Weekend 5 (Sunday, June 30th 2013)

One last day in June and its today Sunday tomorrow we go to JULY...yikes!!

1. Workouts this week have been nearly gone. I walked or didn't walk and that was it. 2nd week of this which is bad. I was doing so good with Zumba. Its the heat I tell you and I blame it for my lack of sleep and energy. Today wasn't as bad but still not cool out. Yesterday not as bad either but went to bed too late. Thursday and Friday the heat woke me around noon even if I was getting up a few hours later it took forever to go back to sleep and that included switching sides of my bed, changing to cooler clothes and putting my bean bag ice bag on my head! I think I get hot flashes when I sleep I always wake up so hot when its hot out. HOPE this week to get back to workouts although Wed is up in the air due to the Oceanside celebration in downtown going to go see the fireworks cause my sister works the 4th. Tomorrow & Friday I should be go to actually workout. Shall see and shall try!

2. I had my first interview in a month plus on Wed this is a big one. It was for the new ROSS store opening by us. The group interview was about a half hour long and took place at the ROSS about 15 min from our house. The new store is 5 to 10 min away, opens mid July. We were told we should know about our background checks by Tue this week. But when I called the other day to update my reference phone number from my last job she told me they are still interviewing through Tue and IF they decide to do a background check they will call me. So I really don't know whats going on. I am hoping they give me a shot they are hiring 50 people. Minus it affecting ComicCon, needing shoes and a shirt I have the pants. And if I could just work there even 25hrs a week and then get a job at PetsMart in Nov I could save money again and you know have jobs that wont go away at end of season. I have not had a non-seasonal job since Borders took me on after the season in 2008! That's a LONG TIME to not have a non-seasonal job! I have all but given up on LL they might consider me again in the fall but that's not till November same time as PetsMart. Walmart opens in Sept. With UE still up in the air I honestly don't know what I will do if it doesn't getting extended and I don't have a job soon. God is in control but I worry too much more than I ever should :/

3. Tuesday the 25th marked 4 years since Michael Jackson died. I will never forget that day or how I found out. I was sitting in McDonald's in Franklin killing time till my shift began at Borders which was across the street. My sister text me she had heard it at her other job. I didn't have the ability to go online so I sent the picture out there to twitter or fb unsure and got a reply. ChaCha was no help and I had no other way to confirm. I was then the one who went to Borders and told my assistant manager and a few co-workers! Sad sad day. In honor of MJ I played the wii game 4 songs total. I haven't in so long I forget how much fun it is. I also listened to his music on my ipod for a few hours (I've collected most of his cd's over the years and keep them on there one of the few artist that I have all theirs songs of). I have been keeping his kids in prayers since the whole thing with Paris. I cant imagine their pain but I lift them up. We miss you MJ king of pop and it still doesn't seem like you are gone too soon!

4. The 28th marked Patches & Princess birthday. I still miss my Princess so much I ended up crying at some point. I know she is happy with her sister. They would both be 21. But got stolen from us by diseases out of our control. Patches died just over 12 years old in 2004 and Princess by grace of God held on till January 2010 she was almost 18. She relied on her sister so much since they were born that it was amazing. I think our love and maybe even getting Maggie right after Patches passed kept her going. She even made it to TN with us and grew to accept Rocky. (Neither her nor Maggie have ever liked Jackie unsure why). I miss you two and I believe I will see you again someday soon!

5. Ending this on a happy note. Rocky & Jackie celebrated their 5th birthday on the 26th. Although we know they were born in June as they both in heat in December as all our June pets in past have (Rainbow, Cocoa my dog and Patches & Princess) we will never know their actual day so we had to make one up. I was going to give them the 25th and then MJ died so we changed to 26th. Its hard to believe we have had them almost 5 years (in Sept). You know God knows plans things we don't understand. A year before we had tried to get two kittens. And then a year later cause God has a sense of humor they were dropped on us. We tried for months to adopt them out but ended up keeping them. I don't regret it. They bring joy to our lives and hearts. And are loved by everyone who meets them. May they have many years with us and not suffer any health issues like our other cats in past...(I can hope right?)

Ending with this...last week I admitted I had a skin problem OCD thing Dermatillomania. If you read this blog and know of any info on how to stop please let me know. I have been scratching myself a lot lately and its starting to hurt again. The only thing I do different is I don't scrub but I manage to daily several times just scratch up there. Sometimes nothing happens sometimes skin or something comes off. Its red and looks wrong. And I don't know how to stop. I do it when I am bored, stressed, tired or just hot. I have no idea how to stop this on my own and I want to stop but for now it seems impossible to stop. So if you know any tips please lmk comment in the blog or msg me on twitter @monkeywriter. Thanks in advance!!

Weekend 5 (Sunday, June 23rd 2013)

Happy Birthday to my little Rainbow...and more about that below!

1. First of all its SUMMER!! First day was on Friday. Its been an okay week the weather doesn't change much for us beach people until like July and August and then it might warm up a bit or maybe not at all. Some days are clear, some days are cloudy some days are sunny and some clouds. Breezy all the time. Welcome to the life by the beach. And Summer is here. Its wonderful truly. The 20th I celebrated in my own way ha my half birthday I am now half way to 34. A dead center to look back and realize the first 6 months since my 33rd have been crap and hope the next 6 will be better (a job would be nice IF nothing else!). Workouts have been okay but not much. I have done just walks this week sadly. I only felt like walks all the days I did them this week. I even planned on a long Zumba on Friday and only a walk. Today being my babies birthday is a long walk and that's it. Oh well back to norm next week!

2. Saw two movies this week. First of all "Man of Steel" was excellent. I was unsure about seeing this film not that I don't love Superman but they keep re-doing his films. But hey I wasn't disappointed. It was a different take, some stuff I never saw in any of the other films. An actor not that well known. And an actress I love. Yes I loved the film. Minus the guy who came alone and brought his screaming baby who kept having to be taken out like he could sleep through a 2.5hr movie that was mostly action! We went to the theater in Vista for Man of Steel a bit nicer seats. Then saw later that day "Now You See Me" again at Regal. Its a good film and twice for it still good. I will not complain and I looked too close and barely saw anything I didn't see the first time...oh well :)

3. I have lots of hopefuls on jobs in the future and there you go. I am still WORRIED about unemployment its so up in the air in August and I will be in big trouble if its gone. I did apply for a job at two different Barnes & Nobles in San Diego. ROSS hasn't gotten back to me yet I applied last Sunday at night. And a new grocery store. I will be checking with all 4 of those on Tue this week see if I can get any answers. Hopeful yes.

4. I am admitting I pretty sure I have an OCD thing called "Dermatillomania" and I think I have always had it. You pick at your skin till it bleeds. Anything zits, scabs, etc. Its gotten really bad for me. 3 years ago in AZ it was extra hot out and it started out with me thinking back of my ears were dirty. I don't know if it was dirt ever. But I started to scratch all the time and scrub them in the shower every other day. Its gotten bad I scrub till they bleed sometimes or the skin is raw and red. I have for the last week been trying to not scratch but its not easy. I do it still all the time or feel like I have to. I just need to stop. I don't scrub anymore but it still itches. I was scratching and rubbing skin off and not allowing it to heal. ADD I have that OCD some, some autism big mess. I am unsure how to stop doing this I hate hurting myself but I keep doing it and it wont go away anytime soon.

5. Happy 11th Birthday to my dog Rainbow today. I love her so much! She is my kid and I love her like that. I am unsure if I have ever loved an animal more than I love her. I don't think she will die anytime soon she is healthy and still acts like a puppy. Still so young at heart. So far she has gotten her toy and I have taken pictures. I will take her on a walk in a few minutes then later tonight ice cream. I am not leaving her like I did last year. I love you Rainbow always!!!!

Next Sunday last day and last Sunday in June?!?! What???

Weekend 5 (Sunday, June 16th 2013)

Half way through the month of June with just two more Sundays to go...yikes!!

1. Someday might not come for some. I think we should all be living in the moment. I am stressing to myself and others to stop saying someday. I have so many things I want to do someday and someday is today. It is. Whether you want it to be or not. Biggest goals for me in the future: continue to work on my memoir blogs, look into publishing my cloud picture book and work on publishing my memoir type book from my livejournal blog for the time I was in college (2001-2004) and possibly longer. My someday wont come for Myspace which is why I stress that. If you have a page with them and don't know this because like me you don't visit they have rebooted the whole thing and its all GONE. They took away all my videos, blogs and pictures. I had hundreds of pictures that I only had on there and on my old computer that got a screen cracked. I don't even know where that computer is right now. I was STUPID enough to save them to my computer and not keep the emails and then put them online and didn't know that myspace would do that. I will be deleting them soon. I also lost all my things from my business page including my demo and package from CSB. Unless I locate the dvds sometime soon I wont have them. I never even put them on youtube. I will NEVER AGAIN trust using online stuff online for stuff. I need backups for all my stuff. Tech is wonderful and terrible same time. So trust me someday might not come. Don't keep planning someday and putting it off because tomorrow could come and sometimes you wanted to always do may never happen like me never able to save my pictures again on myspace. STUPID social site!!

2. Well its Fathers Day. Since I am not married yet and have no "Father In-Law" I have just my dad. He is still alive and well. And doing a business on Amazon. He chose unlike my mom to not go out to eat. So he grilled steaks for my mom and him. And burgers for me and my sister. Now they are off for a drive by the beach. We didn't get him much but since usually its just a gift card. Got him "nearly new" BACK TO THE FUTURE DVD BOX SET. And breakfast from IHOP he reheated today. It was a nice day. My sister works but I saw him. And its all good. Beautiful Fathers Day. Hope its been a beautiful day for all the dads out there!! :)And since I have a heavenly Father who is my real dad thank for all you do for me because I will never understand the love I have from the one who created me and sent His Son to die for me (and the world)

3. The weather has been simply wonderful. Most days are sunny and some days are cloudy. We live by the beach. I wish we had a pool to swim in. Our neighbor does but we cant use that unless we ask and although we joked about it that has never happened yet. I want to look into public pools see if any are open in the area for a small fee. We used to go those a lot during the Summer as a kid. Our backyard is full of rocks so we cant put a pool of any sort back there. NO WAY would I do it in the front. This is my 2nd Summer now without a pool. We have the beach but that's not right here now its 15 min away drive or 1hr by bike. I have gotten all my Summer clothes now. Last night blessed to find tank tops for cheap at Walmart I got 3 new ones (my last new tank tops were in AZ so its been 2 or 3 years I don't get new clothes often). I now have shorts of course got those last month and sandles. If I got a new swim suit it would be a bonus. Happy and Summer is 1 week away!!

4. Workouts this week have been going alright. I am still just doing ZUMBA, Walk and bike. This time last year I was training for the Color Run that takes place in Oct this year. Unsure because of no job and UE might be gone in Aug if I can do it this year shall see. But I still work out. Not only is it good for me but gives me something to do and look forward to. Might get back to wiifit too soon and MJ games fun. I want to do some wii sports I haven't done those in ages. Yes working out is fun. I want to bike but my sister works all the time and I feel odd biking without her so for now that's on hold :(

5. Tuesday was interesting. While my poor sister was suffering at the DMV taking the written test 3x (failed first two) having not known that was required for her license. I was at the mall in Mission Valley. I haven't been there in 6 years since 2007. Its the same small and quiet and there. I was sad some places I wanted to apply with across the street. No coffee place just coffee stands no starbucks. I did get a boba drink NO complaints I love boba milk tea. Blended wasn't bad but maybe next time just do ice. I love boba. We had a rough day. AMC has changed to moves before 4 not 6 are $10.75. We couldn't afford $12.50 we found this out after we both went to Fashion Valley Mall. So ended up at La Jolla mall went to some food places. All good fun. It was a nice time love San Diego. Odd nice day.

till next weekend and my babies 11th birthday see ya!

Weekend 5 (Sunday, June 9th 2013)

2nd Sunday in June (3 more to go...)

1. Been a boring week. Not a good one just boring. Hence my first thing here is talking about that. I went out of the house twice this week (Tue & Sat). Inbetween I sat at home and tried to find stuff to do. If you want to know why I go to bed late and get up late you have to know that with nothing pressing on me to do but look for work its hard to even want to get up earlier or go to bed earlier. It got me so bad that on Tuesday night after going out for half the day I broke down and started crying. It was making me so depressed to think of THREE WHOLE DAYS where I would be home and not going out. Its really getting to me not going out all the time, not working. Its really not fun at all for me. I am going crazy. I now know that every night I need to plan next day I will be doing stuff. I am taking out time to sit outside and take book notes at night. I am working out (more below) every other day. I am reading books again (after several nights of not doing it even if I have stuff to read). I am trying to just be okay and keep living day to day. NOT easy but can be done. We did see "Now You See Me" on Tuesday. Excellent film might see again this week shall see. But its good I do recommend it.

2. Jobs this week blah nothing. I applied to my usual 5 per week and got nothing from it. LL continues to not be hiring for anything (I check daily with them) and even if they are hiring they don't contact me for those I apply with. I pray nightly for a change of heart I really don't know what else to do. If that's not bad enough I just realized when my paperwork came for UE that I sent in today by online that I only have enough checks to take me thru July. I have 1 more in June, 2 in July and then just 1 check in August that wont be my usual $176 but just $88. I thought by now I would have a job this a nightmare. I thought my UE would go till next year it doesn't expire till January. In the fall I have a few possible new stores opening. I wrote to UE when I found this out on Fri I am praying for a second interview if I have to but more UE till I can get a job. If I don't I will be okay thru July and August but come Sept I will be in trouble. I will have just enough for the storage unit and one movie in August and that's it come Sept I will be screwed. Hope they write me soon and let me know what is going on.

3. The weather has been okay it is June. We live in California and by the beach hence June Gloom. And we have been getting it daily. Today its sunny, yesterday it was partly sunny. But sometimes its sunny half the day then cloudy. Unsure how the mornings are but I think cloudy. Welcome to Cali. My sunflowers are beautiful unsure how much longer they will be alive. But I water them daily and got a bamboo stick I am trying to use to hold up the one that is leaning because the roots came in sideways (no idea why). But so far its only helping a little since its way shorter then the actual flower that its trying to hold up. I wont give up. But every day I take 4 pictures of the flowers (1 of each with my phone and 1 of each with my ipod). I figure enjoy every day I have them incase its the last...

4. Workouts this week have been awesome. By sure will power minus Tue when I slept bad I was able to work out every other day. Meaning last Sun, Thur and Sat. Its going great. ZUMBA, short walk and 5 min bike ride. My sleep hasn't been great. Daily starting last Sun I was having issues falling asleep. Glad that ended Fri night. I went to bed too late on Fri & Sat night but I went to sleep right away instead of laying there trying to sleep from 1 to 3 hrs Sun-Thur nights. No thank you! NO idea what causes me to do this but it happens I deal best I can....

5. Yesterday the 8th marked two things. First of all my dog Cocoa's birthday. Had she been alive still she would have turned 25. I always remember her birthday just cause she's in heaven now why not? I miss her sometimes just lightly there back of my mind always on my heart. She died on Dec 5 2001 she was almost 13.5yrs old. And the biggest thing yesterday was its been 15 years since I graduated from high school! I cant believe this. We haven't had a reunion since the 5 year. They almost did a 10 year one but I was in TN at the time and couldn't have made it had they. I think it got cancelled. I haven't heard about it they just aren't about trying for a real one I guess. I wouldn't go anyways. I told myself starting with my 10 if I wasn't married I wouldn't. I am not only not married so no kids, I have no career and I am back home with my parents. Massive failure all around there. I pray by my 20th in 5 years I will have something to show I will flip out of if I don't have all three: marriage, kids, and career. Just FYI for 2018!

Till next weekend and Fathers day...

Weekend 5 (Sunday, June 2nd 2013)

Welcome to JUNE a mix emotion month for me. We had 3 babies now all in heaven who had birthdays this month & now 3 current babies who are all June babies (Maggie was born in July but shes the only one usually our babies are born in June no idea why lol). Also June means Summer! And half way through 2013 a year that hasnt been going well so far...I'm trying to be hopeful for the second half...

1. Its still Spring and even in Summer the tornados are blooming all over again. First of all my heart and prayers are with those affected. I will always be sad I never saw OK before it was hit by all this. Just from the freeway coming and going to TN on our moves we saw it. I was always nervous because it is where they get lots of tornados. KS is another one and so is TX. I think it was worse going through to TN. We got so used to tornados. Scary acts of nature that really just freak people out. They have been around since the world began (theres even a bible verse that talks about them). Ironic in all this is when during our class in high school I chose to do my report on tornados! I had never been in or near one I had lived in CA most of my life. But still I did one. Years later I was near them a lot but still have never seen one in person (some odd thing I want but may never get stop laughing!). Anyways I just hope that this the last of the worst storms although no promises they will go away for a few more months. As we learned in TN tornado season is Feb till Sept and then they can still pop up in the other months if they want. But its usually when the weather is changing so dramatic from Winter to Spring or Summer to Fall!

2.I actually did a REAL workout on Friday. I did a ZUMBA and I have every intention of doing another one after I get off here. I love ZUMBA and missed it. But boy was I in pain on Fri night. And a small walk and 5 min bike ride (the bike ride on a non-moving bike is for my bad knees). I just wish I could figure out how to strengthen my sore ankles which get worse when I work out. I need to asap start something with them. They will be hurting again later I can almost promise that. But I need to work out and I love it so there you go! Havent done a bike ride since last week but hopeful soon as my sister isnt working we can do another one :)

3. Memorial Day was kinda fun. Last year I worked (which I wish I could have this one too oh well). So my uncle came over and we had burgers my dad made. It was a nice day. I didnt do much else with the fam but it was fun. My sister even came home IN TIME to see my uncle (shes managed to work every time he comes and misses him before he leaves). So all in all good day. Memorial day reminds me so much of SWC the end of the Summer thing we did for years through 2007 when we last did it.

4. Went to the Outlet mall again in Carlsbad on Wed. Mostly just to do the Del Taco free food Wed last of the month. All good. Got some coffee, some lunch some free food. It was a fun day. Its nice to get out. I swear if I could afford it I would do it once a week to get out of the house. I get trapped here whenever my sister works all the time and my only chance of leaving is days like this. Saw Fast and the Furious 6. It wasnt a bad film. Sad but happy. And very good. I cant wait for the next one. I hope they stop soon but unsure when. I will keep watching till they do. I think I am a bit like a guy in the sense I watch movies that guys like more than girls and then I go back and watch girl movies too. Its a good thing I am sure but still :) I like 5 better it has good memories. The film was good, and we saw it for FREE at AMC in Phoenix and got free dinner with our movie. Its bittersweet when I think about that one because it was the same week we were packing up to leave a state we loved and didnt have a choice about...

5. Well the 31st this year meant two things for me. It meant my ex-best friends birthday. She ditched me last year on the 16th of May (or sooner) on fb. But we hadnt talked in months. One of those mysteries in life is why things went so wrong between us! Sigh. So the last bday I celebrated in any form with her was her 30th in 2011 just 2 months before she would come out to AZ and judge our way of living and then in our worst moment forced move back home throw a bunch of crap on us and make us both upset especially me. I hope she had a nice day even if shes not my friends anymore in heaven I hope we are friends again. Also it was half off day at LL. Too bad I wasnt working there! I thought for sure 2 weeks before when I was applying that I would be working there. Instead I only got a few things via my sister (2 small sets, 5 key chains & 2 mystery mini figures). Last year I spent around $200 and got a lot of stuff! This year $37. LL continues to not contact me, the jobs I applied for in May got taken down last week so they are gone. I will continue to apply and pray for a change of heart. I am getting hopeless again. I tried for other jobs I thought I could get. Both Lego Stores in our area arent hiring. The one in San Diego is just hiring a supervisor which I dont qualify for. The one in MV closer to OC isnt hiring till Sept for holidays! The new PetsMart near us wont be opening till NOVEMBER even if they did post a sign they are opening soon and I applied on Wed thinking it would be soon. ROSS continues to not post jobs for the new store on their site. Been waiting for them for months now. Unsure where God wants me to work as every door I try is slamned in my face. Hoping June will bring a job or more hope or something good...

Till next weekend man I wrote a lot. Take care!