Welcome to this in a new time we are now in Day Light Savings!! Yes it means we lost an hour of sleep but we gain a beautiful hour of daylight. I kinda hate it and I lived for a year in Arizona it was super weird not doing the clock thing even just once through... How was your week? Mine was busy for sure.
1. Work is work. Yup. But the pressure and such. I keep saying I am gonna look for a job and I dont. But some days I feel like they are just making us feel odd so we will want to leave. I'm sure thats not true but it feels like it. The pressure alone is just crazy. I know I am not working for them I am working for God. But when I forget that and think I am working for them or I just let it get to me it stresses me out so badly. I know all jobs have stress but for a job where I "just check receipts" (which its more than that way more) its really just insane. Now with everyone thinking they are gonna get put under house arrest for 14 plus days WHEN they get sick (its not IF with most its WHEN) they want to stock up and take all our antibacterial stuff, toilet paper, towels, water and cleaning stuff. YOU ARE ALL INSANE YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT? I am off after today till Wednesday SO GLAD FOR AN EXTRA DAY OF FREEDOM! More about that next week :)
2. School show 6 was not bad actually. Except an odd fluke that I keep not telling anyone about. It was funny but not really. Yes I love my show and doing it. I forgot when I planning March out I have 4 shows still. I thought with Spring break in 2 weeks that I had only 3 weeks NOPE I have 4!! Oops my bad. After that done I met my sister in downtown and got my medicine! Then back home to work on stuff.
3. GYM twice and almost THREE times. Sadly we didnt make it to the gym after work on Saturday. We both too tired and realized how late it would get if we did. After all losing an hour more of sleep. Yup. Oh well. Twice is okay and not bad. Back to 2 only next week. Oh well we tried we did we did try.
4. Thursday I went down early after GYM and met with my Pastor. We didnt get enough done so we are meeting again next week I am so happy. He is helping me out in so many areas. I just struggle and struggle with different things as a believer and some things are new and some are from being back and all kinds of stuff. I am glad. I have never asked for this much help. God is using the grief this is how it began and now just more devotionals to break down the pride. I am praying for my pride to be broken down. I have a very prideful family we are all too proud to ask for help. The I can do it I dont need help attitude is exhausting but we all do it. Its a learned thing for me. I am glad that I am breaking that down. Pride is painful but its a sin and I dont want to be full of pride. God loves me and is changing me THAT IS GOOD! Then we had our church and that was nice. I am trying to open up during group time which I never do. And they understand that. But I did and that was shocking well for me because I dont do that. Who am I? LOL
5. 2017 was a BIG year for me and it was a HARD year for me. Tbh it began with pain. I dont chose to tell you where but I was bad. In fact if I look back on 2017 I might have talked about it on here. PCOS is a mean thing look it up. Well that is how my year began literally a few days in. I was still dealing with tons of depression. It was hard. I just was like this is it. Depression is mean but I had no idea it was the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention and it had been like that for a while. I am so glad that God doesn't give up like people do. That He will just keep pounding away allowing things and doing all He can to get your attention till we turn back to Him. He truly does go after that 1 lost sheep! And you dont get that till that sheep IS YOU! Well in April shortly after the Hot Chocolate 5K which is such a fun race (coming up in 2 weeks!!) I was getting off work from BRU and I was thinking of that song by Randy Stonehill & Amy Grant "I Could Never Say Good Bye" but for a person like never say good bye to a person then I was thinking cause that song is about God. Could I say that about God? I COULD NOT AND THAT FREAKED ME OUT! That night and I didnt think I would be different I re dedicate my life. I have never felt so changed since I became a believer at age 6. I had to read my Bible a lot and it was not enough once a day I did it twice. I read 4 books and 2 at night. I began to pray twice a day. I didnt have a church to go to as my sister was not back with God and we always had been skipping for a good 2 years at least. So I spent 7 months without a church till my home church Life Point opened up 10min from our house. I still go there. I LOVE MY CHURCH! It was worth the wait. The pain wasn't getting better after countless doctor visits I learned I have PCOS and have for a while. That was my pain. I thought I was dying before I found out. I thought God has brought me back to let me die in peace and go home. But I was okay. I never died. But all that PAIN caused me to really truly rely on Jesus Christ my Savior like I had never before. I am still changed I have not gone back I am still His. He still has me. Going on 3 years next month (unsure on date). Also on a note: my uncle Mike died in August. In the middle of my pains and trying to get help and figure stuff out we lost my first relative of the 4 on my dads side. He still has his sister and other brother alive. My mom only has 1 sibling left she has lost 3. Sadness we miss you Mike still!! But I am sure he is happy and is not missing us. Because NO CRYING IN HEAVEN NO SADNESS!!!! 2017 was a BIG year for me. Next week we review a sadder year for me that lines us up with just 2 of these to go in my review of the last decade 2010-2019
Well have a great day. It rained last night but not yesterday. Tomorrow it better not at least till later but Tuesday its supposed to on my day at school and my meeting too :( Well God bless you all have a good one.
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