Sorry last week I didnt update I may go back. This week has been hard so lets get to it!
1. Mothers Day was a huge trial. Honestly. We had a lot of weird stuff happen day before and day of. Church was beautiful I love seeing all the mothers dressed up. So nice :) After my sister and me headed to the Carlsbad outlet to get a rubys gift card and we got a snack too. Then we had to wait for our parents to join us at the flower fields. Due to how crowded it was and them getting late we waited nearly 3hrs till they came from the time we parked and done waiting. So we got 2hrs from 4 to 6 but it was still a nice time. We had a blast. Well spent gift for mom! My favorite thing was the sunflowers I was in heaven walking among them. I took a TON of pictures. I was just like wow this is heaven to me. We rode the tractor all of us (free with admission for us idk why maybe cause misty in a wheelchair?), we didnt do the sweet pea maze sadly but all else. We had dinner at Rubys and cause I was exhausted and still dealing with my stupid sinus infection I came home and went right to bed. I was beat!
2. Thursday was our last Church time for a while. We finished 12 weeks of the first 8 chapters of Mark. We had a meeting and our pastor showed up well that not expected. Then we ate good food and took a picture. It was a fun time. I laughed and I almost cried. Its been a week of sadness. More below I'm leaving it for my last point.
3. Tuesday talked to a nurse and got more antibiotics for this sinus infection. They helping but this thing is a pest and Idk if its gonna be gone by time the medicine is this week ugh. Thursday got my shoulder looked at. A shorter appointment. Idk if the medicine helping me and I still in pain. The doctor still keeps saying no therapy it doesn't help. Idk what to think. Its just confusing. I may be living with this pain rest of my life I may have a forever injury in my shoulder just like my neck. I just need to just be at peace with it while praying for healing.
4. Work this week was shorter. I worked just 4 days. I called out on Wednesday I'd been wanting to call out for almost a week. I just needed what I did was sleep lots of it. I slept like 14hrs. This sinus infection is just draining me and lack of sleep isn't helping me.
5. On Monday the 15th I found out the most horrible news. My good friend co worker Michael died in a car accident the night before Mothers Day. I hadn't seen him since Friday he called out Saturday died that night. My heart is sad I am sad. I cried a lot in the first few days. Still every day I find a time to cry and I get set off. I dont know anymore if I'm sad cause I'm sad or its my grief that overwhelms me at times. I havent accepted his death. I keep thinking I'm gonna see him. I loved and cared about him but never told him. I should have. I looked out for him as he was 19 years younger then me. He died at 24. He would have been 25 this year. Idk where he is now. I cant worry about that but I did the first day especially. Its tough not knowing. And till I die I wont know. I just pray for his parents and peace and know that he died quickly and that is good. A few days after he died we stopped talking at work. I am unsure still if anyone else is as upset as I am. I am still upset!! I am still sad and I am still grieving. Grief has no time line. This is my first friend to die. I've lost relatives and I've lost pets but a friend. A co worker. Its just hard at work now. I feel alone in all this. I pray and reach out to Jesus and just rush to Him. Its hard. Church and prayer and hugs are hard. But I need them. I need hugs I need love and I need to know it will be okay. I need support and I need to let go. And of course this is one of those rare times my therapist doesn't talk to me for 3 weeks not 2 so we dont talk till next week. Its hard. Life is so fragile tell people you love them. It could be the last time. I dont understand. I'm crying now as I write this. I know as my co worker said he wouldn't want us sad for him. He wasn't that kinda person. He was kind and funny and made work easy. I miss him. I'll stop writing now as its making me cry really hard and its hard to type when I cant see the screen. I love you Michael and I pray one day I will see you again. I miss your jokes, your kindness, your friendship, the way we talked every day. I miss you!!!!
See you next weekend. This week is less of everything no more studies and no appointments. God bless you. :)
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