Welcome November. I am unsure at this point if I am doing the NaNoWriMo. I have done it EVERY year since 2008! Without fail I do it time after time it was 10 years last year going strong. But this year with all this happening, me being tired all the time, very busy, I am unsure if I have time to pop out another crap 50K novel I will never edit. Sorry my negative is coming out tonight. Not easy day. Ugh. So we shall see. I will try to pull it out my behind and if something sticks will continue. On top of that I am behind on church messages, homework and working on show 12 for school. I haven't even applied for FASA yet and that should have happened last month :(
1. I miss you Rainbow every single day. 3 weeks now of this mourning I am not over it. I think I never will be. It hurts too much. I need someone to hug me. I was crying at work today cause I was put in garden for 1.5hours and that was it. I was all over the place. This is why I stopped with eye makeup and now all makeup. The chance of me crying is 100% the location is anything. I just cry so much. I have never cried so much. I am noticing my eyes look extra red around the edges and a bit puffy. Ugh. I just dont care anymore. My depression is in full swing. I do smile sometimes and finally feel less guilty about that one. I prayed for my guilt to be taken Jesus is faithful I dont feel guilty anymore. I had a dramatic amount of guilt on myself over her. But I am still exhausted I am still tired I am still mourning my baby I MISS HER SO MUCH!!!!
2. GYM did it twice wow think about it. The second time wasn't so fun. I forgot my shoes and bought $5 pack of socks at the grocery store and worked out in them. My poor feet did not thank me at all! The pain was real that night and the next day too. But yeah twice not bad.
3. School great. Not great losing my voice. A month since my sore throat issue I am half losing my voice and its still half gone. I spent my whole show 11 sounding like I was going to cry. Yes it was no fun. :( but I always have fun. Please say this wont be over after this year oh please! Thursday I returned to school on Halloween to do my PSA and also my golden mic stuff. I tried!
4. Work is okay. New boss messing with our schedules. Cutting my hours, changing my Mondays and Saturdays while giving me all morning or mid shifts is blah. I am unsure. But I cant complain. I will try to fix it some of it but still yeah about that.
5. Its been 12 years since we got on our way and moved to TN. What a trip there! Life was sure different back then before facebook or twitter. A journey that was not supposed to happen but was supposed to. I do not regret that trip our move at all. I love TN and I miss it terribly. So yeah 12 years wow nuts.
Sick be gone. Half way through my 4 in a row. Have a good one everyone. I am not doing my 30 days of thankful or my 30 days of poetry either. I am such a mess right now. I am barely surviving and truth is I am not really doing that either. :(
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