now and then sometimes. Why not. So thank you friend it was great. I love my friend so much :)

Thats all for now. This week is busy. And unsure. Its what it is. Have a great week everyone!! God bless you always. :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, October 18th 2020)

Welcome. Today sadly marks 5 years since my sisters cat Maggie left us. I still miss that silly orange cat and it still makes me sad how fast she went and how unsure we will always be what took her!! I'm glad she has a friend in Rainbow and they are up there playing with Princess too. I hope that all our pets are together when we cross to heaven. I wanna see them all one by one. Love you Maggie Pie!

1. My beautiful Rainbow. It has been 1 years since you left me for the other side of here. The bridge wherever you are waiting for me. You left me on the 12th. I had a horrible day. I cried so much my eyes hurt. Begged Jesus to take my grief it was overwhelming me so badly. I wanted to die. I've spent a year not taking care of my diabetes eating whatever I need to get healthy again. Clearly I wont die from that or a broken heart. I am not there yet dear Rainbow. But I will join you soon I am unsure when but soon. So after I cried my eyes out and worshipped God with all my might. I woke up feeling different the next day. I have to believe that Jesus finally took that grief burden off me. My heart is still broken but I have to believe its getting healed now closer each day. I wont ever stop missing my baby girl. I never will :( 

2. School busy busy. We in our stories now till second week of November. So I only go for an hour each time to read stories and talk about them. I dont talk much. Mine is still weeks away. So I just go cause I have to. Yeah. Cant (not) wait for mine on November 5th LOL

3. GYM just once almost twice. Did it on Monday. Also workouts for my arms per norm every other day. That is how we do it. And walks 3 total. Sunday, Tuesday & Thursday. Woohoo!

4. Work is blah! I am over work. I am getting hours but not enough. Yup. I did my therapy once this last week. I wanted to die. She moved my bad shoulder so much it hasn't stopped hurting and now I cant move it as much as I was able to. She kept saying frozen shoulder. But I'm now afraid she hurt me more what if its more than what they saw on the MRI. I am getting an MRI this week I pray so I pray I can afford it well someone can loan me money for it. I need to focus on my shoulder too not just my neck. I did acupuncture twice. I only have 2 more times of that, and 3 more times of therapy. Then what? I dont know! Injection? I dont see pain doctor till November 11th. Plenty of time to figure this out, pray pray pray and do my stretches. God willing I will be done with this thing before years end and get out of this job for real.

5. Church was beautiful on Sunday. It was hard after. I talked to my dear two friends and then I prayed with my pastor for my broken heart. Monday was hard as I said. I love my church. I love them all SO MUCH! I love you all!! Coming up to 3 years soon very soon wow. Love you church :)

That is all for now. Busy week is coming up. But less work and spending that less day with my dear friend. Have a great week. See ya next weekend. Stay safe and stay cool!!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, October 11th 2020)

 Welcome to the 2nd one of these for the month. I feel this month is so busy!! So much going on crazy stuff. How was your week?

1. Work blah. I worked all my shifts cause I had to and I am currently not getting enough hours so I can just not come in unless I need to do that. So far so good this week. Yikes. Anyways. That is what is work. Its stressful and on top of that I am starting to get panic attacks again. Which isn't a good thing :( I began getting them almost 2 weeks ago at work and only at work. So work is the issue. Its not at home its not anywhere else. Its work related. Ugh

2. Church was awesome on Sunday. I love it. Afterwards talking to people. Being prayed over by my friend. I love church. Hard to believe how close we are to being here for 3 years now. Crazy stuff. What a crazy ride 3 years has been for this church and me and this well everyone world especially this year. About a month from doing the women's studies again in person will go on for just 10 weeks. Last year was much longer. We began in October and went till May of this year of course from March to May was on zoom but yeah...

3. School is keeping me on my toes for sure. Last week we turned in our stories on Tuesday. Then Thursday we talked about how our groups work. This week we begin groups. Lucky me being in my group for the second half so I dont gotta show up as early. But I still gotta work. 2 stories per day to talk about. Mine wont be talked about till November 5th. This is gonna go on for a while half way through next month to get through them all. 

4. Gym just once a week again. But still had fun. Got over there on Monday evening. Yes. Plus doing my stuff at home still and walks when I can. Only one walk this week oh well. All good! Love the gym and love my walks too. 

5. So this week I began to do my therapy I did it twice this week and my acupuncture I only did once. So there was that. Next week I have it same but opposite. I have acupuncture twice and therapy once. Due to me trying for an MRI on my shoulder on the 20th I now will have therapy till end of the month. But still have almost two weeks after that to go to the doctor. I'm asking everyone to keep praying for me for my shoulder & neck injuries. This is literally God or nothing. I know God is using the stuff to help me. But its still God healing me. I know my bike accident wasn't my fault anymore then my work injury and the timing sucks as it was so close together when I was treating them but its how it was gonna happen. This year yikes.

Thats all for now. I am off while I write this on a Sunday :) Have a great week! Mine is busy and sad. More about that next time. God bless. Stay safe and stay cool. Heat is coming back again this week ugh.

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, October 4th 2020)

 Welcome to October!! This past week was just an example of my busy month ahead of me. Gulp Gulp. I decided to talk about all that I have gone through this month on a post a few days ago on my facebook. I didnt even include my teeth in that one. I talked lightly just saying all I had done this year or gone through including grief counseling, my work injury and all with that, my bike accident and of course losing my radio show. Top off with everything canceled that I didnt include, my depression and broken heart in the middle of it all I didnt include that either. But I did say what I know is true: God is in control & I am not and that is all I need to know! 3 months left of this year so much left that could go right or wrong BUT GOD...

1. Work I didnt do that much this week. A messed up schedule and a check I will for sure regret I gave up fighting. My result was working 2 times in 1 week. I worked on Saturday of last week, and then on Monday. That was all. I had asked for Wednesday off but got off on top of that Sunday & Friday. I did work on Saturday but thats a new work week, same check. My next check will suck. But hey same time I needed the extra time to work on my paper for school I finally got my story written. For real its done! Crap but done! Yeah! I have something to turn in on Tuesday. I am gonna look it over each day for the next few and see if I want to change it at all before I drop it on there Tuesday before class.

2. Church is beautiful. I love church. The message on Sunday was so gorgeous and so powerful I was crying. I had no idea it was an emotional day for me so I was crying all day. But it was still beautiful and spoke to my heart. My pastor whom I told after was like "that was the Holy Spirit" yes I knew that. When he said that Jesus suffered with us when we suffer I really was crying. Why Jesus. Did you come to die and then suffer with me just so I can know freedom and overcome because you did? Why? I will never fully get it but know that one day I will is about the only thing the only prize I get in the end. So yes I love church :) 

3. Gym did it just once cause we only had time for it once. Oh well! Did it after my MRI on Monday. I love the gym and we got to go back to our original GYM. This is the one right by my church, the sprinter and many places. Up until a few months ago I felt I lived on this corner. I was going to church twice a week, going to the sprinter for school and coming to the gym. We been going to the gym nearer my job but after my MRI this was closer. Was kinda nice and forgot how big this gym is compared to my other one. NO complaints I love the gym no matter which one I go to.

4. This has been a busy week for me. For my work related injury I got MRI on Monday told results on Wednesday when I see doctor. On Tuesday then pushed to Wednesday re check for my tooth and I healing fine so no problems there. Wednesday I had my pain specialist who told me that my MRI showed I have a cervical disc herniated in my right arm (that would be from my bike accident). My neck pain has been coming back full force for the past week plus almost 2 weeks now. After my appointment I went for my first acupuncture he focused on my neck and shoulders. I get 5 more of these. I was told my therapy was not approved but by Thursday that was changed to never mind it is. So I have that next week. This month will be therapy and acupuncture while working, doing school and praying if I should look into another MRI for my shoulder as they approved it after all. Waiting to hear back from them unsure what to do about that... I surely did a good number falling off my bike in July! Ugh

5. The 29th was my grandmas birthday. I was an extra big emotional mess being the first birthday without her and without Rainbow. I was crying hard all day long. So much pain it dripped from me. I want to heal I do but its so hard. We blew bubbles to heaven again not like last year we used a machine but still it was something. I still miss balloons and wish we could do them without hurting the environment. I miss you grandma and I miss you Rainbow.

This week isn't as exciting as last week HAHA. But it still has its perks. Have a great week everyone and a great month. God is still in control and I am still not and that is for sure okay by me. God bless you!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, September 27th 2020)

Welcome to the LAST one of these for the month of September. Kinda weird huh. Time is flying by. Year is coming to a close. And here we are still. You know whats amazing I gotta say this. God isn't up there going I didnt know this was gonna happen. He planned it out & is in TOTAL 100% control. I pray you reader know him cause he wants to know you and loves you unconditionally :) 

1. Work this week yup. I managed to work all they gave me. Sure I worked less cause I asked for a day off and they didnt finish the schedule so I am barely working this coming week. I worked yesterday just 4hours. I didnt work Friday as I requested it off. I worked last Sunday, Monday & Wednesday. Despite having dental work (see below) I still came in. And we had a visit too so good thing. I was mostly doing it because I need the $$ knew the hours shorter next week and have extra bills to pay. Gulp. Here we are. I do need to get a moving on finding a new job for real yo! Also I got my letter saying I am gonna be getting my MRI, my acupuncture and my therapy. God is so good! Soon as I am healed up and done with all that I will be very much ready to start to look for work again. I truly hope I am out before end of year but unsure at this point if I will be.... heres to hoping

2. Dental thingy was on Tuesday and it was 110% horrible. It took 2 shots to numb to pull out the root from the tooth I lost over 5 years ago! :( They stitched me up good and then yesterday the stitch came out which was okay except I started bleeding. And praying and then it stopped thank God! Scary. Now it hurts the gum hurts. This is different pain then what I had day after. Its just no fun. Idk how long it will take to heal. Sucks is now chewing on my other side which I never do using my crown I am barely used to. And anxious I will do something on that side. I have a hole where I lost half a filling they want to do another root canal on that one but I cant afford it at the moment. So I have that hole. And my new crown. And the other crown from 2004 that I worry about. If I could just never chew again I would do that and it would be easier maybe :/ 

3. GYM did it twice. Monday was unsure if we gonna get to keep coming. Our county San Diego was in the red barely and on Tuesday found out we okay. So we came back again only on Friday. I wanted to come Wednesday too but didnt happen :( I love the gym time. I also do my exercises at home for my shoulder and neck. 

4. Church was awesome Sunday. My pastor :) prayed for my tooth thing for Tuesday. And then Thursday I got to go to the last Girl Talk. First me and my friend I love her we did a walk small but nice. Then the study and had root beer floats. Was fun. Idk know how it will work when begin the virtue stuff but that wont be till a month from now...oh boy. Love my church family :) 

5. School is going okay. I am still doing ZOOM just like before. I do need to work on my short story its due in a week on the 6th coming up fast. Gulp Gulp. So that will be my main project this week especially since I am not working as much. Ugh. What have I got myself into?

Well that is all for now. Have a great week. See you all in October. Stay cool Stay safe and have fun :) God bless!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, September 20th 2020)

We are now 3 months till my next birthday. I wonder if it will be better or worse when I turn another year. Last year I turned the big 40. And I had the best day ever! I simply did have a great birthday that I cannot top. But shall see. At this point I will be just be glad for going to church (its on a Sunday MY FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK), dinner out at my favorite restaurant and maybe something else simple. I am keeping it simple. As I should...

1. Work has been blah. But somehow I made it through all my days and called out NONE of them. Um go me? I wanted to for sure I am not joking on that one but I did work them all every single one of them. Work is crazy. We dont count any more, we clean carts and people still gotta go out the right doors and in them. Masks are still a thing but not as important. I'm kinda confused and kinda over being stressed at work again for other reasons. I actually miss counting which is what got me my injury so that is a major catch 22

2. I finally thank God have my appoint for my MRI for my neck injury! Hurray! I called on Thursday and then again on Friday to set that up. About a week away. Gulp. MRI's are weird. Maybe I should be music. I haven't done one since 1999... also on Tuesday I got my final crown on. God is so good. Sure it included work and drilling ugh but its on. And feels funny and is annoying. But its done. Now onto my next dental adventure this coming week. Cant wait NOT REALLY!

3. GYM did it just once on Monday. I'm kinda sad if they close them again next week due to our numbers going up :( I was just getting used to going. Even if I am tired. I love going. And it totally helps my arms and shoulders and such doing that machine like my therapy place did. Oh please dont close 

4. School is going okay. I really gotta work on my story its due in 2 weeks 8 to 10 pages and I have an idea just gotta work on it and develop it out and work it out. So I need to work on that on top of all else. I went to both of my ZOOM's again which is a go me I guess. So there is that. School is school. I do miss my DJ stuff I miss in person too!

5. Thursday instead of doing the Bible study I went for my sisters birthday she turned 34. My youngest sister will forever be 2. But alas she is getting older like us all. We got food at the hot dog place lol ate by the harbor with bubbles and such. And ice cream at DQ. Fun time. Love you little sis!

BONUS ROUND

6. Its been 9 years since we moved from Arizona to California. I stopped questioning the why's years ago. But I do wonder. Still I know God had a plan to get us home. And here we are. But I do miss AZ and I still miss TN. I will never regret moving away from home for 4 years it was for sure a good thing and I am sure it was all meant to be thank you God

Have a great week everyone. Mine will be busy busy. Be cool. Our weather is cool then hot then cool so confusing. God bless you always!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, September 13th 2020)

 Welcome. What a week! Did a lot and got a lot done and didnt do enough. But hey. And it ended on some cool notes. Sure why not. Btw I miss Rainbow so much. I will never stop missing her. Somehow this year the 12th of this month a month till a year since she got landed on a Saturday the same date she died on. I just asked for the 12th of October off next month. I can't see me working on that date a year later. No plans for now. Idk what but hey I got it off just wait for it to be approved.

1. Work is BLAH! I worked most of my shifts. I did call out on Sunday last week for my 4hr shift. Oh well. I just felt like calling out. Starting next month gotta be careful cant believe we doing points again at work which is just plain stupid since the virus is clearly not gone and now if you are sick its gonna be harder to call out :( Monday, Wednesday and Saturday were okay days at work. I had Friday off so there is that...

2. Friday we went and celebrated late my dads birthday. Well first on Monday we celebrated at Outback Steak House. We sat inside! Most like to sit outside but we can sit inside so we did that. Yum! Friday we celebrated dads birthday and Mistys upcoming one. So all in 1! We went to San Diego for a bit then road on the Seal Tour bus/boat. Its a bus that goes in the water then its a boat and we saw some seals. And some other birds. And learned a bunch of cool crap. It was a fun time. Not bad. And we did it WITH Misty who actually rode the bus and made no fuss at all thank God. She had fun we had fun. All good :)

3. Did the GYM twice this past week. Sunday when I didnt. And Wednesday as well. I love the gym!! Sure instead of riding the bike I ride the arm machine haha. But hope it helps my arms. At home I do my workouts at least every other day for my shoulder and neck. I went on a walk again too. Cried my eyes out I still miss Rainbow SO MUCH! That is it for workouts this week. But no complaints. Wasn't too long ago we had stuff at home or nothing at all...

4. School is going okay. I managed to attend both ZOOM classes this week. Um go me. Last two weeks I skipped Tuesdays while going to Thursdays. So this is week 3. I now have 1 class and maybe a fast track in October shall see. I am TRYING so hard to keep this class and not bail on it. SO far doing ZOOM for school isn't the same but not bad either. Sure I can get distracted so easily and not put video feed up and do what I want if I am bored. Not saying I do that but I can LOL. 

5. Church was awesome on Sunday. We started the book of revelation and I haven't studied this since my JUNIOR YEAR of high school so that would be um 96 or 97. I love when my pastor teaches so I am super happy after 3 weeks of taking a break for guest speakers we have him back on the stage. Inside so it was cooler after it hit 104* while we inside church. UGH! Thursday we did this thing called Girl Talk. It happened in July originally. Last year we did it in person I went to 1 session there are 3 total. I was gonna this year before all this do all 3 but they got canceled like that. So we viewed it with some gals from our church about 14 of us in the house. Had fun. Watched that. Discussed after. I am not coming back next week cause its Mistys birthday. But if I can I will come back for the 3rd one. I love this though. I looked around the room. Earlier that day I had gotten nervous about coming over there just cause I haven't done anything like this since March and not at a house since last Summer 2019. I looked around so grateful for getting to spend time with ladies who love me. Who care about me. Who know me and still love me. I didnt have this two years ago. I didnt have this three years ago. In fact 3 years ago I didnt even have my church. God is so good. Its why I thank God every day because He is so good. We tend to in life look at the bad so often outlooking the good. But the good should be first. Look at the good realize how blessed you are and then you can be like well GOOD all the time with some bad is it really that bad? Not really. Truly not.

Well this week is busy and so fourth. Shall be. Not gonna be as hot. And thanks to the fires its been cooler but hazy weather too. Went to the beach last night (Saturday) for like 15 minutes after getting ice cream after a long weird day at work. So glad to be done with it. Have a good week everyone. Stay safe. And God Bless!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, September 6th 2020)

 Welcome to September. And what A HEAT WAVE WE ARE HAVING!!!! Extremely hot weekend here as we approach Labor Day (Tomorrow).  I want to say I think this is the hottest but I am unsure if this heat is going away. Heat is not a good thing this time of year in our dry state so fires have been happening and continue :( Go away heat! 

1. Work this week blah. I worked all my shifts this week. It was not easy. I worked my first week back after a week off. That was fun I hate working so there is that. My manager left like for good on Sunday for another store so sad!!! Wednesday I rushed out of work an hour early to get to my pain specialist appointment. Life is weird I swear. My pain doctor wants me to get an MRI, therapy and acupuncture he is not satisfied with my neck not being better. Well neither am I. I might add I am getting better much better. It still hurts all the time though but not like before! Now we await approval for my next things...Thursday the next day I found out my MRI is denied for my shoulder. So now I have nothing left but keep doing what I am doing. I am a freaking mess :( 

2. Did the GYM for the first time since March. What a fun time that was! Sure its a bit odd. But only have to wear the masks going in and out not on machines. The workout was tiring. I woke up yesterday very sore. But it was fun. I love it! I missed it! I cant wait to go back! At home I am doing my workouts for my arm and neck so there is that. But not much else no walks this week I wasn't home enough to do it

3. Tuesday we went to the Safari Park it was a fun time. Sure again with the mask. But hey. Didnt get to do all we wanted to. But we got to do some stuff which was awesome :) Thursday after my class we went to the beach for a few hours. I thought it wasn't enough time but it was for sure enough time. A few hours. Got tired but yeah.

4. School is interesting. I am only keeping my one English class. I honestly wanted to keep the second one but I cant seem to find even an hour where I have enough energy to actually concentrate on the homework. So I will be dropping it. Oh well nice try! Sorry class to see you go! But the other class I'm getting used to doing it on zoom. Here I hated zoom when I on with people from church that I love and care for but here its like who are you. Lol. Life is weird

5. Now that its September I cant forget what we were doing this time of year 9 years ago. Its more shocking its been that long. We had to pack up and move to California in a very short week well like 10 days. The most stress ever thanks. But we did it. I dont question why. I used to but now I am just like God wanted us here. God is in control and Gods ways not mine. Miss you Arizona!!

With church now gym back I still miss my radio show. It almost feels like life is semi normal again. Now if I could just go back to djing and my sister to getting a job. Yeah then we would be set. We close I think we are! Have a good week. I hope it cools down. Not as busy but I am up for anything that happens or doesn't. 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, August 30th 2020)

 Welcome to the last one of these for this month. Crazy. How time flies when you dont even notice then its gone just like that. Good news is our area can once again open up indoor stuff as of tomorrow cause thats is how our COVID numbers are doing. How long for? Idk. I'm over this all this. But change is good I hope it sticks this time around!! Off work this week so I had a nice week of NOT working trust me its very hard to go back today :(

1. Church was awesome. Still having our guest speakers. One more week of this next week. I love my little church. I love it so much. Even in the heat when we dying and having to move cause the sun got us. Even when I have to work. The more people that come back that I dont see anymore the more happy I am. That is an answer to prayer :) 

2. I went on two weeks this week bravely I am slowly doing this. Its nice. I walk. I talk to Jesus and then I am silent. Sure half the time I am crying and that is when I am emotional. I hate dodging people on the streets like I am some criminal so hard to respect their space. At times idk if they are dodging me because I am dodging them or they like me dont know how to act around each other. Specially since we dont wear masks usually thats rare not when walking around. 

3. Camping was BEAUTIFUL this week! We got a late start. Lost our campgrounds and found them. And ended up putting up the tent in the dark. Well the tent was up but he air mattresses not so much. No fire pit till night two but I am kinda glad cause it kinda scared me I thought we gonna burn down the forest. Our first night we settled in and fell asleep quickly eating sandwiches we had brought along for dinner. Our only full day we got up a bit later then planned. Walked around and later visited a lake that was our only water chance and it was not for swimming. Camp fire later was scary like I said. LOL. Both nights we had raccoons visit us the first night my sister thought a monsters was out there and had me freaked out but it was just a raccoon or two and more the next night. Haha. Wednesday before we left we did a hike at the end of our camp grounds very steep hill we only got so far and then came back exhausted. Left a bit late. Things happened. So we didnt really shower till we got home. That took much longer then planned. I miss camping. The stars are so beautiful, the wild life mainly the squirrels and the birds so awesome. I miss it all. But alas had to return home again...

4. Went to Coronado on Friday. It was a nice trip. We at the beach for 3 hours then got our food, food for the family and ice cream before coming home super late. Ugh on the late. But it was my last fun for my vacation. 

5. School has begun. I missed Tuesday but began on Thursday. Online I am doing an English creative writing class. Also another class not on zoom. Zoom for class is very weird. Mind you I will get used to it taking over my life twice a week. But I am gonna try to keep doing it. Shall see if I can without losing my mind. Haha. I dont like zoom

that is all. Back to work this week. Plus my pain specialist. My sister got a job so she has that finally. And maybe the dentist we shall see on that last one.... till next weekend and September have a great week. Stay cool. Finally cooling down for us hurray :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, August 23rd 2020)

This is gonna be a GOOD week to talk about! But thats for next weekend. How you all doing? One more of these for this month this year is now speeding on by. Nothing is normal so it doesn't feel like it but time has this way of passing even when we dont care to notice it is...

1. HEAT WAVE is my first one cause its what we in right now. Some Summers we get nothing its not bad this year is a HEAT WAVE! I dont like it. I dont like all the fires burning up front. I dont like that its not going away. I hate this heat. Summer is great for the beach. Summer isn't great for the heat waves. Its especially hard right now at work and of course at home. We cant even go to the pool like we did last year. We have the ocean but thats not all the time although I wish it was. And the masks with the heat is almost unbearable ugh heat and masks :(

2. Church was beautiful last weekend! We began our Summer book series 3 weeks of this. Had a nice guest speaker. It was sure hot out there. I went to work after drenched in my own sweat and had to find a way to cool down major before I began my shift. So yuck. But church so yes! I love church!

3. Work blah! I worked my full shifts this week I had 5 I worked 5! I am so glad to be done with work its been a heck of a week especially in this heat with these masks. (See #1 for that one). I had my last therapy session too this week on Tuesday they only do 6 at a time. While I am improving both my neck and shoulder I am not healed yet. And no idea what my future holds. God knows God is in control I am not. So I wont know anything till after my pain specialist in 2 weeks on the 2nd of September ugh. 

4. Thursday I went in to get my final crown on my tooth from 2 weeks before. I have had 3 different work done on it. Two parts of the root canal and then my crown extension thing. Well 2 weeks wasn't enough to heal my tooth it for sure is not healed. And they weird dentist acted like I had chosen to come back in 2 weeks they should have told me this 2 weeks ago. Now I am stuck for FOUR MORE WEEKS with my temporary crown on my tooth :( Same day as that I had my phone appointment for my shoulder for my X-rays. Well the doctor wants to order an MRI. My shoulder IS getting better. I dont know if I can afford an MRI I really cant afford anything right now. I'm not made out of money and I dont work as much as I used to either. Unsure what will happen. I know I am healing but its slow process. We are heading to 4 weeks since my accident this coming Wednesday. God please heal me. I for sure cant do surgery if it is a tear.  Sigh

5. Beach days we did two. On Tuesday we went after we got back home we went to the small beach by us. Not a bad trip. Had fun even if it windy at first we did swim some, walked some, and then sat some. Then Friday after work my sister got me we went for like 2 hrs same beach as before. Didnt swim as much but did have fun still. Tried tacos after at their little food place that we have never tried and I guess they only as of now do them on Friday nights. So there was that. Fun time!

This week begins my vacation. Including 3 days of camping, possibly beach trip and unsure on some of the other days. I also want to even in the heat clean cause I never can and just relax. No worries No work No masks No crazies. Praying for a new job soon I am trying applied last week might have something this week. And unsure not sure yet on that MRI. Me and medical things this year not the best time! Have a great week see you next week. I might enjoy this week so much I might not want to go back to work ;) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, August 16th 2020)

 Welcome to this on this hot hot weekend! Wow! Guess Summer has arrived for our area. We have no a/c at home so I am dying when I am here but who says its any cooler where else I go... just saying

1. Work this week blah! I worked all my shifts this week called out for none. I was also scheduled less. So I only worked 4 days this week. Next week is my vacation so I am getting closer. I am down to 5 more days of work before I have a week off. I AM SO EXCITED!!!!! Work is stressful for all kinds of reasons. All of them everything between. Life in general. I have begun to finally start trying to leave I applied to one job so far. One down a million to go. Just gotta stay motivated and keep going and not give up

2. Did my therapy chiropractor twice again. I found out that I will only have 1 more session. That is how they do it. 6 and then done unless more ordered. Lame if you ask me. I enjoy going and its helping my shoulder and neck so much. My neck doesn't hurt as much and my shoulder although not work related is getting better. God is healing me. Slow but sure I am getting there. That is a good thing. I will not going to this every week :( 

3. The 12th marked 10 months since Rainbow died. I stopped making my Saturdays only for Rainbow and now I will only recall her on the date she died. I will never stop missing her. I am still being healed of this. I miss her still so much my little baby girl. I wish she was home with me. I wish she was home here with me where she belongs. I have to believe I will see her again. I have to believe that she is waiting for me. Its the only thing getting me by is that promise... my baby :(

4. Beach day!! Went to the beach on Friday and it was nice. A bit crowded. We went later so we didnt get sunburnt and still got sleep before. Only stayed about 2.5 hours but it was a blast. I had to be careful with my bad shoulder to not hurt myself so I couldn't swim much and the few times the waves knocked me over it hurt me a bit to swim and get up again. So that is why I being so careful. Hopeful for another beach day soon

5. Church is beautiful. I love my church. I love going on in person. I love it so much. God is so good. Sunday is my favorite day of the week. I pray we back in the building again before our rainy season begins. But for now outside is fine. I just get a bit sunburnt sometimes after talking to everyone. But I love chatting and such. No complaints at all from me. None.

thats all. Sorry I got this up late last week. I got it up on time but the stupid new HTML thing got me and I couldn't share it to my facebook page like I usually do for several extra days. Hope this works right the first time. See you next weekend when my week off begins

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, August 9th 2020)

Welcome to this week! I had such a busy week I do not know how I got by but boy did I! Work and such was not the only thing keeping me busy. How was your week? 

1. My parents celebrate their 42nd Anniversary on Wednesday. Much like things that we lost this year we lost our boat ride. We wanted to do it SO BAD but my handicap sister would not been a good addition to the boat ride that we have been doing for at least 5 years now! My youngest sister is normally at school but cause there is no school she is home and we skipped it. Instead while they had fun on Catalina Island a differnet kinda boat road. I went to the dentist for my crown lengthening mini operation. It was very short btw they said 45 minutes to 1 hour it lasted about 30 minutes. I know because I only got through 3 songs on my ipod and they each about 5 minutes. Maybe it was 20 minutes but I wasnt counting the numbing before or the cleaning up after. I was given a page and a half of instructions, told some of them in person, 3 different medicines (1 of which I already have NO MORE 800 MG IBOPROFEIN PLEASE!!) and sent on my way. With my parents gone I tried to help with my sister best I could. But mostly i laid on the couch half asleep drugged as much as i could icing my poor face. That was how my Wednesday went. 

2. Thursday marked 12 years since my hamster Tinkerbell died. She died the day after my parents anniversary much like the near tradition of family and pets that die on or around birthdays, anniversarys or even holidays. She was only 1.5 years old when she died. I loved having a hamster she was for sure a good idea even if short lived. Miss you Tink!! 

3. Chiropractor this week was 2 times. I am still unsure if I am doing therapy or what I am doing. My sister keeps saying this is therapy. Well I go and get work done and work on stuff. The guy is also kinda doing therapy on my bad shoulder. Which btw I got xray done before my 2nd one for the week results pending for that one. Fun stuff what a week 

4. Church great wonderful! I love church. My pastor prayed for me for my accident for healing and he also prayed for my dental. And if that wasnt enough and it was plenty he prayed all day for my procedure he knew I was freaking out the day before because I was till I gave it to God and He gave me peace. I just need to stop acting like I got my act together and just come to God lay it down ask for Peace sit still and wait. So far the pain has been okay. And not what I expected at all. I am still healing from my accident last week doing my best. ZOOM our last one. Oh please God say Virtue wont be online only. We are about a month away from doing our womens bible study. Hard to believe we rounded out to a year since I dedicated myself to Thursdays without knowing what I was doing. God dropped me in my GOOD friends group and I have only gotten closer to her since then. God is always in control. 

5. Work blah. Our changing to 10pm what on earth???? I hate this I wanted us to stay open till 830 life was so much easier when I free to go by 9pm. Now i will be stuck at work when I close till after 10pm. Home later too :( I did work most of my shifts they gave me Wednesday off then I called out Friday. Then a manager took me off the schedule. I am still unsure if I called out even counted. But I did work Saturday and will 2 more days till free till Wednesday. 

 Well that was my busy busy week. This one is busy but not AS busy as that. Plus less hours at work. Have a good week. See you next week!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, August 2nd 2020)

Hey all! Welcome to August. My last week was a bit bumpy and for sure a way to say good bye July!! I still am sad all we lost this month including Comic Con :( better luck next year to all! I know we can watch it online but its not the same thing!!

1. Work this week. I didnt work a lot but I only called out once too. Oh well. I worked Sunday, Monday and then I was off for 3 days. I called out Friday but I did work Saturday. Work is work. Same old same old. Same old me up front but sometimes not. When I am not up front I dont hurt myself. Last weekend thank God for miracles. I spent both Saturday and Monday hardly up front and only up front 2 hours on Sunday. So my neck wasn't as sore when I went to the doctor on Tuesday. That made me happy. Less pain is more gain.

2. Church was awesome on Sunday. Sure we still outside and I got sunburnt after. Sure I didnt get to see everyone I wanted to. But I did see people and I love church. I dont complain about it. Even if its outside. I pray we inside again soon. God is in control for sure not this governor nor this world. Just God 100% ZOOM on Thursday was okay. I was in pain from my accident (see below) but I still showed up. Just one more to go. Please say the Fall one will not be on zoom. I am still debating if I will be doing a class or two using Zoom since there are no in person classes at all for my school till Spring (we hope!)

3. Tuesday was the doctor again. But cause I have a pain specialist I wont see anyone doctor related till him in 2 weeks. Thursday I had my first chiropractor I didnt know what to expect. It was only half chiropractor and half therapy actually. I come back again next week. I am a bit confused. I am only scheduled till the 18th twice a week but I am okay till end of August. Maybe they are gonna reevaluate me after the 18th I am unsure. Either way I am set up for my stuff.

4. This year is just shaping up to be crappy. Right and left they keep canceling stuff. I hate this virus so much. I still do. It has taken so much from us and it will continue. However the fact I have church still and a job even if I hate it well thats a good thing. I need to be more positive and less negative. But I wont stop saying I hate this virus cause I truly do :(

5. After work Monday we skipped our bike ride to do it on Wednesday instead of the Safari Park. I wonder if we had just gone on Monday how much different it would be for me right now. Things do change. So there you go. Wednesday we had a bike ride instead and well things got a bit messy. We left at 5:10 not 5 or 4:45 was our goal. It would take us 1.5 hours to get to the harbor and another 1.5 hours to get back. We were leaving extra early so we had time to go to the beach for a minute even taking towels and sandals thinking we could maybe dip our feet in the ocean. We made the harbor just fine but it was getting dark time we got done. We never made the beach. The hill dip back onto the path that runs under the railroad bridge is very steep. I have not rode it since 2007. I recall I used to be afraid of the dip and pray the whole way down that I would survive it. Well I wasn't thinking straight when I dipped down. My sister was way far off I was trying to catch up and I forgot how hard you have to brake as you drop. It gets blurry from here on out. I just know that I flew off my bike landing on my helmet (which cut my head and a gave me a big bruise) then I landed on my left hand. I think when I hit my head I got knocked out as I dont recall the rest. I landed on my right side badly. I cut my elbow and my knee they both look equally gross. I have 2 more bruises. So my face has 4 cuts too and I think I bit down on my lip inside it looks gross still. I broke my glasses, ripped my gloves. Trust me I really ruined it all but simply falling off my bike. God kept me safe I could have died. But I didnt. Now my poor right shoulder is bruised and sore I think a sprain. Either way trying to get an X-ray of it next week praying for healing. What a way to end my month.

this week is gonna be busy and this month too. Crazy. We have plans and such but lots of different appointments for different things. Probably my most busiest month yet. Have a good week. God bless you all!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, July 26th 2020)

Last one of these for July. What a month it has been! Up and down with this virus, closings, etc. On top of my injury and then teeth issues. Who can keep up? Not me for sure not me! I'm still bummed out we never got to go back once to our gym :( I am also still sad about comic con we should have been there sometime this weekend!!

1. Church was awesome last week. Even if outside and it got a bit hot. I was so grateful to be back with my church family my family we are all family! I love my church love love love them. God is so good. So we got church. And after I got prayers for my up coming dental procedure that I was not looking forward to :( But yes church good. ZOOM I did it as no video so I could lay down from teeth pain and neck pain. But I did ZOOM. Hard to believe just two to go. The Fall one begins in what September? Please oh please say we will be back at church. I am unsure if I can do any classes in the fall for school little alone church again on ZOOM. I do not like ZOOM no offense for those who love it. Sure its nice to connect but NOT the same thing as being in person NOT THE SAME THING! Online is not the same thing.

2. Did a bike ride on Monday a bit up the trail had fun. Went farther then planned. The thing is we didnt go that far and last week we totally skipped it. This was my only workout I dont workout anymore. Sometimes I ride the bike at home for 10 or 15 minutes. Then this. I miss Zumba and wiifit. I cant even do that anymore due to my injury. It sucks tbh it truly does.

3. Wednesday had my dental procedure my root canal. I was freaking out. But I prayed I had many praying. I got to listen to Christian music during it. I was still a bit nervous but it was over faster then I thought about 45 minutes if that. Most of the work was done on Friday. In 2 weeks I come back for the crown extension now that is gonna be a different kinda thing and will be more scary more painful and I will be awake for it. UGH. Just trusting God who is allowing this to go on to make it okay he promises me that much. God get me through this. Thankfully for my neck and my teeth I had 4 days off. Well 3 and I called out on Wednesday night due to that being day of my root canal. I will be using PTO for that I cant afford to just call out all the time anymore.

4. Work blah. I worked a bit but not much. I worked on Sunday, Monday but it was a bad 3 days in a row. I had hurt myself every single day. By Monday I wanted to just never come back. The pain was everywhere. Nothing helping. Pain on top of pain. And my teeth hurting too. I worked on Saturday I was off Friday called out Wednesday. So I was off 4 days back again yesterday on Saturday. Thankful this is only another three in a row.

5. God is working in this. A month ago I felt God tell me "It will be okay" at the time I was unsure if it meant me filing for a workmenscomp or the whole thing that was going on. But even though its taken time and me learning patience and a lot of trials because I felt and keep feeling like a lot of people dont care about me. I still have many that care about me. And God most important does. So after my doctor visit Tuesday I was unsure what happening. I was told check back Wednesday which I did and then again on Thursday. I was all set to keep fighting nd calling only to be told that I am cleared for getting my chiropractor done. I begin next week. It will last till end of August. And I have a pain management appointment on the 12th. August will be a busy busy month. But God willing I will be whole again. He doesn't even need this. He can heal me I pray He does. I am unsure how but I know He will heal me. I am also gonna begin to look for another job. I cant be at this job that hurt me. I am unsure how this will work once I began treatment while working. But you know what all I need is trust. Trust God pray be okay. Yes be okay.

Well have a good week. Enjoy the last of the month. Stay cool. God bless. See ya July!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, July 19th 2020)

It has not been another good week. Another bad week. Another UGH week! Ugh Ugh Ugh. I'm over all this. Over it all!

1. Sunday our church had to be online again. It was very temporary although our governor is so insane he would like it to be forever! So after I went to church online and cried cause I always cry when I cant go to church. I had called out from work as I had been hurt again at work on Saturday. So my pastor whom I love so much! He let me talk to him on the phone. I was trying to tell him all the crap I had gone through last week. Honestly he gave me advice but I truly just wanted to be heard and in person but I only had phone and he let me do that. Thank you Pastor!!! Later after I had slept some my sister and me went to get stuff at dunkin donuts haven't in a while and yes we snuck to the beach for like 10 minutes it was getting dark. Some bugs loved me and I got two bug bites :( but it was a nice day. I am still trying to take it easy. Zoom on Thursday was okay. I was feeling like crap due to pains in my jaw plus my neck was hurting. So yeah I went but I am unsure about this week because of it being day after my well you will see below...

2. I worked this week but not a lot. I called out on Sunday, I called out on Wednesday. I did work Monday. Then I called out again on Friday. Up until my call out on Friday it had been about pains from my neck. No joke. But Friday my call out was related to my teeth. More below. Either way. I had a lot of call outs. Thank God they are not counting points against us! I am not btw just calling out for fun. I cant afford to call out all the time. I honestly do love I can call out and not get it against me because with this injury I NEED that ability. So I am thankful for it! Ugh work. And more stress on Monday that had me freaking out. I chose to not say more for now. But trust me I was freaking out. This virus and work and well that is all I will say.

3. Tuesday was like my pointless doctor visit. It was even more pointless when they thought I was getting treated realized I wasn't and kept me there longer to try to call and got no where. Then I went and talked to the chiropractor and they also got no where. Now THREE People are calling about this whole thing. This is just wrong to make me keep coming and not being treated. I want to cry. I feel like they are never gonna take me seriously not work not them not the place refusing to help me. NOONE IS HELPING ME! I feel so helpless. I am in pain I am suffering I just want to get better again. :( Thursday I found out that they claim no paperwork has been sent to them. What are they talking about? OF COURSE THE DOCTOR SENT THEM PAPERWORK!!!!

4. Thursday was the day after my sisters dental issue. She went in on Monday. Then she had to go back on Wednesday for a root canal. A two part root canal so weird. Then Thursday as she is healing up I get my own teeth issues. My jaw swollen and aching so bad nothing helping getting worse. I had to call out for Friday and go in. Now I have two more appointments. I have to do the second half of my root canal on Wednesday. Then another week away do a gross more scary procedure. I know God has got this but I am freaking out. :(

5. Its been 10 years since we moved into our apartment in Arizona. 10 years since we last saw Tennessee. I miss our souther state. I also miss Arizona. Even hot as it was I miss it all. Moving in was insane. Bugs that followed us from TN in the truck well that was a fun time. Lost a chair too had to throw it away. Ugh. I hate those bugs HATE THEM! I dont care how long ago we last saw them. I hate them so much. I miss our apartment. Arizona had this feel to it I will never forget. Yeah I miss you AZ and TN too

Well that was a week. This next week with less hours and more to come is promising to be another crazy one. Have a good week everyone. God bless you!! :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, July 12th 2020)

Ontime today to the whole thing! Good job! Go Me! Pat self on back. This week hasn't been kind. But here we go...

1. Work this week was OKAY. I somehow made it through my whole 4 day last weekend and half of it was in pain. I was in pain last Sunday and last Monday. Monday being the worse of the two. Lots of prayers and medicine. And I got by. I just try to avoid the front of the store. But I have to be up there sometime which is what sucks. I was off on Friday a bonus day (more below). I only worked 4 days this week. I need a new job I still do! I cant afford to not work while doing this. But working is killing me. I am grateful in two weeks (not this coming week which began yesterday) I will be on 4 days a week. I can make it work. I just cant make not working work or being paid to not work which isn't that great.

2. Church was awesome last week on the 5th! I loved the service. I love my sister coming still. I loved so much love and support from my friends especially in my time of need (meaning now). I love my church. I am still grateful every Sunday we are in person being online for 3 months was nearly torture for me. Idk what I will do if we ever have to go back to that for even one Sunday :( I did skip ZOOM as I was in pain (more below) too much. Sorry guys! I will be back this week I promise.

3. Workouts since I am still injured I shouldn't even be doing a bike ride but I did a small one. I got off work late on Monday as I will this coming week I in now. So we only rode a bit. I was in pain all day so I took medicine and toughed it out. And did I regret it just a bit. I was still very much in pain even just riding a little bit. Ugh. Pain. But I do love to ride.

4. Friday was my day off I was supposed to be off for my sister camping so she couldn't pick me up from work. But she had to put that on next week (and guess who is working that one). So we planned either Safari Park OR Coronado Island. We picked Coronado. Got a late start. Not used to all this fun with COVID19. We got there late and due to this virus Which Wich our fav sandwich shop we visit after we do the beach closes at 6PM it was like 4 when I found this out. So we basically got 45min in the water and then had to book it there. But it was a fun time. Two things. Dolphins showed up very close to shore I LOVE DOLPHINS STILL! God knows how to make me smile. They got so close then off they went. The second thing is 3 seagulls had a bag of empty Doritos they stole and my sister got it from them in the ocean. She got farther and farther off but for their safety got it away. Go to her! LOL! After we went to get our food and got coffee too. Then ate some outside. Walked around the hotel and came home. Fun trip a bit shorter and MAYBE go back next month shall see. I am so over the virus. Oh and my face mask broke while I at the beach so I had to tie one end to my mask my ear the glasses to go get food after and then the store :/

5. I left my pain issue till last I wish I could just leave my pain behind me. I dont get why I am going through this. I'm sorry! I know we all get trials but I feel like this whole year is one big trial. Why this. Why am I hurt at this job now why. I have no idea what is going on. I feel like they think I'm faking this whole thing. It began 3 weeks ago. But because I never said anything in May when it began this whole issue came up. Like I knew a few days of pain in my neck here and there would turn into this. A strained muscle and a pinched nerve. I am still unsure on the second one. I'm unsure how much I want to write online. Just know this: I am fighting so hard for this. For help. For a job that broke me. For a job I was unsure I wanted to keep and now I feel like I'm stuck at. God why?? This pain makes me feel so alone. I just feel broken literally. I already had pains mind you. I have PCOS I have diabetes. 3 years go I was dealing with the PCOS and pains with it. I still am unsure what all the pains were. I had others too. I was taken into a trial when I first came back. Now I feel like why now. I have lost so much this year. And I hold so tight to these things. God keeps telling me let go. Let go of my radio class and now I am a bit more peaceful. Saturday He nudged me again to let go of this issue. I was holding too tight. Now still peace but still I worry. I am like a kid with a broken toy. God you are taking too long why. Why wont He just heal me. I'm sorry. I feel selfish. Others are suffering dying this virus anything. And I'm upset about my pain. I guess making it valid while feeling like its not. Its this between for pain I will never fully grasp while using it. We all have pain. We all do. Some more than others. Its okay to feel that pain! I need to give myself permission to have pain and deal with it. Why cant I just do that. Its okay I have this new pain. It could be temporary but deep within I feel like as I dont get help it will get worse and worse. I'm not young I'm not old. And I am not making this up. I dont complain about any injury at work. I have had injuries slight here and there. My last real one was babies r us when I hurt my shoulder in like 2016 I think ? I never told them. I actually hurt myself picking up a heavy box and pulled my shoulder out of place and did something. I fixed it I got a sling online I got it done. I wasn't praying back then but I believe God still works even when we dont pray. And it got better! Sure it took a few weeks. I never said a word. I suffered I got better. But this is too much for me. :( Okay I am gonna stop now I dont usually write so much on this and its long. Sorry!

Okay week. Ended bad. Have a good one next week! God bless you!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, July 5th 2020)

Welcome to July! June flew by and to be honest with so much canceled I still dont know truly if it feels like Summer feels like it. It might if I think about it. But truly it doesn't. June we didnt do the fair. This month we dont do Comic Con. Little things we always did that connected the dots of the Summer season. As this progresses and God willing it wont but it might cause it could. We are gonna have a weird rest of this year. Just saying. Unexpected out of control go with the flow.

1. Work this week well I did skip again twice. I skipped on Sunday so a week ago. I had planned it out and I did it. I was glad I had chosen to do so. I was at church feeling extremely dizzy at the end there. NO matter what happens I feel like I have a pinched nerve. So I skipped Sunday. Monday I showed up and I had all these people praying for me. My manager was actually not only there but like right there. She literally walked into the restroom as I leaving so I waited for her to come out and talked to her. I know that was an odd thing to do but it was what I had to do. We set up a claim and she took me to the doctor. So I spent the first near 4 hours of my shift at the doctor and talking to her. I had to come back cause the doctor who saw me was being unfun. So I worked the last few hours of my shift mostly avoiding the front and talking to my co workers about this. Wednesday I called out because I felt bad again I was in pain. I went to my doctor visit but my chiropractor never happened I wasted several hours down there for that. I did work the next few days I was scheduled. I am trying to not skip again but when the pain comes up I just need to. I hate it. Cause I cant afford to not work but I need to not work. So it like what do I do I skip. Our points aren't being counted but still it hurts me personally I have to have money I need to pay bills and such. I need a way to get better and be paid. I am unsure what that is to be.

2. Workouts due to my injury I am putting Zumba and wii fit sadly on hold! I do ride the stationary bike almost every day still a bit. This past week we did a longer bike ride towards the beach. Only rode 2 hours. Some people have said I shouldn't be riding a bike while injured so I am unsure how much I will do till I am better. But yeah it was a nice ride. Getting to the beach will take more time and more energy. We did it during the afternoon on Tuesday not the evening on Monday.

3. Church Sunday was awesome. All the love every week! Zoom was okay on Thursday. When I got to that I was really tired and sore from the Zoo we had done the day. So I didnt really want to do the meeting. I did it but not really wanted to. And not everyone showed up either so there is that...

4. So we did the Zoo on Thursday. We got down there at 9:30 they opened at 9 but were told to come down early cause they keep track of amounts in. It was a long weird day. Very hot out. Wearing masks. Not able to ride the bus or cable car. We had fun saw some of what we wanted. But it was exhausting same time. Probably only time we doing the zoo this summer is that. Oh well! Saturday was the 4th of July. Usually we go down to San Clemente and watch fireworks at the beach. I MISS IT SO MUCH! It didnt get canceled just moved. Wouldn't have mattered as our lovely governor shut down beaches for the weekend. It got moved to a stadium and they didnt let us see it up close it was blocked. Found a parking lot that faced the stadium and watched from there with some other people. So it was different. No music behind no beach but one of our few shows. The only one was closer to home but we chose this one. No Denny's after. Just came back and had burgers my dad had made. Weird 4th of July for sure!

5. The 3rd marked 16 years since my job at Barnes & Noble closed their doors. I will never forget B&N. It was my first retail job after my lawsuit and knee issues from end of 1998 till nearly end of 1999. I got the job same time as I went back to Vanguard. Then spent the 4 years I in school working there. I was planning to go full time and work on saving so I could move to Los Angeles and fulfill my dream of being a journalist. Was around April or May that I was the last to find out we closing our doors in July. I then spent 3 weeks after our last opening day on the 3rd helping to close down our store. Since we not going out of business just closing we had to send our books most of them except the paperbacks to either the publishers or sometimes other stores. We boxed up crap and threw stuff out. I gained a bunch of free magazines and books (a lot with no covers). My favorite was a picture that I have no idea where it is now of curious George that had been hanging by our bathroom. Last year we randomly visited the mall on our way to downtown Disney (or was it 2 years ago?) and found out they have since then after several stores moved in and out split the store in two and it looked so weird. It broke me to close a store down and then 2 years ago I was with Babies R Us and did it again (a bit different but still). My on going joke is I cant keep a job same store for past 4 years. The twice I have done it they closed...all my others were under 4 years. Miss you still B&N

Well that was a late entry sorry about this. I got home late on the 4th and then got busy with work. Have a nice week everyone. Be safe and cool. Getting hotter now that Summer is officially here. God bless you!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, June 28th 2020)

Welcome to the last one of these for this month! Crazy! June is over with as of two more days from now. What?? 2020 what a year it has been and not been... I still miss not doing the Del Mar fair this year :( wah!!

1. Today is the birthday for our first cats Patches & Princess. Famous is they were born on this date in 1992 that was a big earthquake. We recalled this when we got them. We lost Princess in 2010 and Patches in 2004. I like to think they are up there together forever. With Maggie & Rainbow. Speaking of Rainbow. She should have turned 18. It was a deep relief to be past her birthday that I had dreaded this whole month making me a complete anxious mess. My dear friend let me go on a walk with her by the beach. We had food and then we went on a little walk. I miss you Rainbow so much!! I miss you I will never not miss you. I just want you back with me. I came home last night for a second I forgot you were gone. Didn't help dreaming about her on Friday night to Saturday.

2. Worked less this week thanks to a new injury on my neck that has now traveled. I have pain now in both my shoulders, and my neck and my arms. My right one way more. All thanks to work and my hurting neck. I hate this! Worse yet because I cant pin point when it happened I cant do a workmenscomp yet. So now I have to get X-rays from my doctor and prove its work related and then come back and do this. This could go on for weeks. :( So I called out on Wednesday & Friday and even today Sunday. I would keep calling out since points dont count at least till end of June but I cant afford it. Sigh. I need a new job after my job fixes me since they did break me!

3. Church was awesome last week! I love going to 2 services. I didnt think I would but I do. I will keep doing it. I get to see more people and I get to get more out of it. I get to afterwards hang out longer with my friends and Pastor and such. Its all good stuff. I was sad some of my friends I was positive coming didnt come :( maybe next time!! ZOOM Thursday was okay. I wasn't feeling that great from my injuries. I did what I could. I really want to meet in person and will keep praying till there is no point in praying we can change it to in person.

4. We did a nice long bike ride on Monday even farther to the beach we got. Love it! Might go back to the GYM soon unsure for sure when but maybe soon we shall. But for now bike rides great. Sure I did it after my arm hurting that wasn't what made my arm still hurt. But yeah great fun bike ride. Sadly with my issues rest of week no workouts out all not even Zumba :(

5. Thursday before all that went with my mom to look at birds. Wasn't a long trip. But overdue and we still had some fun. Got a few cool pictures. Then came back home to sleep for several more hours before my zoom meeting. We been meaning to get back to the birds for a while now so glad we finally doing that again! Lets keep it up!

Well that is all I can think of. Good bye June hello July. Have a nice week everyone!! Stay cool or warm. God bless!! :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, June 21st 2020)

Happy Fathers Day!! And happy 1st day of Summer. Summer is FINALLY HERE! Felt like Summer forever. And we have arrived finally. Left behind my favorite season. This year is just a mess. And tbh I am over it. So there you go. Had my half birthday yesterday didnt say a thing to anyone about it. Much like other holidays I let pass or funny days I normally talk about like pie day, April 25, Star Wars day. I just dont feel like celebrating these little days that dont mean much right now....

1. Work this week. Blah! I called out on Friday to head down to San Diego for celebrations for Fathers Day. More below. Other then that. Just my usual worked a lot and felt a lot of crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Work is work till its no longer like we I finally escape and say see ya!

2. Workouts this week. I did a Zumba only on Tuesday. A long one at that. Was a fun time once I finally did it. Also did a smaller bike ride on Monday. Fun still all the same. I love it. And GYMS are now open again so we will figure that out soon if we keeping it or not and the what not's or not's for that.

3. Church was awesome last week. I felt so much LOVE! I think finally being back at church as I was telling my pastor is beyond making me happy. Its healing me. That hurt I felt for months as I watched everything I love or looked forward taken from me. And when church was in the mix I felt like I was dying every Sunday. But now we back. In masks, being social distancing but still we back. And my sister is coming to church with me :) that makes me happy! Love and that! ZOOM on Thursday was okay. But funny too. Too much funny those ladies were funny. But I still wish hope and pray we can meet in person soon in the future and not do this whole stinking thing on Zoom!

4. Thursday went on a hike our first since like 2013! Went up near Fall Brook. It was a short hike and we forgot how bad it was till we there it was very steep and almost eating it over the side wasn't funny. But we had fun. All before my zoom meeting that night. Ha.

5. Fathers Day early celebration. Went up to San Diego. We saw the light house it closed but we got close anyways, the statue, and the tide pools. Had fun either way. Was out forever. Got home very late! But not a bad day at all :)

That is all for now. Things happening this week I am not looking forward to things...but we must do them anyways. Have a good week! God bless you all :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, June 14th 2020)

Welcome welcome. Middle of June. Things are opening up this week again and again. Not for sure normal but heading towards it. Like the zoo, aquariums, etc. Yeah for more stuff!! Unsure about when the theme parks will open big mystery not yet solved

1. Work is blah. And thanks to work my poor poor neck is a mess. I spent both Tuesday & Thursday suffering greatly. I couldn't even work out I just iced my neck and head and cried it was horrible. I am trying while I work to not turn my head as much. Doing my best to do this. Work is busy but okay. I just go and come and be done. Thankful for this week I had less hours one less day was really truly nice

2. 9 years ago we finished up our trip to California from Arizona. I wont regret that trip. But at the same time how weird that it was just like 3 months later we moved back home. Could have saved the trip and not come. Not like we could go and do much about it once we came but yeah. About that. But it was an interesting time for sure.

3. Workouts this week just ONE big bike ride on Monday. I didnt work. SO we took a longer bike ride and made it over half way to the beach. I am guessing we were about 45min from the beach maybe 30min. Fun time. Sure felt it for days later. But we had fun. It was a good time :) I am glad we went. I forget till I am doing it how much fun that bike path is with the dips and there were a few.

4. ZOOM this week. That was interesting. I hope we get to do this in person eventually. Truly do! But had fun learning about what this 7 weeks course will be about. Yes of course I hope to get married someday. I meant it last year I meant it this year. I meant it now. If its Gods will I am ready to get married :)

5. Church was awesome. Sure my pastor wasn't there but he will be next week! I love church service. I love how it makes me feel. I love that we are in church again not stuck online. I love that we are still going. Oh and I got hugs last week. I know we aren't suppose to but it just happened. And I let it. Sorry not sorry.

That is all for now I can think of. This month speeding by. I hope you all have a marvelous week! God bless you always.

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, June 7th 2020)

Welcome to June! We are now speeding towards the middle of this crazy horrible year. But you know what? Lets be honest! There have been some GOOD things too. I cant say its been that horrible. Sure its been rough as crap with absolutely everything cancelled this Summer so its making it really hard to do anything but work. But but but there was good before all this. I had good stuff January till mid March that were very great stuff! Its just been rough for about 2.5 months now but it wasn't before. And yes that means it will be rough till at least September for us maybe longer :/ Count the good not the bad! Be grateful!

1. My baby Rainbow. Her birthday is this month and its going to be SO HARD!! Maybe that is why these past two weeks I have been crying again more. Yesterday I cried for real doing my usual Saturday post. The thing is my heart is still being healed and till it is if it ever will be I wont be the same. I dont think I will ever be the same. I have planned a few things for her birthday. I am planning a walk with my dear good friend in her honor. Then a ride by the beach with my mom and my sister in her honor. These are the two things we have been doing on her birthday for a while now. I will think up more as we get closer. I just miss her so much. I just want her back with me. My life is never gonna be the same again I know but its just been super hard :(

2. Did only one Zumba this week. Literally one workout total like that. No wiifit and only 1 Zumba. I however did 2 bike rides and the first one on Monday was very long. It was fun but so long. And then when we went to ride on Wednesday it was beyond painful :( haha. Getting in shape is so much fun. LOL. Send help !!

3. So 9 years ago at this time we were still in California about to head back home. We drove here for a small week long trip from Arizona. It was a fun time. Did stuff with our parents then went back home. Had no idea that God was gonna bring us back home 3 months later maybe we wouldn't have come out. But I am glad we came out same time cause it was a good time it was fun.

4. Work this week long and harsh. Well last Sunday I went to work for my 1 to 9 shift and it turned into 1 to 5 because our store closed early due to a protest by the other Walmart. Yikes!! So we closed early and got the heck out of there fast. It was scary and brought out my anxiety attack that I wasn't planning on having. UGH!! Other than that nothing much. Made it through another week. Had a lot of hours. And we have another person working for us now. So we are good on people. This might mean less hours in the future. But I dont care. For one I am still trying to exit right and disappear aka get a new job. And until then having more people especially since we so short handed is truly NOT a bad thing!

5. Church last week was SO GREAT!!!!! Sure it sucked being in masks. But it was a beautiful day. And got to see my pastor whom I have missed so much. I am unsure if he will be back this next Sunday he is healing up at home from his heart operation on Wednesday. I am so glad he is fine though and God is taking care of him. But church was wonderful. Different. But wonderful. And somehow even though it not allowed I got 3 hugs (2 from 1 person). Oh well. I am not afraid but I get he rules and I didnt ask for hugs nor force them on anyone.

Have a good week everyone. Mine will be a bit different. Got my book club starting up, an extra day off work, and more! We had rain on Friday night to Saturday so weird. Our weather is so strange now a days. Welcome to weirdo California. God bless you always!!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, May 31st 2020)

Welcome to the last day and last one of these for May. Things are changing and that is good. God is still on the throne. Praying everyday for more normal less not no matter what things are changing that is good.

1. Church is gonna be back this week actually as I post this we will be at church. However that I will talk about next week. This week we had it online for the last time. And the governor on Monday told us we can open up. And Tuesday our pastor told us we really are gonna open up today. I love it! I miss church. I miss my friends. And more important I miss my pastor. I know its gonna be weird for a while but its gonna be okay.

2. Rainbow my love. 33 weeks later. Well on Tuesday I had a day. In the middle of being so excited about church my heart was breaking. I had woken up just plain MISSING Rainbow worse then usual. I ended up being sad all day. And ending my day crying my eyes out. Grief is weird. I will never get it. That some days I am fine others I just miss her so much. I just want her back. I just want life to be back to normal and it hasn't felt normal since she left me. My baby girl :(

3. Work blah. Work is busy and people are annoying. And I hate these masks. I hate that we gotta wear them I hate making them wear them and then I hate they aren't wearing them. I just want out of this crazy store. Maybe Hobby Lobby or some place else or for Petes sake maybe a radio station. Idk. But I cant keep working here. Not when one day we will get back to checking receipts which I already hated and will hate even more so. Ugh.

4. Workouts I did three this week. Tuesday & Thursday I did Zumba. And on Wednesday I did a wiifit. We also did our bike ride on Monday which was fun. I love bike riding. Next week we doing it twice. Yes! Twice! I am thrilled :)

5. Wednesday was a weird day. I had a phone in doctor visit. That ended with me getting my prescriptions renewed. But I never saw him and I dont think I was charged. All over the phone. This is a strange world we live in.

Well that is all I can think of. We are moving on to June and heading towards the middle of the year. And here we are...still!. Have a great week. God bless you!

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, May 24th 2020)

One more of these left for the month is next weekend! Things are changing and I hope and pray its for the good. Keep believing keep praying!!

1. Work this week was blah! I skipped work Sunday (see below here), but I did work the rest of the week. I am at 5 days a week next 2 more weeks then back to 4 again the following? Huh. I am confused. I truly am okay with either 4 or 5 days a week. I did a 3 day week once few weeks back that was fun. I am gonna start looking for a new job. Now that I hear places are opening back up. I am beyond over my job. I wanted out back in February. I am gonna pray and start applying. If its Gods will it will happen! So for now here I am stuck at this job stuck in the middle of this. Stuck as an essential worker with no real breaks. I am not afraid of getting sick but this whole thing has gotten me sick of my job even more so. Its exhausting us all so much :(

2. I skipped work last Sunday the same day I posted this. I only say that because I felt like crap and I was not gonna go to work like that. Yes it cost me hours but truly I rarely call out. I haven't called out since my pastor had a stroke and I couldn't handle work so the next day I called out. That was my last time back in March. I used PTO for that one. I get little issues with things I deal with. Tbh I have PCOS and I have things that it messes with me and with my normal woman things. And I sometimes feel like crap. Instead of toughing it up I called out and slept more. I was shakey and dizzy all day. While I was NOT sick I have not been since February. I know they dont want us at work if we feel crappy even if we not sick. The funny thing is my co worker who has called out no reason for 2 weeks now called out for the 3rd week last Sunday and so we both called out they had no closer! LOL! Oh boy.

3. Workouts this week. I did 2 Zumbas 1 on Tuesday & 1 on Thursday. My 1 on Thursday was longer. I also with my sister did 2 bike rides. We did 1 on Monday & 1 on Wednesday both after working. Exhausting but fun. So its tiring but fun getting in bike shape. Not bad really. I miss the gym but when gym is open again I want to keep doing this too. I dont want to stop wifi or Zumba I am kinda hooked now. On both this and the gym!

4. ZOOM last one for this week for the fall/spring session. What an amazing journey. I have never done a small group I have never done a women's bible study. It was all new for me. I did the summer book club that got me hooked on this and then I realized I wanted more. But I wanted to bail. From day 1 it was hard for me. I over came so much with God. I love everyone so much. Our last one was very short. Only about 45min total maybe 50. I had a bad day on Thursday I woke up feeling off and it made me edgy and I was crying so much. So my dear friend I called her after the study since we done early. And she made me feel better. She is truly a gift from GOd. She is a friend good for my heart. She made me feel better. I didnt want to cry anymore. I was okay. I felt better talking about the mess that had gotten me where I was. It just made me happy. She is a gift from God. I love her so much!!

5. Speaking of which. We hung out on Tuesday. She came over for a walk around my neighborhood. Unlike last time she didnt bring her dog. And we didnt talk after for long. But she made time to come hang out with me. I hope we get to hang out again next week. And there is a very good possibility that we will be back in church soon. Maybe next Sunday. I am praying so much. Every day for this!! But I am gonna miss hanging out. I am gonna miss all this. Maybe it will stick. Maybe I can still hang out sometimes with her. I can check in with my friends and call them. Why do I gotta wait to see them at church only? Exactly!

Well I am unsure what will happen this week but I am praying for miracles. That God will work things out and we might be back in church in a week. It could happen it could. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD! Have a good blessed week. See you next weekend. God bless.