Weekend 5 for (Sunday, September 29th 2013)

Last one in September where does the time go...

1. I have done workouts this week. I am PROUD to do more than one. I got to do two can you imagine? Monday I did a wiifit which was tons of fun I loved it. I get my workout in about 45 min and a walk and a bike. It was great a time. I was really tired but still did another one on Friday (I skipped Wed for some reason). I did a Zumba and a walk and a bike. It was a good time too. But I skipped Wed and still am cool. I skipped today too which was stupid as I've been awake for hours but didn't get out of bed till time I was going to get up. Unless you count my 1 game of wii sport bowling and it lasted maybe 10 min :)

2. I have been under a lot of stress to be honest. I am trying to find ways to not stress out so much. My body isn't taking it so well. Its doing stuff I don't want to say and others I don't want to freak people out about (including panic attacks which I haven't dealt with in at least 10 years). I am trying to not stress out about things that are happening cause I am stressing out. I think its the lack of jobs and my ue is gone soon again and all kinds of crap. The world is a mess and stuff that is driving me crazy. However B&N still hasn't decided yet to hire me OR not. So I am good there. No other job interviews. Tomorrow I check back on the mall in Temecula its been 2 weeks and nothing from anyone seems odd since most I applied to would be hiring. This coming week we are going to go to a mall I think ours maybe farther away and apply there. And I am going to get serious about looking into temporary work again come Wed if nothing has happened yet with B&N or another place. This cant go on. I have 2 more checks for ue in Oct. Then I can pray it renews. LL continues to ignore me. I even wrote the lady who was part of the bad review last year in Oct and I called her. She has been in the office (I should hope so they start Brick or Treat this coming next weekend and I am sure the training meeting was this past Fri as it was last year) so she is ignoring me. I applied again to a job LL waiting for the email takes about 2 days to tell me no. Unless this lady listened and changed my review for me. So time will tell. Much prayers if no one else takes me they take me back. I need SOMETHING. I am getting near desperate to get a job. Hence my stress one of the biggest sources!

3. As you all know the Health Care thing goes into affect otherwise known as Obamacare on Oct 1st. You have till March 31st to get health care. Here is the issue: I don't have a job, I always file single, I have no money, I cant afford health care and I cant get that tax on me. I think its so beyond lame they will be taxing people because they don't get the stupid health care. Why do they have to tax people? Its mean and its wrong. I don't think they should. Or they should give you more time to get health care then 6months. If you have NO job they shouldn't force it on you. I don't even know if I will get a tax return in the spring. I haven't worked all year and I am worried enough that I will be paying back taxes on my ue that I didn't take out in the first 6 months of it. IF I get anything it will be for that. I am going to look into this free health care thing I heard about two weeks back almost when I had my little scare. I don't use the doctor that much. I don't have kids. I am pretty healthy with rare issues. I would need dental before anything else. I haven't had anything health care like since I lost it when I turned 24 in 2003. I haven't had dental since 2007 and like I said I use that more. I don't think you should force it on people and if they don't charge them. I don't think it should go up. I think its wrong that SO many people don't want this and they are still doing it. When this went through day before Christmas in 2009 I thought our President would be out office and I had hoped it would be gone too. And yet here we are. And the gov might shut down. This happened in the mid 90's when I was a teen and I don't recall it. It would affect a lot things including my ue. I heard its a good chance if you have an extension not regular it will affect you. And if I don't get my ue I am in big trouble. I hate that I have no job and have to rely on the government that may just say good bye to me before I can get even get paid again! Ugh. So I am praying they don't shut it down, I wont have to pay and can get some free health care and this year ends better then it has. More stress for me otherwise!

4. Hard to believe it but Sept 24th marked 5 years since Jackie and Rocky got left with us. We didn't want more cats. We were trying to get gerbils. GERBILS. So close to that I had money set aside we were going to pick them out it sounded fun God had other plans. Our neighbor never came back for them. We could never find a home for them (and we tried Sept-Jan of 2009) but never did. Gave up and kept them. I now cant imagine life without them. They needed us and at the time we didn't know it but now I do know we needed them too. Love you both a lot!!

5. I left this till last as its hard to write about. Today is my Grandma Swank's birthday. She should be 101. I think she would have seen 100 had cancer not stolen her from us too soon. She died so fast we had no idea 2005 would have be her last birthday. You just never know. Love the ones that you love while you can you just never know when their time is up. I love her and miss her so much. I was just crying about this an hour ago when I put her picture up on my instagram & tumblr. Already have them on my fb page. I miss her. I haven't even stopped missing her. We aren't doing a balloon today sadly and I wish we were (unless my mom changes her mind but doubt it). I did write a poem, a letter, cried, put up the picture and in her *HONOR* I broke out my wii spot game and played a game of bowling. Her sport she loved. I have a new idea and I am going to put it together asap. I want to find either a Betty Boop journal OR some stickers and decorate a plain journal. I will be buying her a card every year and putting it there, I will track down all my poems in past about her whether about her birthday, death, etc put them. Write when I want to about her. Stuff like that. I will not forget her birthday. I will tell my kids about her. I will see her grave someday. I know shes not there but still its important. When she died in 2006 my heart broke in ways it had never before I never lost someone I was that close to. And although my mom said 5 years you stop mourning I haven't stopped. And she died 7 years ago. So I don't think I will ever stop being sad about this. I know in heaven I will see her. I know she celebrates with Jesus today. But it doesn't help me much. I miss her so much. I love you Grandma I cant wait to see you again and I hope every day I make you so very proud. :'(

Till next weekend the month of October. So unsure how this really bad year will end. But for now things don't look too promising. Still I am holding onto God is in control and things will work out and this year could still end better then it seems it will. Take care everyone.

Weekend 5 (Sunday, September 22nd 2013)

One last of these next week till October!?!?

1. Well today is two things. Its the first day of Fall. It begins at 3:44pm so its not fall yet but still I say it is cause its today. And I will be napping when it happens! :) So its fall now I cant believe Summer is gone. I know we saw the beach one time for swimming few times other. But no jobs and still here we go. And Sept is nearly done crazy too. Also its the first day of Banned Book week. You'd be shocked at how many books get banned over the years. Lots of books you think wouldn't are including tons of classics. So between 22nd & 28th this week celebrate by reading a banned book. Pick an old favorite or a new one :) I already am reading one and didn't even know it till I saw it online on goodreads. Ha it deserves it I guess ;)

2. Today we are going to church for the second Sunday in a row. Props to us. They sadly got rid of the Saturday night services I still hate this. I hate that they had night services on Sundays changed to Saturdays last year and now they are gone. So we have to force ourselves to go into the crowded morning service. Saturdays worked for us Sundays do not. I love the coffee and goodies before but still. I am missing out on sleep for this. So I love church but hate what they did getting rid of our service!

3. I am a bit stressed out and looking for ways to calm down. My body isn't handling the stress at all. In the past few weeks I have even had two panic attacks small but real enough. No job is really doing me in. I really hate this. My body is hating it too. I need a job and I need one quick. No one is calling me back, I have very few interviews, and my ue will end again next month. Hopeful for something soon by next month even seasonal I will take anything they got!

4. My youngest sister had her birthday on Tuesday. She turned 27 the same age I turned my first birthday in OS in 2006. That's insane. She is handicapped mentally only 2 or 3 but we still love her. My parents skipped their Bible study so we could go to In n Out and then DQ for ice cream and a drive (in the dark no less!). It was a fun night all around. We did sort of celebrate with dad on the 7th for her too so this was like a part 2.

5. Thursday I had a big medical scare for me. A real wake up call to not having medical. I wont say what but it was painful, lasted 3 hrs. And I almost ended up going to a hospital. I did go to a clinic but they couldn't do anything for me and would have to do ER at a hospital. I would have to sign up with this medical thing for those who cant pay and if I get it will take 1 to 2 months to approved. Mean time pay out of pocket and they pay me back. Decided not to it could cost a lot no matter what. Been drinking extra amounts of water all weekend and hoping whatever it was wont come back. Freaky stuff! The clinic btw was a real time bender I went there in 2007 when I threw up blood and my sister insisted and they gave me stuff so my tummy not so upset. So there you go...

Till next weekend, last in September...

Weekend 5 (Sunday, September 15th 2013)

Welcome to the HALF way point of this month. Yup we are now exactly half way through September and I still don't have a job...sorry to complain but its both shocking and annoying for me. And makes me nervous. Okay moving on...

1. Its been 12 years since September 11th and the memory will always be fresh in my mind right there. How I got up for school and my mom told me as the bus driver had told her. How I thought that Washington was our Washington and not DC and I thought a plane was going to crash on us. I listened to the radio as we went into school. Spending US Government watching the news, seeing the towers come crashing down live on tv. Watching people on tv jump from the buildings hoping to live but not. After that continued there was chapel full of crying, worship and prayers. And the rest of the classes cancelled for the day. Going home with the news on, the radio on and just trying to not think too much. Crying a lot. Poems. Wanting to do more. Prayers. Ending with my mission trip the following May for 10 days seeing ground zero, talking to firemen who had lost their brothers, and still crying and praying. I will never forget. What I was doing or how it affected me.

2. I had my interview on Wednesday for Barnes & Noble in Temecula. It was a good interview. And yet its a small world after all I learned when the lady who interviewed me knows a manager I used to work with at my job in Main Place Mall! Too funny he's still with the company like 10 plus years since I last saw him...Was fun getting to know Temecula especially if I get to work there. Not fun was trying to find 2 different kind of 2 atm's all because unemployment decided to not pay people on time again so I was paid on Tuesday night not Monday and I needed my money so I had to only send through some of it the rest taking out of the atm for one bank dropping in the other. So it was a nice long night. I got some job apps I dropped off today at the mall. Had every intention of dropping but ran out of time, energy and stuff. Oh well.

3. I have done workouts this week. HURRAY! NOT today or course. And we lost out on another bike ride yesterday cause the pump my sister got wasn't working correctly. However Monday I did a Zumba and a walk. Then on Friday I did a wiifit and a walk. I was so proud this week doing this. I am going to try to keep up every other time doing wiifit so I wont just do Zumba's. Wiifit whipped my butt on Friday I swear but it was way fun. I always forget you can do a real workout on that thing too!

4. Hard to believe its been 2 years since we moved out here. Crazy stuff. Crazy we did it, and still are here too and haven't moved again. It just is all crazy. I am unsure if it will ever not be even when we move on. So we left late at night on the 12th and came into California on the 13th around 7 or 8am early enough maybe 9 I am unsure. Was a long 6 plus hours coming into California with two check points plus a scary storm in the mountains with lighting that made us call our dad to pray for us because it was freaky. I am glad we were okay but still wish we didn't have to move in the first place life would be so much more different if things had worked out for us to stay in AZ...

5. Went to Art in the Alley today in Redlands. Was interesting seeing all kinds of art. I used to be so into art in high school but never kept it up after. Props to those who do. Only art I do is writing poetry if you call that art. Before we went we visited mall in Temecula again to drop off apps. Between there and Redlands the heat was too much really made me miss Arizona and realize how I am too adapted to California's weather 2 years later. 

Till next weekend! 

Weekend 5 for (Sunday, September 8th 2013)

Today is Grandparents Day and I always get sad when I recall that I don't have any grandparents left :( Today also marks 9 years since we lost our cat Patches. Even if she was my sisters cat she was like both our cat. She is the reason I got her sister Princess. Her loss is why we got Maggie. Trust me her being there and then leaving us too soon affected us all. I have to think one day in heaven we will see all our pets. I look forward most to Patches, Princess and Cocoa. But will be just as happy to see my hamster and if they there the fish and frogs! Pet loss is horrible no matter what...

1. Contacted UE by email on Thursday night. I hope they get back to me soon. I need to this week figure out if I will lose it again after October or mid-October. It will make a HUGE difference when I lose it. I haven't planned past Oct for money in November. Of course everything depends on this. Unless I get a job. I am praying for a miracle. I called LL this week every day but Thur when I ran out of time. That included Monday the holiday. My sister is unsure now if that lady IS back. However to keep it up just incase I will be calling her till I get her I guess every day this coming week too. I also have my interview with B&N on Wed I am looking forward to it and not same time. They really wanted me to come in setting up an interview on any time they could. So there you go. Just praying something happens soon my sanity will go soon even if I continue to get UE...

2. I did workout this week so go me! Just one real day on Thursday. I did a walk on Tuesday but that was it. Thursday was a walk and a wiifit. I haven't done wiifit in 108 days (they tell me last time when its that long). I usually just do zumba if I workout on the wii sorry. But it was nice and tiring. Trust me I broke a sweat and was proud. Not proud of my age (45 really?) I hope this week for a real workout again unsure yet will try tomorrow. We wanted to bike last week but the tires half flat. So my sister bought a pump finally so we can do that. Going to the gas station for air is a true PAIN in the behind not kidding. The air runs out before we done, doing two bikes, trying to figure out if its enough or too much air, etc. So there you go.

3. The 4th to the 7th was recalled by me 6 years later. That was our 2nd trip to TN. We left in the afternoon on the 4th and barely got to TN before 11 and almost missed our car reservation would have been bad. My sister flew through the airport to the car. Our first real day was the 5th. We went to the B&N job fair and then missed the manager. That was the whole reason we came at that time. I talked to her before she left she acted nice like she would work with me about a transfer. A disaster that would have my current manager come to not like me even more. Either way we found our apartment we really wanted. We loved the property and the manager was really nice. The price wasn't bad for a town house, 2 bedrooms, 1.5baths, with stairs! We fell in love without even seeing the apartment. We were put on a list to be contacted if something opened. That was the one place we liked and wanted. And of course we got it in October the following month contacted and moved in November. Also got to spend more time at Opry Mills even saw the Stingray was so much fun feeding them and watching them play in the water. The next year in 2008 was where my sister would eventually get a job at. Coming back was not so much fun. We came back on my dads birthday. We had TWO layovers one in TX and one in AZ. While it was cool seeing the place we would call home in 2010 it wasn't so cool almost missing both planes, my sister losing her backpack on our tram/bus we found it but almost missed that plane, then they lost our luggage cause it flew without us or something else. Got it later that night. We were going to go on the 8th and ride a wave rider and our swimsuits were among the stuff in the suitcases MIA. I hear horror stories about lost luggage it isn't fun having it happen to me. No thank you! But it turned out okay thank God!

4. Went out and about two times this week. On Wednesday my sister took me with her to this orientation to volunteer in Dana Point. We aren't doing it now it scared us too much. But it was a nice wasted two hours to see all that stuff we might never have seen and learn a lot. But we got to be in Dana Point! Although we grew up going there nearly every Sunday which was fun. We got fish tacos and walked around it was truly fun being there. I really missed our family. Its weird when you grow up and then go back to these places you went to a lot as a kid you are enjoying yourself recalling stuff but missing stuff. So I missed them. Sad they closed one of the shops we used to go into in one of the areas. Exhausting but fun day. Then came Friday. We walked on Friday night down the pier to Ruby's. It wasn't fun seeing a guy fishing and had caught a baby sting ray. I still think about seeing it flapping around and him taking pictures of it so proud. I don't think I could ever be with a guy if he likes to fish and eat sea food so much. I mean I eat fish but not that much fish I never have been a fan. So many people fishing. Exhausting walking to the pier and back from the car parked far away. But the food was excellent, the service so good. That's two good places in a row in a small period of time. We have been having bad restaurant experiences so getting 2 in a row could be a good sign (or mean nothing at all LOL). So good eating loved it! Fun time.

5. Yesterday my dad celebrated his 65th birthday. I cant believe he is that old doesn't seem possible. Time flies. Well we had a long but fun day. Got up early. Went down to the Lighthouse in Point Loma. I got to use my phone for pictures and my ipod touch neither I had last year when we went. This was sort of celebrating my sisters birthday early too as we wont be doing this twice in one month. We went to the lighthouse, walked around having fun taking pictures. Saw the shop again more pictures. Beautiful day kind of hot. Went to the tide pools while mom and my sister sat in the car. It was fun looking at the creatures. Getting down there was interesting in sandals oh well. Then we went to Shutter Island for a few minutes not long. Ended by going to Little Italy that me and Mel stopped in after Comic Con in July. We got to eat there not just walk around. Got pizza, pasta and dessert. Then came home for some cake and ice cream. I slept well last night I was exhausted with little sleep.

That's all folks. Already planning out one for next weekend. You never know what will happen!

Weekend 5 for (Sunday, September 1st 2013)

Welcome to September! And I am not so glad you are here but I will deal with that later...

1. Finally made it to church last night. Was SO glad. We spent all of August trying to come but not. Each time I felt guilty and sad we missed out. I need to listen to the postcast or watch the youtubes for those services cause it was supposed to be a neat new series. And yet this was a huge disappointment. Because it is their last Saturday night service. I love our church I think they are great. They aren't Corner Stone which I loved even more in AZ or New Vision Baptist we went to in TN. But they are wonderful. The Pastor has ADD of some sorts so I can follow along as he goes back and fourth sometimes. But when he announced this last night it shocked everyone. Several other people like us cant make Sunday mornings its too difficult. For us for example most times my sister works in the morning. Sadly she had even just made a spot in her schedule so she could keep doing Saturday nights. They used to have a night service on Sundays but changed to Saturdays last year for this teen/kid thing on Sunday nights. Now there are no night services at all no mid-week bible studies. Nothing. We don't want to go back to Calvary Chapel (no offense) and the Baptist church by us dress too fancy. So we are left now hanging on either finding another church, or missing unless she doesn't work and going Sunday mornings. SIGH not happy at all!

2. Two things in the job news front. I have a job interview on the 11th with a Barnes & Noble in Temecula which is about 35 min from our house. Its not as far as the last one. I am unsure if its the same as Del Mar that I ended up cancelling on. They were so persistent wanting me in this week but the spots filled. And they called me twice on Tue and on Wed. I didn't call them back till Sat (yesterday) and they set me up for a few weeks from now. I don't know much about the job. I just hope it wont be like my last job at the one in Mira Mesa that left me crying and freaking out (read blog from two weeks ago for more information). So we shall see. I need to update my job interview blog again for B&N (if you read that blog) for this one and I thought of another B&N too. Other job news is about unemployment and its not good. I figured out yesterday that I am only getting it till October. I am unsure still if its two weeks in Oct or just one like it was in July. So I am freaking out. If I don't have a job and they extend again they might cut more money. I didn't realize back in July they were doing this. I was finally going to start saving in October now I am in big trouble. I will have to rethink that check incase its the end. Its just horrible that I might not have a job yet and it will run out like this. Why cant it just go to the end of the year something has to work out soon. I have been jobless now 9 months and its just driving me crazy. Like 2011 all over again my last time I didn't work for this long...Also LL the lady I talked to back in Feb is back now. They are hiring again and I applied. They are not open tomorrow but Tue I am going to call to see what she thinks about the other lady saying the 6 month thing wasn't real. I will not be asking her to go above her but just her thoughts on it. Its my last chance. I will always apply there but unsure if they will ever decide I am okay to come back. Even if the reasons why are not something I should be punished for!

3. Tuesday was the best time. My cousin Jenny came with us meaning my sister and me to The Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach. It was about an hour drive down there. I haven't been to LB in so long not much of OC actually just here and there over the last two years of living out here. But it was just too much fun. We was there for 4hrs 2-6. Then rode the Harbor Tour for an hour. Which was one of the best times. Some of my favorites from that day include: the harbor tour, touching jelly fish (yes you can touch them!), the sea otter show because sea otters are so cute! and when my cousin tried to pet a small shark well pick him up he flipped in the air. There were plenty of other things...I am still weeding through my phone pictures to post online and send the ipod ones to my email. I took way too much. And had way too much fun! Super cool was as we were leaving and all set to pay $8 for parking the guy told us to go on without paying. So we parked for FREE and had more $$ for dinner. THANK YOU GUY WHOSE NAME I DONT KNOW!! :) Afterwards my sister and me had Red Robin to eat. I haven't eaten at a RR since TN. They had them in AZ but too costly and not that many around we never made it to get there. So we did that in Costa Mesa. Yeah Costa Mesa really getting around the OC area. Then we came home. Sad we missed out on Krispy Kreams wanted to that too but they closed before we could get to them :( Tue was the best!

4. The weather this week has been unbelievable! Most days its partly cloudy which I love. I run outside or if I am outside take lots of pictures I love cloud pictures!! It almost rains but not here. We had a rainbow on Thur so I guess it was raining somewhere but not here. But its hot and muggy and really sticky. Its been that way all week long. Its finally a bit cooler today but still was hot. I got up and it was 86. Last night when I went to bed it was 82 which was nice compared to nearly 88 still when I went to bed the two nights before that. I have been using the fan a lot, and opening all the windows. It hasn't been really too hot this whole Summer. Unlike last year where the hottest it got sometimes was 100 a few times INSIDE the house. The hottest now is 90 which it hit on Friday ironic the day I was going to work out but didn't and dyed my hair in the bathroom with no vents. So I will be glad for fall again I guess. I look forward to it more than ever.

5. Today is the 1st so it marks 2 years exactly since our world was rocked so hard. I cant believe its been 2 years. One minute we thinking we paying half our rent and I going to two job interview/fairs. Next minute we are getting boxes and tape, renting a uhaul an crying as we have to say good bye to our apartment and state in a weeks time. I hate that. I miss AZ. I hate how it ended and I will never know fully why it did. I know for a fact how fast things can change. One minute to the next you just don't see it coming and this was one of those HUGE life changing ones we didn't see at all! Also this week marked 1 years since my last time at LL when I got my bad review because my super visor didn't like me and picked one thing to say I was only fit if I had an interview again. I will forever regret going back in Oct. Even if it wasn't my fault what happened I will always regret doing that...

BONUS BONUS

6. Seeing as I did workout this week I can add it here. I will be working out today like in a few minutes. I also did a walk on Monday. I skipped on Wed cause I was too tired from Tue. I skipped on Fri due to the heat. But I did workout. Yeah go me I am so proud!! I hate not working out even if its tiring I need to do it if I want to lose weight and just get healthy.

Till next weekend with some stuff this week too shouldn't be too boring...