The Weekend 5 (Sunday, October 29th 2023)

Welcome to the last one of these for the month of October. Its been one crazy month and even crazier we now are just two months left of this year...wow

1. Last Sunday I discovered someone had gotten a hold of my debit card info again been a few years and tried to take money. It was denied and then I had to wait all week and use only cash I got from my bank till my new card came. NOT COOL! I hate this happening. I know it happens but it sucks and unlike when this happened a few years ago when I had at least some idea how this time I am totally unsure :( 

2. Church is wonderful and beautiful and wow we are almost 6 years old on the 5th of November. I love my church I do. But I still miss so many who I met here and dont go there anymore. My life was changed by them and now I hardly if ever see them :( I miss the days when I saw them every week. I love those who are here dont get me wrong just miss a lot those who have moved onto another church....

3. Work has been super busy per usual. My co worker went on vacation on Saturday and I miss her totally completely 100% a lot. Not just her working but as my friend. I have a few co workers I consider actual friends and 2 are in my department and 2 are not. Well she is one of the two and I am sad. She will be back in a week. I am glad she is having fun. But I am totally missing her and she told me before she left and after she'd hugged me and I'd cried some (she doesn't know I cried sniff) that this was how it was when *I* went on vacation because we get each other and how things are. And its sad we aren't that way with all in our team but same time maybe its better this way. Its emotional enough as is for me missing her and my other co workers when they gone for a day or more....

4. Radio show is going well. I do my last Halloween one tomorrow. I will miss my fun month. I love doing my show and I know every show is more experience for me to one day get a radio job. It keeps me on my toes. And I love doing it each week. Even when I lose sleep and time to it its fine it really is indeed. Yes I will be back in the Spring I'm already planning on it :) 

5. Got my final crown on my tooth and its hurting some. Idk if its hurting or the tooth in front of it. I need SO much more dental work then I can do and afford. Its just sad. :( I am glad we are done for now with it but same time I dont like having pain on something that shouldn't be having pain since its a better crown for me who bites down a lot especially in my sleep.

Well have a fun and safe Halloween. I'll see you in November. God bless you :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, October 22nd 2023)

 Welcome. Pardon my not doing these for a couple of weeks months even. I got busy and sick and stuff and life just happened. Maybe I will go back and do them again for the ones I missed this is for last week for now best I can do it...

1. Work has been very busy. And stressful. We have 3 new co workers in the past couple of weeks and yet we are stressed out more than ever. In fact more stressed out then when didnt have them. I just didnt think that was possible. But my friend co worker and me agree its worse when they here. I mean I love them I am glad they here it does HELP but also its STRESSFUL. And I cant explain it any other way.

2. Church is so beautiful I love going each week. And I love my family. I still feel disconnected not doing the women bible study. It all has to do with where we live temporarily just been a mess of a few months here. I miss it totally and completely 100% but I know I will be back doing them next year for sure.

3. The house we living in time is coming to an end. We are supposed to move back to our house after 3 months here by the 8th of November. However they have not even come close to finishing and praying they do its very stressful thinking they wont be done. And even if they do get done its stressful how its gonna go with all our stuff just dropped off probably no organization at all and us left to deal with this for months just a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving and a month or so before Christmas. UGH!!

4. I love my radio show no complaints at all. Im enjoying doing Halloween time which I loved so much in 2018 and 2019 and missed since then. My first time back doing this in 4 years wow. So fun!! I am so grateful God allowing me to do this and I know one day soon I will be working for a radio station. Till then I carry on getting experience and having such a fun fun time.

5. Last week and this week dealt with my tooth of two weeks back. I lost a piece of my crown in the back the first one that began my teeth issues in 2020. I have a permeant new one being made that cost a bit more but should be stronger. 2 days after my temporary put in on the 12th it fell out at work. I spent several days till the following Tuesday with no temporary at all. Now since last Tuesday thank God its sticking in there. And Thursday just a few days to get that. Also last week on Thursday I got my 3rd cortisone shot of the year in my shoulder. I had a weird reaction including my right arm turning red and hot on Friday & Saturday the red hot moved to my back below my neck. But now its fine and mostly doesn't hurt. And no I cant do the surgery the doctor so badly wants me to try every time we talk because I dont got the right kind of insurance. sigh. 

Thats all for now. Have a good week. Be safe God bless. Hope to see you next week :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, August 27th 2023)

Welcome. Its the last one of these in August. Wow that is just crazy. Our family personally have been going through a lot and its just been a hard hard month. And normally I love August. 

1. Work has been busy per usual. New rules old rules and all that jazz. Hopeful we will get help kinda dies. And not getting along with my co workers especially one is just so dang hard. I just cant say how much it is so hard to do this. We are a TEAM. We are all we got. And when we fight its just wrong. And I hate being picked on no matter who does it :( 

2. I am prepping today for my show my radio show begins tomorrow the 28th so more to come about that. I am super excited. Its one of my biggest blessings this year is getting my show back. I know God has good plans for me and this. Or I wouldn't be able to keep doing it despite I will be on vacation in a month and miss two shows. My teacher is okay with it. So yes I am doing it. 

3. Church we missed it last week. Thanks to the tropical storm Hilary. We decided it wasn't a good idea to come at least 20min on the freeway in wind and rain. 5 min is nothing 20 is a lot more than we were willing to bargain with. So I spent my day off from it all sleeping a lot and not much else LOL. Back to it this week so there you go.

4. Went to Coronado on Thursday. Was unsure we could do it but we did. First we went to the old house took care of my birds and my plant babies. Then headed to the beach and then Coronado. The waters iffy and cold so mostly just put our feet in. And enjoyed it all. Then we got ice cream and walked the hotel. And dinner at Island Pasta we love this place 2nd coming here last time was 2021! Yum! Home late but oh well tired is worth it :) 

5. Give it all to Jesus. Thats my advice my last note here for today. On Friday I handed about 5 plus issues I'm dealing with to Him to deal with. I still tend to hold tight to my problems and not let him have them. It doesn't matter that he tells me hand them over. I say not thanks and hold tight. Then I have too much and since I overwhelm easier it just gets to me. And I cry and cry. I was having a bad off day too so Friday wasn't fun but truly giving him it all was the best I could do. I pray friends you know Jesus He is all you need and more than you dont think you do :)

See you all in September. Enjoying a gorgeous evening in our backyard here at our temp house. God bless you all :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, August 20th 2023)

Welcome to everyone who is not in this storm haha. If you are welcome too. Crazy couple of days here in our house and state.

1. Work has been busy. Especially on Friday and even more on Saturday as everyone so afraid of the storm stocking up on waters and other things like toilet paper and towels. And batteries we ran out of those that worked in our flash lights also all gone. People believe anything. There is being prepared and there is being insane. So there you go.

2. Church was wonderful of course. I love my church. I'm gonna be sad I cant do the study in the fall. I live too far away and I'm not even planning on signing up. There is no point. Who would pick me up? So there is that. Oh well its okay. 

3. My last radio show was nearly perfect. I am so happy!! I made it through this semester with so many trials from not being able to do homework except on my phone to this flood. I cant wait for fall which begins next week. By the grace of God I did it and I get to come back wow God is good. I love being a radio dj :)

4. Thursday we had every intention of going in our pool we still haven't. We went to the beach but it took so long at the old house. Forever. Then my sister got something in her tire. So there went that. We haven't tried our pool out yet and been here over 2 weeks :( its just one thing after another with us! 

5. The one thing that made me happy this week was going back on Friday night to get my succulents from the other house. Even just the babies. I wish I could bring them all. I miss my plants and my birds. I wish I could have them all here. I hate all this much. I know there is a greater lesson in this but idk what it is. The babies are here with me now and I'm keeping them here till we go back home in November. 

Well have a good week everyone. Stay dry and safe. Especially to those in this area having this tropical storm pound them its scary out there. God bless you all :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, August 13th 2023)

Welcome. Now coming to you from our new temporary house yuppie. How was your week?

1. Church was beautiful as always. So many loving helpful people willing to help us move from our house to the new place. We gonna go on Tuesday but it ended up being on Friday. But we still had help which is a great thing. Yes I love my church ever so much :)

2. Work was shorter as I had to call out AGAIN. Yes thats 3x in the last 2 weeks and all 3 on the same check. I gotta be careful as I am at 4pts. 1 will drop the 22nd. Sucks the other 3 will hold on till next February. Mind you I rarely call out and get points but this past two weeks has been a lot of flood and moving issues and calling out couldn't be helped. Not even if I wanted it to be. I tried so hard to go on Tuesday when we moving in (my sister and me went to the new house for 3 nights before my parents came) but it couldn't happen. Ugh. 

3. Moving sucks. It sucks that we gotta chose what we will have with us for next up to 90 days. And what will be packed up by them. Sure we did pack up stuff on our own but mostly knew it would be them. They showed up on Friday after my parents left and by Saturday night most of the house messy as it was with so much stuff everywhere cause we been here almost 12 years is now packed up and in a pod in the drive way. Its SO HARD! Our room and my parents room and the office those will be done this week. Then they begin work. I have to go back on Thursdays and Sundays to water my plants and take care of my birds. Its not enough. But our new places is 20 plus minutes away in Carlsbad. Its a NICE house. With a pool, spa, can sleep 10 people, me and my sister got our own rooms and I have a bed after sleeping on the floor on a mattress for nearly 12 years. But its just not the same. Bad as the house was, crowded, messy, HOT, we all want to be back there. And now we will have to move back in when they done and all our stuff will be back but we have to set it up again. Even the walls in our rooms including ours mine so decorated. I'll never get it back like it was again :( hate this!

4. My radio show went much better for number 8. Sad just one to go. Trying to be happy I can come back in the Fall. I am just gonna do one more show. Finish up my homework and look forward to coming back whenever I can in a few weeks. It has been quit an interesting return to my love of being a radio dj. Retro 80s Hits forever :)

5. Hard to believe 12 years ago I was saying good bye to my summer internship in Arizona. I loved going to FOX10 news and all it gave me. A love of tv and a love of future jobs. I did that as my only internship with CSB. I'm unsure if they even exist anywhere anymore. But I dont regret my summer doing that. I just wish I could have gone more days and spent more time doing that instead of looking for work. I wasn't supposed to have a job and nearly killed myself for months looking and doing that while interning 2011 summer only to have to move back home in September 2011. Anyways....

Have a good blessed week. Ours is busy busy and such in a the new place. See you next time :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, August 6th 2023)

Welcome to August. Boy this last week has been nothing that I expected nor planned. Big ugh. Gods in control and that is all I know. Cause its been a long unfun week and it is continuing to this week too... sigh

1. Work isn't as busy as usual. On days I work yes its very busy. Especially Saturday what was that insanity like a holiday. Friday was okay busy. And Monday was busy but not weekend busy. I do love doing happy to help when I can. But I do also hate how short handed we are and how its stressing us all out so much. I didnt work Tuesday & Wednesday due to the flood (more below) so I had a shorter week. Now I have 2 extra points and less pay on my next check :( 

2. Church was beautiful. My very close friend was back after almost a month being gone. I got prayed over by our pastor and his wife, our elder and his wife and my close friend for my anxiety/depression. Mental health matters. This week marked 2 years since I began to finally seek help and began my journey to where I am today. I dont feel different but I know I am doing much better and I am still smiling despite so much crap so I know my medicines are working. Ever changing always going with the flow is me.

3. Thursday went to the beach. First we got breakfast then we traveled a bit to the strand. We went down these stairs and into the water there. It was not easy the stairs and all. But it was nice once down there. Less rocks hardly any and lots of sand. And the water was so warm it was not cold at all. Our heat spell continues. Up and down it does. So yes it was a much needed day off from all the crap we been through. 

4. My show 7 was okay but had some issues haven't had since show 4. 5 and 6 were much better. Hard to believe just 2 more to go. Then comes fall. I'm doing great on my hours and my teacher is way understanding of all my issues even with late assignments I am confident I will pass and be able to do this again in the Fall probably around September. Even my Pastor is a fan of my show :) 

5. So comes the last thing the unfun thing. Monday came home after my long day as all Mondays are. The faucet in our bathroom was making a funny screaming nose on the cold side. It was from the pipes we guessed. Honestly we didnt think it was that serious. My sisters IHS visit was a week away and we wanted to get past that before we worried about this and didnt make that big a deal out of it but my parents knew. Come 4am on Tuesday I was getting up early to clean for the visit before I got ready for work so I was gonna be up at 430. Its 4am and I hear my mom yelling. I'd fallen asleep again with no earplugs I seem to do this a lot on Mondays. I didnt hear her at first over my fan but when I turned it off it sounded like "we need help" and "Bob it wont stop". I opened the door to the hallway to find 2 or 3 inches of water flowing down all 3 areas of the hallway like a little river. The faucet in our bathroom cold side shot off on my dad in the bathroom a good 15 minutes before and they couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. My sister woke up remembering it was out front and got it off. Then we had to clean the water up with towels from my youngest sister and my parents went to Winco for a mop. An emergency plumber coming at 630 to replace our faucet. When this all went down I called out of work it was not happening and went back to bed. While I slept the plumber came and then a friend came and looked at our house took pictures. He said we have to leave our place for up to 6 weeks while they replace the floors and carpets in all 4 rooms now ruined and pieces of the wall it bad. All this from some water. This was a mess he said we had to leave on Thursday. So I called out Wednesday thinking we leaving Thursday I wish I could have just worked there was no point. We didnt leave Thursday. We did find out we have to leave by this coming Tuesday up to 90 days a nice place we finally secured in Carlsbad. Its a nice house. But they will be packing up all our house and when we come back to new floors we will be moving back into our house now. Such a night mare. We have been packing up stuff to take and what we dont want them to mess with so they labeled. But in the end we cant do it all and will end up leaving most to be packed up by then. SO STRESSFUL. Running on little sleep is how I face the week. So here we are. 2 days away. That is how my week went.

Well next weekend in the new house and all. Have a good one. God bless you :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, July 30th 2023)

Welcome to the last one of these for July how crazy is that. July is over after tomorrow what!! How was your week?

1. Work has been busy. And it feels even busier as we are STILL shorthanded and it's kinda driving us all crazy. Like all of us. Like how much pressure can you put on just one person little alone a small group of workers with so much responsibility? Right? Anyways. It feels worse as its hot and we short handed so we all struggled last week to get through it and I am sure we will struggle this week it seems never ending. No more help and losing people too ugh. Retail right.

2. Church was okay last week. My mental state was very bad and I DID NOT want to be there. In fact I withdrew myself, cried the whole time and didnt want to hug a soul. I hugged a few that happened upon me and forced myself to hug one. Other then that I rushed to the car after and went home to cry my eyes out and try and pray to not do something else. My issues are just NOT improving. And being that bad at church isn't my idea of a good time at all. Mental health matters and its not something you see so look out for your fellow people in church or work you just do NOT know what people are going through while not wanting to tell a single person about it. Or in my case not wanting to "burden" others. Having no desire to be loved and then the enemy uses that to push me farther into my place and my tunnel and my out is all I can see and its not a good out.

3. I had my psychiatrist appointment a week early. Due to my total and complete melt down for the past week with THREE bad days TWO being worst. Plus a build up. And yes my usual PCOS issues and birth control and trying to figure out how to deal with me as an emotional messed up person. Anyways. I was grateful to see her a week early and now I am seeing her again this coming week as they didnt cancel my appointment so we using it as a check up. My new dose on my medicines is helping a lot. This is why I cant ever not be on medicine again. My medicine dips just right and circumstances around me sometimes are very bad and my hormonal issues come into play and I just about do some harm to myself. So yeah about that. Next day Thursday talked to my therapist. She was shocked how much I had changed in two weeks. We tried to figure out why and spent our whole session going over me being safe and taking breaks and finding time for self care as I never do so good at and lately even worse. I said I would take breaks and work on self care and be safe. Just so dang hard I feel so broken and its so hard even admitting to anyone how bad off I feel while praying that it will be okay. And with my mental issues I just dont see how its gonna work out but it truly is. God is in the details honestly and he used a thing this week and one for next week to show me how loved I am and how I am actually doing a good job as in people saying this. Also showed me that I am needed, wanted and matter to those in my church maybe in ways I didnt fully see till now. Till next week for that good stuff. Well the church stuff at least.

4. Show 6 went off as well as show 5. I am so happy I am doing much better. Things work out. Despite being so tired each week and feeling like death by end of the day I really am enjoying myself. And then Thursday I had my meeting with my instructor/teacher and my manager. We did it by zoom in the station it was odd I thought we all meeting. Anyways after I talked to my manager who said even IF I am going on vacation in 2 months (at this time in 2 months will be on it) he wants me back for the fall. He surprised me how pleased he is with me and how easily I jumped back into it and although I had a few rough shows my last few have felt much more flawless and he believes I will continue to improve the longer I am on the air. He also said to my teacher that some students are djs for 2 years and still cant turn on a mic. If I wanted anymore proof that not only am I doing much better then I thought doing this but that it truly is my meant to be career field its here. I wont forget nearly 6 years ago that my teacher saw such promise in me and my news reports and I fell in love with the radio and then my manager too saw it and offered me on cause I took it up so easily and that says a lot for someone who has ADHD forgets so many things and has all kinds of issues. The way with this cause I enjoy it and I am meant to do it changes the way I see and that is a good thing indeed. 

5. The 29th marked 3 years since my bike accident. The last two years I decided to mention it on facebook this year especially since less if not any post on instagram at the moment due to them being stupid I didnt say a thing on social media. I told my co worker. And my dear friend and that was it. I wont forget that day not one moment. I wont stop regretting what I did the rest of my life. While I believe and trust Jesus can and will heal me more than likely I will be dealing with this shoulder issue much like my neck the rest of my life. I gave myself a forever injury like my neck and knee. Although my knee and neck both were from work and not my fault. This was my fault. And that is why its so hard. I have forgiven myself a lot over the years. I dont really feel guilty anymore just sad what I did. Changed my life not for the best.

See you all next week in August. Busy busy. Stay cool its been up and down heat where I am at no kidding! God bless you :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, July 23rd 2023)

Welcome. Last week was unpredictable to say the least. Okay then.

1. Hard to believe its been a full year since we got over c*vid although it hung on for dear life all through August and then kinda ruined my entire immune system to date I have had this year alone at least 3 sinus infections, and last year I had at least 2 or 3 some that wouldn't go away with one round of medicines so I had to go at it again including one this year and one last year! Stupid virus ruined my health worse then my diabetes and I am sure having that doesn't help it either boo!

2. Church was a nice time. But I miss some people not there. It just seems empty. Our Pastor and several friends some very close not there. I am sad. I miss the hugs. And I still miss all those gone now over a year ago. My church used to be full of people and full of love and then it went the other direction. And I'm probably never gonna be fully over that tbh :( 

3. My 5th radio show went so well!! I had issues on 3 and worse on 4 so this was just such a relief. I know that bad things happen, thats life, and its a learning curve for me for sure but honestly having such a perfect show really reminded me why I used to love doing this show. I always have issues almost every time sometimes worse then others but sometimes it just is too much and I am just dealing with tons of anxiety and lack of sleep too this time around. I am not who I was 3 years ago when I last did this show. I'm unsure if thats a good thing or not. 

4. Got my 2nd injection in my shoulder on Thursday. Unlike last time my shoulder and arm were totally sore and that wasn't fun. We went to the beach whether that was a good idea or not. I got a wee bit sunburnt. And my shoulder was super hot on Friday but I think its from the injection too not just a sun burn. 

5. My mental health isn't doing so great. After months of doing well since like February I feel like I have gone backwards. My medicines aren't working right or something idk what it is. For weeks now. And worse since Wednesday. I called out Wednesday for a mental day because I so bad I just needed to NOT be at work. And I was so glad. I stayed home did nothing but sleep and eat and sleep and eat and bed. I see my therapist this week and my psychiatrist next week. Unsure what will happen... so work has been very stressful and I know this is NOT helping me at all. We way too short handed and they expecting the same from us despite schedule changes and people stop showing up. I think its gonna drive us all crazy pretty soon :( 

Well this week is busy. But planning to work all 5 my days there is that. See you next week. We almost done with July what is up with that. 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, July 16th 2023)

 Welcome to a hot one now we middle of the month and middle of Summer. How was your week?

1. Work has been busy per usual. We got new people which is great but we still short handed so much. I wish sometimes well all the time that they would pay attention to what we go through instead of seeing all this from their point of view and put some action into helping us out and hiring more people. Its just frustrating and stressful for all of us left here. 

2. Church was great I was in such a great mood! Then I lost it afterwards this is the life of me and my emotional and my mental health which never seems good. I had therapy on Thursday and she acted like we might start not talking every two weeks. I read between the lines as that is what I do. Usually we make our appointments several out but she didnt want to make my second one yet next month till next week?? So now I'm unsure what going on. I am for sure not better enough to stop talking to her every two or three weeks max. Sigh. 

3. Radio show had some frustrating stuff for show 4. Doing bad on the homework idk what to say. This whole thing is a trial run for me. If I can do this and they let me can I do it for fall which will be a lot more shows and a lot more work. Plus my manager will have to be okay with me not being there while on vacation... dont get me wrong honestly I have fun. I love doing my show and I love learning new things. Bad stuff it happens. But sometimes I get so frustrated about how bad I think I'm doing. 

4. Thursday after therapy and cleaning we went to the beach. We had a fun time. Our usual beach was too rocky and too mean. So after an hour of abuse we headed down the street to the next opening cause its an ocean town with lots of little spots. We had more fun sitting on the steps and being soaked in water and sand then the other beach. Good day. Sure we got burnt but fun time all around. Next beach trip is possible next Thursday after my injection unsure. 

5. I cant help but recalling we are still in the two weeks last year that we had c*vid that nasty devil virus. It was horrible and took so much from me. So I am glad that we are not having that this year. We can enjoy our summer. And all the fun that comes with it. Yes!! So thats my thoughts on that. In 2011 at this time I hung out for the last time with my best friend. I didnt know she would misunderstand us and judge us and within a year we stopped being friends after being best friends since 1998 :( 

Well see you next weekend. This week is busy yes but not as much yes too. Have a good week. God bless you :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, July 9th 2023)

 Last week was so busy sorry I didnt post one of these. I was gone ALL day on Sunday more below. But yeah here we are again. Speeding through July almost half way there. Already past the 4th of July. And other things....

1. Church is beautiful. I love my church. I love going on Sundays. After church Sunday we sped to meet my cousin and her son at Sea World. Got to hang out with them for about 4hrs but it was plenty of time to do all kinds of stuff. We had to leave by 6 to go get dinner so I could come home and get into bed for my show on Monday. But it was a fun time I enjoyed it. Its harder now that the only day off I have that matches her is Sundays. I miss my Tuesdays but I love my Sundays and since I cant have it both ways I just do this here and try to not think about before was like but still it sucks. Especially in the Summer when we used to use Tuesdays for our beach days and Thursdays for whatever days and now Thursdays are appointments and beach days and cleaning. Ugh. Like I said I try to not dwell so much.

2. My show 3 was good I messed up a little bit. I also messed up on the homework I hadn't been paying attention. This is an internship and the teacher is kinda making it like a real class with actual homework assignments. I was late too I should have done 3 things by last Sunday. I did all 3 on my phone as it wouldn't open in Safari on my Mac book stupid crap. And then messed one of those up. So now today after I work on my show 4 I'm gonna try again to do on my computer and fix the issue plus turn in the one thing I have due today that I haven't yet done. Busy busy. 6 more shows to go come on tomorrow I will be ready I swear!

3. Tuesday was the 4th of July and I got it off paid time off. First we saw The Flash which was a kinda good DC film I dont always like DC films I like some but not all. I dont like all the Marvel films either btw it goes both ways but I usually like Marvel more than DC. So after we came home cause I forgot the glow sticks. We then went to San Clemente for the rest of the day. There from like 4pm till 9:30pm. Had fun walking on the beach got a little wet but not too much. Fireworks awesome. Dinner at In n Out got home at like 12am. Yikes. Next day I called out NOT cause of that but my sinus infection that is hanging on gave me a sore throat and a runny nose. I got an appointment for Thursday. Now I'm on new medicines again for the next week as of Friday to knock this ear affection and sinus infection out of my system for good. See ya!

4. Work busy of course. But less since I hardly worked only worked 3 days not 5. So it went by smoothly. I love we have new people that are staying and not bailing on us. I'm super hopeful fingers crossed they keep coming in. On some days its a nice breather but we still got tight days too and not enough coverage like we had before. So getting closer and actually with all these new people we have so much more but still having spaces where we have not enough people which puts stress on us who have been here for years not days...

5. Went back to the chiropractor on Friday haven't seen her since last November. I was hoping I was healed for good. My neck began to hurt week before. So now I see her again this Friday I'm doing better then I was she is still awesome. Just wish it was gone. I know Gods got this but it was SO nice not dealing with my neck feeling like it on fire. Especially since I have all my other aches and pains I deal with daily sigh.

Well have a great week. This one is more normal for us. God bless you all :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, June 25th 2023)

 Sorry there was none for last week. I spent my whole day with the family (more below) after church and once home I just went to bed when I got home. Yup!

1. Fathers Day last Sunday the 19th. It was a fun day for sure. After church we met up at Boomers near by us. And played a nice round of mini golf. We haven't done this as a family in idk how long. And Misty my youngest sister never comes so her in the wheel chair with us was like an adventure in itself. Somehow I won even though I suck at this. I haven't kept score in a while too so there is that. And it was crowded guess all the dads wanted to spend the day with their kids at the mini course haha. After dinner at O's Kitchen ALSO crowded and once we home I crashed in bed way early I beat.

2. There was NO radio show last week on the 19th due to the holiday and the school closed. So I spent this past Thursday prepping for show 2 that will be on the air tomorrow. It might seem crazy to think I spend so much time prepping for these shows. Its insane in the moment but I really do spend hours at a time prepping for each show. And the fact I began all this over again after losing my past information I am now catching up and figuring out things for the show I may have but not necessarily talked about in the past.

3. Church was a great time of course. I love the hugs. I love talking to my special friends and my main friend. I am blessed. I love my church and the love we have for each other. Its been a year since things fell apart and many left that I still miss so much :( But I still love my church and at this point never plan to leave unless I moved away from the area (doubt that will happen but it could)

4. Work busy but not as much as two things: we got a new person a guy and so far he is staying so we have someone else to help us out HURRAY! Also I didnt work Friday. Sadly our main happy to help guy my friend who has been here 8 years leaves this coming week he has a new job and is moving to a new state. Not only are we gonna miss him, its leaving a BIG hole in our schedule with someone else having to fill it so now we need someone else new or someone to be promoted asap to that spot before he leaves very soon. Ugh. This year makes me so sad :(

5. Friday I took off because my Rainbow love would have been 21 and I miss her. I had a meltdown just picking out her pictures on Thursday. So no work on Friday. We had breakfast, then sea world, then this pop cats thing in downtown San Diego, and dinner at Boudin. Long day normally sad God got me through it once more. I miss you my Rainbow always forever in my heart :(

Well this week is a busy but a different kind. Lots to do. See you all next weekend I will try hard even though I got plans after church. God bless you all have a good one :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, June 11th 2023)

Hello again. Welcome to this. I am doing this now and going to bed asap as I have some big news below about my radio show :) How was your week

1. Whelp after my thing last week saying I wasn't doing the radio show the next day things changed. My manager had emailed me on Sunday night around 8pm and I didnt see his email so I text him next day just you know asking hey why didnt you pick me was it my schedule. He is like didnt you get my email you start next Monday WHAT???? This was before work I was getting ready I nearly couldn't concentrate after that to get ready and leave. I spent most of Monday in smiles at work so excited for this coming back. God is so good and loves to surprise me!! Sure I'm gonna be super tired on Mondays at work after doing this but it will be worth it. I went Thursday and got a little reminder thing about all going on there. And that is so exciting. I was so nervous then so excited just recalling all this all I lost when it closed 3 years ago...

2. Work is busy and getting busier since I will be doing my show. I've told a few people to listen in if they up. I just want people to listen in. I work hard at my job and I love who I work for. Friday was a bit tough with a call out so was glad on Saturday we all here. Our worst day is still Tuesdays for sure. Not just cause I didnt used to work it we just so short handed :( 

3. Church is great and all. Unsure about the new thing the pastor talked to us about. But I still appreciate him and I am glad he is taking good care of us as a church. I miss our studies on Thursdays now Idk when we going back maybe not till end of August...

4. Thursday my sister took our cat Jackie to the vet. She has I guess flea bites she been scratching idk where she getting them from we never see fleas. Lost a small amount of weight. They did a blood draw and forced rabies vaccination on her. She laid around for two days but today finally is okay again. We gotta take care of our baby she will be 15 in a few weeks!

5. The 8th marked 25 years since I graduated from high school. Wow!! I wish we'd done a reunion. Boo we didn't so there is that :( but I did recall it and cant believe its been that long wow I feel so old

Well busy week ahead here. Weather acting up cold windy cloudy rainy and then hot sunny doesn't feel like June at all. Have a good week. God bless you :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, June 4th 2023)

Welcome to June!! I had a busy week last week so there you go. May is gone. Wow we half way through the year that is crazy stuff Summer is almost here!!

1. Oh June. June used to be a happy month for me. I loved it. My dog was born on June 8, 1988 but she died December 5, 2001. Rainbow I miss the most was born on June 23, 2002 and died October 12, 2019. This year I have again taken off work and made plans for the 23rd I can never work on her birthday or death day (October falls on a Thursday so I am good on that one!). Patches & Princess were both born sisters on June 28, 1992. Patches died September 6, 2004. Princess died January 6, 2010.  And our final pets Rocky & Jackie born June 26, 2008. We lost Rocky in 2021 and we still have Jackie our last baby. She will celebrate 16 years this month. We are taking her to the vet on Thursday she seems mostly healthy and we praying she lives many more years even if she is all we got. She's still more healthy then her brother was we miss all our furry children MOST born in June (by Maggie she was born in mid July 2004). 

2. End of May marked Memorial Day. It also marked my ex best friends birthday. I cant help thinking about her. We stopped being friends in 2012 shortly after we got forced to move back to California. I loved my friend and I never told her cause back then I didnt say I love you to anyone much especially not friends. I say it all the time now but that took a while to be okay with. Anyways. I am sad still at times I think about our friendship. I thought it was forever we had been friends since 1998. It was a huge lesson learned for me that friendship is fleeting. She also told me I was bitter in 2016 when I talked to her again saying I missed her. That was the last time we really talked. I was bitter and asked God for forgiveness for her and many others. It was the opening God used for me to come back the following year. Bitterness is horrible and I refuse to let it ever rule me again. Anyways happy birthday Deborah. 

3. Work busy as always. I hate being short handed. I hated Saturday most as my good friend co worker called out and I cant ask her why. I believe she was there today and I should see her tomorrow. It made me sad and I kinda got really upset and had to take 2 pills. This coming from thinking I was doing better. Ugh Ugh. I am still thank God clocking in every day on time off on time and making my 40hrs. This coming check I begin to save for vacation I am so excited for that coming up in a few months :) 

4. Church is gorgeous and wonderful. I love going to church. I love the hugs and the love and all the things that help me get by. Talking to my friends after too awesome. I took a long nap and a walk and not much else. My energy gets spent at work and then when Sunday comes I am just exhausted. Sigh

5. So I talked to my psychiatrist on Wednesday she is now changing my depokate dose to twice a day 500 from 250. So now I am taking it in the mornings and its making me so tired. I can switch to doing both at night. Its to help me deal with my anxiety I still have it and also so I wont take my other medicine as much. And yet Saturday I had to take 2 still anyways.... Thursday my therapist we haven't talked in 3 weeks. I had to talk about Michael, my co worker almost leaving and one more thing. She pointed out I have attachment issues that I attach myself to people and literally need to them to live. So I have done that with my co worker for now and that is why its so hard when she almost left me. :( my childhood trauma continues to haunt me so much. I am a mess. 

See you next week. Less this week so there is that. God bless you :) See you next weekend!! 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, May 28th 2023)

Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone!! Remember the true meaning of this holiday not just a 3 day weekend and beginning of Summer... I had a hard week hard but here I am again.

1. Work this week I did not call out. I am still thank God clocking in on time almost everyday instead of my clock in at 9 after almost all my shifts. I like clocking in on time and leaving on time and getting my full 40hrs each week. Plus it helps me look like a good employee. Work this week has been tough for me. More below.

2. Monday a week ago and a week after the whole finding out about my co worker dying my very good friend co worker told me she had broken up with her significant other and cause they live together she had NO place to live. She was going to have to either move with her sister in AZ or up by LA with her brother. She had no choice. I had a huge meltdown over this on Monday after work. I cried and cried and cried. We have bonded over the last year and I didnt think nor understand why God would allow this to happen. I witness to her and I am her friend and I need her. Yes I need her. Not like I need God I need God always but I do need her at work. And she needs me too. She was sure they'd not get back together she felt bad she knows how upset I was. She was gonna move by end of June. I went all week thinking she leaving and crying a lot. On Friday she shocked me to tell me they got back together and she is not leaving after all. I had been praying a lot and I know THIS is Gods will. I think it was just a big spiritual attack. So I was upset about her. And Michael my co worker I still miss him so much!! Work is just hard. I am not fully accepting he is gone yet. They had his memorial yesterday the 27th and I did not go because I had to work and would not want to leave early nor take the day off. I am saving for our vacation in the fall. Plus going would be so hard. It would make it real. It would mean he was gone for real and not coming back. Its the hardest as I dont know what he believed when he died. That hurts too. NOT knowing if someone was saved. :( I miss you Michael but I am so glad my co worker isn't leaving. Hard week like I said. 

3. Church was beautiful last week. It always is. I miss our Thursday study groups already. I know they are gonna do some more for Summer unsure when that will be. For now my Thursdays are mine alone. But yes I love church. I went to get my medicine after then came home and slept a while. I am always so tired. I took my walk in the evening. I love my Sundays. I need to get back to cleaning too I seem to not do much but at same time maybe that is okay. 

4. Thursday we got breakfast and then headed to the Safari Park for like 4hrs. It was a fun day. We didnt see the animals we usually see. Instead we weaved around the other side of the park. We also rode the tram first time since before covid. And the bats was open we got to see them. This only opened up a week ago after being close for 3 years!! I love those little guys :) 

5. A week ago I was sure I'd know by now if I got my radio spot back at KKSM. Idk why but I dont think I will be doing it for the summer. The semester begins tomorrow. For reasons I dont understand he didnt pick me. Maybe my limited schedule. I am trying to not be discouraged. Unless he is just late letting us know. I will for sure try in the fall. I just wish I knew why. He liked me. I think its not fare. And I am sad :( I do want to eventually get a job at a radio station but I need to get back on the radio for experience again before I can try for a real job sometime in the future. I'm not retiring at Walmart. 

Well this week is busy with 2 appointments. But not much else. Have a blessed week. See you all in June!! God bless you :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, May 21st 2023)

Sorry last week I didnt update I may go back. This week has been hard so lets get to it!

1. Mothers Day was a huge trial. Honestly. We had a lot of weird stuff happen day before and day of. Church was beautiful I love seeing all the mothers dressed up. So nice :) After my sister and me headed to the Carlsbad outlet to get a rubys gift card and we got a snack too. Then we had to wait for our parents to join us at the flower fields. Due to how crowded it was and them getting late we waited nearly 3hrs till they came from the time we parked and done waiting. So we got 2hrs from 4 to 6 but it was still a nice time. We had a blast. Well spent gift for mom! My favorite thing was the sunflowers I was in heaven walking among them. I took a TON of pictures. I was just like wow this is heaven to me. We rode the tractor all of us (free with admission for us idk why maybe cause misty in a wheelchair?), we didnt do the sweet pea maze sadly but all else. We had dinner at Rubys and cause I was exhausted and still dealing with my stupid sinus infection I came home and went right to bed. I was beat!

2. Thursday was our last Church time for a while. We finished 12 weeks of the first 8 chapters of Mark. We had a meeting and our pastor showed up well that not expected. Then we ate good food and took a picture. It was a fun time. I laughed and I almost cried. Its been a week of sadness. More below I'm leaving it for my last point.

3. Tuesday talked to a nurse and got more antibiotics for this sinus infection. They helping but this thing is a pest and Idk if its gonna be gone by time the medicine is this week ugh. Thursday got my shoulder looked at. A shorter appointment. Idk if the medicine helping me and I still in pain. The doctor still keeps saying no therapy it doesn't help. Idk what to think. Its just confusing. I may be living with this pain rest of my life I may have a forever injury in my shoulder just like my neck. I just need to just be at peace with it while praying for healing.

4. Work this week was shorter. I worked just 4 days. I called out on Wednesday I'd been wanting to call out for almost a week. I just needed what I did was sleep lots of it. I slept like 14hrs. This sinus infection is just draining me and lack of sleep isn't helping me.

5. On Monday the 15th I found out the most horrible news. My good friend co worker Michael died in a car accident the night before Mothers Day. I hadn't seen him since Friday he called out Saturday died that night. My heart is sad I am sad. I cried a lot in the first few days. Still every day I find a time to cry and I get set off. I dont know anymore if I'm sad cause I'm sad or its my grief that overwhelms me at times. I havent accepted his death. I keep thinking I'm gonna see him. I loved and cared about him but never told him. I should have. I looked out for him as he was 19 years younger then me. He died at 24. He would have been 25 this year. Idk where he is now. I cant worry about that but I did the first day especially. Its tough not knowing. And till I die I wont know. I just pray for his parents and peace and know that he died quickly and that is good. A few days after he died we stopped talking at work. I am unsure still if anyone else is as upset as I am. I am still upset!! I am still sad and I am still grieving. Grief has no time line. This is my first friend to die. I've lost relatives and I've lost pets but a friend. A co worker. Its just hard at work now. I feel alone in all this. I pray and reach out to Jesus and just rush to Him. Its hard. Church and prayer and hugs are hard. But I need them. I need hugs I need love and I need to know it will be okay. I need support and I need to let go. And of course this is one of those rare times my therapist doesn't talk to me for 3 weeks not 2 so we dont talk till next week. Its hard. Life is so fragile tell people you love them. It could be the last time. I dont understand. I'm crying now as I write this. I know as my co worker said he wouldn't want us sad for him. He wasn't that kinda person. He was kind and funny and made work easy. I miss him. I'll stop writing now as its making me cry really hard and its hard to type when I cant see the screen. I love you Michael and I pray one day I will see you again. I miss your jokes, your kindness, your friendship, the way we talked every day. I miss you!!!!

See you next weekend. This week is less of everything no more studies and no appointments. God bless you. :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, May 14th 2023)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, May 7th 2023)

Welcome to May!! How was your week? I am doing these on time so that makes me happy :) my week was a kinda mess a lot grateful to be on the other side of it.

1. Its been 13 years since the Nashville Floods that happened May 1st and 2nd. I had never been in a flood situation it was a scary couple of days. I was grateful we were spared while being sad so many lost so much. I still think about it every year this time. It made a huge impact on my life. I miss my Nashville I still am Nashville Strong!!

2. Church was beautiful on Sunday. I love the service and my family. I love coming home and napping long after doing 10 rocks till 2am. I love talks with my close friend that make me once again so thankful she in my life. Yes I love them Sundays.

3. Workouts this week just did a walk on Sunday. I wish I could get myself into walking everyday. I remember when I first heard I'd be stuck working Tuesdays and same schedule daily. I was like I can walk everyday. Now I am exhausted so I barely do walks at all. Unsure how to change I am just always so dang tired!!

4. Work this week busy busy. Began badly. Monday found out my dad accidentally threw my work vest with all my stuff in it in the trash and bye bye it went. Got late looking for it still so sad about this. My mom paid to replace most of my stuff but not all of it and not all was replaceable. Makes me sad :( Work was busy and stressful. I feel exhausted by Thursday and even more tired by Sunday. And then we begin again. Sigh. 

5. Thursday one of the leaders wanted to do lunch before the study so she picked me up. First my sister and me had breakfast. Then we got back home she came shortly after. We ate and talked and then went study. It was a nice day. She's so nice. I love our groups and I am sad we are now down to our last two sessions. I will miss doing these on Thursday evenings :(

Well this week is busy as well as always. Have a good one. God bless you :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, April 30th 2023)

Welcome. Good bye April you been sweet hello May tomorrow. How was your week? Doing this on time even if it right before bed :)

1. Work has been its usual busy insanity. I am starting to get into the groove of things. Still I hate when Monday ends and once I'm locked into unfun days Tuesday & Wednesday. I shouldn't be so stressed yet as I look upon tomorrow that begins my 3 in a row Idk what is coming either ugh. So yeah works busy stressful and ugly. 

2. My emotions have been so up and down this week. The worst day was Tuesday for work. I was just annoyed by everyone and everything. This was with tons of prayers and even a pill eventually. It just got to me. Idk why. It didnt end and I wish it had but I got by and was grateful for Wednesday. I thought I'd be super stressed but I was fine the whole day and not even as exhausted as I thought I would be end of day. Then come Thursday my worst day yet. It began okay I was in a good mood when I woke up. 7hrs felt nice. I had one of my energy zip drinks and it helped. We cleaned a little then got food at the beach haven't been there in a few weeks. ALL good. Got home the crazy of house life wasn't what made it bad but didnt help. It was when I couldn't go to the study and it was horrible. I know God was keeping me from the study I lost my rides twice. And gave up to crying all day, taking not one but two pills (not at once) avoiding shaving in fears of what I might try and going to bed just feeling like poop. I just was so drained! I hate missing church or studies I rarely miss church and this was my first study that I missed in a long time :( 

3. I did my psychiatrist on Wednesday and now we dropping at least my painful medicine that I felt wasn't helping me at all since January. As of this Thursday I will be free from its evil grasp on me. I am on once a day till then. And I will gladly say good bye on Thursday haha. Friday I had my therapy early at 8am. I had to hide in my sisters car for my appointment. It went good actually better then I thought and quiet (crazy dog next door always bugs the crap out of us barking all the time she not out till I almost done). So both appointments that closed together always are so tiring. So glad no appointments this week at all :)

4. I did a walk on Sunday my favorite evening walks so beautiful and calm. Even if its cooler out I love my walks in the evenings. And then after my bad day Thursday I gave myself a treat a walk which was helpful so I could cry and talk to Jesus and enjoy His creation. I love my walks. We almost tried back to gym this week but didn't happen tis so hard :( maybe next week unsure about this one. Shall see maybe Thursday ha

5. Church was beautiful Sunday. I love my hugs and love and laughs and things. There is nothing like my church time. Knowing I didnt get Thursday in I am great and always value my Sundays. I also love not working coming home for naps, walks and whatever I want to do. Yes I love my Sundays :) 

Have a blessed week. Shall see you next week in May. God bless you :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, April 23rd 2023)

Welcome. Two weeks in a row thats gotta be a record :) still haven't gotten back to the ones I missed :(

1. Work this week was shorter and stranger. On Monday I had to leave at 7 not 8 because my dad did a sleep study (that tbh was probably pointless but thats another thing to leave for later on). So I left and it was awkward I had to use 1hr PPTO. But it went smoothly and frankly I am just so glad that its over. I was also off on Friday (more below) so I only worked 4 days. Work has been slow at times. My worst days are Tuesdays & Wednesdays when I do happy to help at least half of my shift or more so. Its so dang stressful. I am just dead tired by end of my shift Wednesday my feet feel like they are bleeding. And thats with me taking sitting breaks when I can between calls.

2. Thursday I did my cortisone injection. It is a private practice. And for that reason I was there 2.5 hrs before I was seen (not 1.5 total) and then after done seen nearly 3 hrs!! Yikes!! The injection is a total BLESSING. I felt the immediate affects as the build up of swollen pain just went away top of my shoulder. Thanks to that and my real pain medicines my shoulder pain is much better PTL. Its just weird I am so used to being in pain so when I am not its just weird. Funny thing is I recently realized maybe because I just paying attention to my shoulder maybe not that my neck doesn't hurt like it used to. I thought that was an injury that was permanent and yet maybe not so. Gods got me. SO I took Friday off to rest. Which was mostly after I got my medicines was me sleeping a lot and icing a lot. 

3. Church beautiful as always. I love my church. I love the hugs and the prayers and the support. I even love how small it is. Yes I love my church Sundays are a blessing. And my first in two weeks before I got to relax after. That means I took a nap and a walk and not much else. 

4. Thursday church time with the ladies was blessed. I had just had my injection so I was feeling that and I was so hot I didnt realize that cortisone is a hormone and that why I so hot. Well after we done and I did miss a lot of ladies not here :( After we done the ladies played for my shoulder. I am not one to do this kinda thing. So doing this was a big deal. I thought it would be embarrassing it wasn't. It was love and I felt so much love surrounding me. Heck they ask again in the future should I need it I would for sure have them pray for me :) 

5. Monday I began my walk with worship that I believe God laid on my heart. I am so tired of falling asleep during quiet time. So I decided to go with this idea. I went on a walk and that is when I did my worship, prayer and quiet time. I went 40min. It wore me out, but because it was my quiet time I didnt have to get up earlier. And hey I got a walk in! I felt it all day at work. I was glad because I was able to just read my Bible and rest done and not fallen asleep. I decided due to how much happy I did to not do the walk on Tuesday & Wednesday. I may try it again in the future unsure see how I feel....

Wow we almost done with this month hard to believe that. Have a blessed week. Mine is busy for sure. God bless you :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, April 16th 2023)

Welcome. Sorry been behind on these idk why. But here we are. I finally posted one. Maybe I'll go back and finish the others eventually I guess. How was your week and such.

1. Sunday Easter we had fun. After church went to the Zoo me and my sister. They open till 7. We walked around and even saw some animals we hadn't seen yet at the zoo wow. Really was fun. Had dinner and came home and right to bed. Yes fun Easter He is risen!!

2. Church beautiful I love my church. I love Easter too. We had a lot of visitors praying lots come to know Jesus and keep coming back. I love the hugs and hey I even love wearing my new short dress it super cute and made me feel kinda pretty :) 

3. Work busy busy. This coming week will be less. But this past week busy. I do happy to help so often that its growing on me. But I am still exhausted by end of Wednesday after two days of doing it at least half my shift each time. I am always so glad to be off Thursday I am wore out by that day. Yup. 

4. Therapy going alright. I haven't talked in 3 weeks. I thought I had nothing to talk about but I had stuff. I need to learn to reframe things. I need to learn to not be so hard on myself. Even my therapist says I need to give myself a break grace stop pushing so hard. I wish I was better in this area I'm not. My empathy gets in the way. I am still working on this. Working on me is actually wearing me out. But I know its a good thing and that it will be okay.

5. Thursday also did our group after a week off. Lots of fun seeing everyone and back at it. Only 5 more to go I am gonna be sad. Its been a blessed 7 weeks so far of doing the book of Mark. I love all you ladies so much!

Well no promises to keep doing these weekly but hey we did today. Have a blessed day and week. God bless you all :)

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The Weekend 5 (Sunday, March 12th 2023)

Welcome. Been busy but still up on time hurray for being up on my day off :)

1. Finally got some sinus infection medicine in my system thank you God it appears to be working I am just a little concerned once I am off it tonight it will come back :( Praying for miracles. We one week from the race I dont want to deal with this on top of the race. Yuck. I hate being sick. I hate c*vid I hate what it did to my immunity system its such a mess. :( :( 

2. Church was beautiful. I got to talk to my friends. I got hugs. I didnt have to work after. In fact on my day off I came home had a nice walk took a small nap and just relax. I leave Sundays open. I'll plan stuff but honestly I'm okay if I dont do much. I know its my only other day off so I did paint my rocks so I can work on them this week. But still. I dont do too much. Thursday church was great too. I loved it so much!! I love the Bible studies. I am enjoying my fellowship with my crazy loving sisters that love me so darn much its unbelievable I feel so blessed with each one of them in my life. :)

3. Work busy busy. Worked my usual work schedule no call outs. I did a whole lot of happy to help which made for me being super tired. My Tuesday & Wednesday especially a lot of happy. I do it I try to not complain but it does get to me like it did SATURDAY. Yesterday I had a melt down at work when I was overwhelmed too much over the walkie anyone could hear was hearing it. I took a pill I was okay after I stopped happy and took that. Just was not a nice day too much got to me and I just collapsed under it all boo :(

4. Workouts not much this week. The weather was my factor and being sick. I did a walk Sunday and another one on Thursday. Yup. We didnt clean this week either. But the weather man lots of rain several days just over this. I know we *need* rain but we at the point where its too much too fast. A little at a time not so much its snowing people into their houses where they get snow. Pretty tough. 

5. Thursday talked to my therapist. She's kinda worried about me says I need to speak to someone weekly and longer not what they offer. I was okay and still am with what they offer. But honestly it just shocked me and threw me in a loop. It upset me pretty badly. I had a bad day on Tuesday at work so bad I worried myself and reached out for the first time in months for prayer from people. I know God is bigger then this. I just still am afraid of ME my emotions where I dip and when the next crazy episode is gonna be. Twice this week at work not fun at all :( I'm so tired of fighting this!!

Well this week is busy and then next Sunday is our hot chocolate race. Praying for no rain. God bless you all. See you next week.  :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, March 5th 2023)

Welcome to the month of March. And nearly doing this on time perfectly. Just evening not morning. Hey I tried. Enjoying my Sundays off slowly getting used to the freedom they come with.

1. Work is going alright. I am still adjusting to the new schedule. I am slowly finding the energy to do it but boy let me tell ya the days are all long. I recall my 1 to 10 was the longest day, and my shortest was 9 to 6. Now they are all the middle all day shift 11 to 8. I am also getting used to using Sundays for things. That is something that is taking time. But its okay. It took me over 4 years to get used to my first schedule and now it could take just that long to take for the new one. That is if I am still at the company in 4 more years.

2. Workouts not that much. I am at the point where I am unsure if we will get to experience one gym trip before our race in 2 weeks!! Between my new schedule and getting over being sick. Blah. But I managed one walk this week which was fine. I am grateful the weather is calming down. Part of my reason hasn't been being sick its the weather of cold and rainy most days for most weeks. Ugh. Please rain be gone for now at least till we pass the race. 

3. Been sick is ick. That is my game ha. Okay I am still sick 2 weeks later I will be trying this week to try see someone by phone of course. I need to get this figured out before race day. Why did a cold and cough become the plague and take over me and are leaving at a sloth slow pace. I blame c*vid I truly do that stupid crap wrecked my immune system so every time I get sick it turns into a sinus infection. :( booh I hate being sick

4. Sunday church was beautiful so many hugs. And I love Thursdays too. Its double the fun. Its almost addicting. I love doing church twice a week and I am loving where we meeting this time and we meeting for longer then the Fall one met. I keep forgetting this time last year I was in my small group loving it but hating not having the ability to see everyone that is my joy this year. Sunday I finally able to enjoy my first one off. I cleaned some and did some stuff. I got a lot done and more than I planned. I am taking Sundays as they come. I am planning stuff while not deciding for sure what I will be doing so NO pressure to do anything. My main things I want are: church, basics, and hopefully something else productive like cleaning or even painting rocks which I am doing today.

5. As far as my health goes. I am seeing the doctor by phone next Tuesday to see if I will be on birth control. The way my emotions are still going I think I need to try it even if it sucks and it doesn't work. I want it to work so badly. But I am still afraid to try it. I will discuss this all when we talk next week. This week should be my therapy but no go for sure maybe being hopeful. I got my MRI set up yes!! No shoulder therapy till the 16th cause my therapist is having some sort of procedure done. So I have put it off and will continue :( sadness. 

Well have a good week. Next week will be busy. Lots of appointments. Have a bless one. God bless you. Be safe. Stay warm. See you when the clock goes ahead and spring lovely begins. :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, February 26th 2023)

Honestly trying to catch up on these. IDK if my ADHD is on some fritz or its my anxiety and depression but whatever. I just couldn't seem to find interest to keep these up for 3 full weeks!! This is my current I'll work on the other two when I can. I have a minute on my 2nd Sunday of freedom and working on this for the past week. Wow February is gone in a few days....crazy

1. Work this past week was shorter as I am still dealing with being sick and idk what disease I got thrust on me after my throw up episode on the 18th but it was not funny!! So I called out of work on Wednesday and I hope this coming week I can work my Wednesday. I wanna work one full week of my new schedule since two times it was messed up the first week began it. Yuck. So no work Wednesday. 

2. Been sick still am. Idk what I got. I doubt its c*vid but it could be something else or just a cough/cold. We are 3 weeks from our hot chocolate race whatever this is it better be gone by then or I will not be a happy person. So day after throw up I wanted to just cough my throat a mess from the like 5x I threw up on Saturday. But my chest hurt. I couldn't do nothing but noticed my nose so stuffed up. I thought at first I just imaging something going on. But by Monday when I could cough better it got worse. Now I had a full blown cough and cold that came out of nowhere soon as the throw up stopped. I blame c*vid and the stuff it did to my immunity. I just dont like this. I swear if I get c again I am probably gonna die if thats how I'm gonna die yes I will :( over this

3. Church was beautiful. I had church on Sunday I felt like crap after I had just done what I did Saturday. But I felt good enough to come and at that point I was sure it was not anything but my medicine. So I had fun my first Sunday off but had to sleep a lot. Thursday began our Womens Study at my friends house. Which felt odd as she not there....she says she will be there after this haha. Okay I hope so. I love we back to studies on Thursdays and this time much longer. Its 12 weeks in the book of Mark :) One more props. So our new pastor he is just awesome. God is using him not only to give me the support mentally I need but heal me from what happened with my ex former pastor. Its like two things in one. A healing and a supporting. Its kinda amazing. So he prayed with me at church in person after the day before praying with me over the phone. Yes God please continue to heal me. Its gonna be a long process but yes I am healing God is healing me PTL

4. We had RAIN I mean it. I mean sometimes they predict and I am like nope. NO this was real stuff. Snow in weird places like Hollywood. Blizzards and tornados and hail and all that. Just no thunder n lightning the stuff that makes it fun. I would have sworn we in TN on Friday the worst day of it. Wind rain and all that. Wow. And its coming back this week different storm. I am kinda done with all this rain. So I truly hope this weeks is the last for a while yes please

5. I did my psychiatrist appointment on Wednesday we have now got my newer since January medicine 3x a day, put a hold on the other stuff and keep Prozac same. Thursday talked to my therapist set myself off cause I was so bad. And it could be the last time we speak for a month :( trust me this does not sit right with me at all. I need the support I get from talking twice a month. So praying I can get in still next week. Or we gonna need a longer session then 30min in 3 weeks instead!

Whelp I caught this up. See you all next weekend. Fingers crossed by then we can catch up this mess. Have a good week. Stay dry and warm. God bless you :)

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, February 19th 2023)

 This week

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, February 12th 2023)

This week

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, February 5th 2023)

Welcome to February. Sorry this is another combo of two weeks. When I went to post the last one on my twitter it wouldn't so that frustrated me and I had a bad week last week emotionally. More below. Try to be on time from now on. 

1. Work is just a bit too much for me right now. Drama with my co workers. And then the hours and now they are forcing us to all be on a set schedule. For me that means NOT work Sundays & Thursdays which used to be since I began Tuesdays & Thursdays. It begins February 18th and I will work 11 to 8 each time. I am sad I am losing my Sundays I actually liked them. I need more than one week day off for appointments. This means if I do my radio show in the future I will have to work it early around this schedule. I cant do any more classes in person at school even if I wanted to. Unless its once a week ha. More stuff. No more church on Tuesdays evenings after I tried the women's group once I meant to go back and now that is gone. However I will love Sundays off. It will be nice. To go to church then come home or if they have an event go to that too. I will love getting days off I normally ask for off like Mothers Day, Fathers Day and Easter. And this year I wont work on Christmas Eve. Like I said there are perks but I am not doing the schedule yet and already I see issues. I hate also working that late on Mondays & Saturdays. But I wont miss my 1 to 10 on Wednesdays. This year I swear is shaping up to be a lot like last year. 

2. On the 24th my sister and me hung out with my cousin and her son. It was a fun time actually. We met up at Boomers in Irvine it used to be Palace Park when we growing up. We played mini golf and we rode the go karts (yes I was the winner woohoo), and got dinner at Lazy Dog. Yummy place. Too bad in the future no more Tuesdays with them.

3. I had my therapy on the 26th. And this week I had my psychiatrist appointment. My medicine is sticking around but splitting it in 2 pieces same pill twice a day same dose. I'm so confused. I also am trying to get an ultrasound again to maybe take birth control, an MRI for my shoulder, and then an injection also for my shoulder. I am a huge work in progress fyi 

4. Church is a beautiful thing. I love the new building. I love the new pastor. I love it all. I sure to miss so many still not with us anymore. Life in the last year hasn't been fun as I wish for me for the last year. But I still love it all. Yes I do. 

5. Tuesday the 31st we went to Sea World intending to cancel our passes this month I am unsure now. We had so much fun we might just keep them at least till end of this month LOL. We in 3 hours did so much stuff. It was just crazy how much we did. We even found the sloths I got to see a sloth IN REAL LIFE. After countless trips to the zoo and sea world trying to see the ones or one they had or maybe dont anymore. So fun. 

Whelp busy month we are in. Moms birthday & valentines Day same day, new work schedule. And we heading towards our next hot chocolate race which means we are not ready to walk/run 6 miles not 3 :) Have a blessed week. God bless you :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, January 22nd 2023)

Yes up on time!!! Welcome. How was your week?? Ours was wet windy and stormy. That was just some of our weather haha!!

1. Work is always so busy. This last week most days was usual. But Sunday was slower which was shocking. Not as shocking as Monday a holiday. Around 4 when I back from lunch and settled in the front we began to get so busy insanity. It stress me out cause I just dont do good still when its busy at work :( this weekend hope will be back to normal :)

2. Church is beautiful. We sang to my close friend on her birthday. The rain stopped long enough to get through church. It was just fun giving her the rocks I made for her. I painted her 62 rocks one for every year she alive. I cant wait to see how she sets up her rock garden. Sure it was heavy and took the last month painting them up cause I always wait till last minute. Who cares. I love her and I loved seeing her reaction she so sweet when she told me after I gave her the other gifts "the rocks would have been enough" awe :*) 

3. Workouts have begun. We are now 2 months till our next race we doing the 10K which means 6 miles not 3. It will be an adventure trying to get into shape. So we did skip gym with plans to go this next week. But I did walks this week Tuesday, Wednesday & Friday. Go me! I was gonna Thursday but I felt kinda crappy (see below) so I just skipped it :( 

4. My days off were spent doing stuff. On Tuesday I talked to my co worker on the phone for almost 1.5 hours it was so fun I love her a lot :) Thursday we went to get breakfast out after we cleaned for the first time in weeks and not even for the full hour. After we ate we walked on the beach for a few and I got some rocks to begin for my friends garden next week. I was gonna do some kid rocks this week but I felt so crappy. I been all over the place this week so it didnt happen. Next weekend for sure all of them that is

5. I began therapy again for my shoulder on Wednesday. It was nothing like before this new guy well a new place new guy treated me special cause this is an old injury. I barely got it stretched out. He's being careful and cautious as I have pain all the time and I finally get why. Its so complicated. I let me bloody I felt guilty come over me and that is why I cried my eyes out later on. I also had called of work cause I been getting headaches that I realize now are probably migraines not tension headaches. It wouldn't go away and my face felt funny plus another thing too. So I called out used my PPTO I had. So after therapy I back home to relax. And later have a meltdown. My body dont like the new medicine or my old one. So I have had an incredibly large amount of emotional days in the last week. Sunday, Monday, Wednesday all bad days. I am grateful for the good days like Tuesday & Thursday each day I supposed to be off I didnt cry not once. Less then 2 weeks till I talk to my psychiatrist.... my mental health is complicated :/ 

Well see you all next week. The last Sunday of this month. Can you believe it? We already almost through the first month of the new year already. My sister made this joke cause so much bad stuff happening already this month she concerned for the new year. She said she's worried that January is just the new year pulling back like a car you play with as a kid and its gonna let lose and fly and not be a good year. I am trying to not think that way but what she said did make me laugh a lot :) See you next week. God bless you :) 

The Weekend 5 (Sunday, January 15 2023)

Hello. Doing 2 weeks again. No comment. I meant to do this last week then I didnt so here we are. Oh well try harder next time

1. Had my dental appointment on the 5th. My cleaning since 4 months. I came to think I'm paying $50 and ended up a lot more because my teeth got worse and I needed a toothbrush. So there you go. I see them again gladly not again till May!

2. Church is beautiful. We did CG the last two Sundays gladly we wont for a few weeks at least. Didnt do that great. Did mess up. I'm sorry I am so tired ugh. Other then the its an okay time. I DO love our new building we began there on the 1st and its really close to home. So much good here. God is working on our church. 

3. Work is busy busy. I am still only working 36hrs a week but I haven't called out since last year go me. So there is that. I deal best I can. I try to not stress. Then I stress too much. My emotions get to me round and round we go. blah

4. Workouts I did a walk this week yeah go me. I am also trying to start to ride the bike at home. Last week I couldn't do walks cause it was raining nearly everyday I could walk. Yeah about that. I know we need rain but sometimes it seems like too much.

5. This week I had my psychiatrist on Tuesday she gave me a new medicine to see if my prozac is okay I could have done something else. On it a few days nothing bad so far unsure yet if its working or how long it takes. On Thursday therapy. We talked a lot. I had a lot to talk about. I almost always do. I am grateful to be able to talk things out with my therapist. 

well well well we are like half way through this month already. Hope your new year is going well. Mine is okay some days I'm living most I am surviving I have to know that both are okay and just play each day as it lies and trust God. God bless you. See you in a week :)