This week ended very sadly. That will be the topic of my first of 5. I am still very upset and this is breaking my heart. Please keep me in prayers. I am unsure how I can go on with her :'(
1. My precious Maltese dog Rainbow Quaker died yesterday October 12th. She had my parents by her side but she did not have me. I didnt say good bye to her. I was not even home! I gave her the medicine she gets and that was the last I ever saw her alive. I went to work. I was 3hrs from getting off when they called me at work. When they called me I just knew. It was her it was Rainbow. She was gone. Mom paid for her to be cremated so they took her away. With promises of a box of her ashes and a little paw print for me to remember her. I love her so much. She was more than a dog she was my child. Dogs love you purely they love you real and she loved me more than any other person on this earth will ever. And now I have no one she is gone. I miss her so much. Never again will she lick my face, squirm in my arms, yell like she always did. I dont know what took her. And for some reason this was Gods plan to have it happen when I was not home. I am only thankful that she was not alone and that I didnt have to decide to have her put to sleep. I think maybe being here would have been worse then not being. Either way I wont question God I wont blame God. God gave me this beautiful gift and now she is back with him. I have to believe in heaven we will see our pets again. Princess Cocoa and now my Rainbow. I will always love you my sweet baby. I will always love you and I will treasure my 17 years with you. I hate you had to suffer. I hate you had to get sick and that is part of why you left me. I hate it. I miss you. I cant believe you are gone!! :'(
2. Work this week same old. Worked my 5 days. I left early when Rainbow died so I lost 3hrs but I will make it up with my PTO. I plan to call out on Monday so I can grieve a bit more. My knee is so bad now I am seeing a doctor Tuesday mom is paying for this. I am unsure if I will need to see a specialist. Not looking forward to this but its just bad my knee it needs to happen. So work is blah. I need a new job. I am over this. But now that I know why I wasn't working tomorrow and this was it right here. God knew I did not. So today I will go to church and then come back home and relax work on my show maybe dye my hair. Oh well!
3. GYM did it once this week. Sadly my knee so bad I only did 2 of our 3 things. And even the relaxing machine to relax us hurt me so bad I had to get off early. Ugh. But yeah still love the gym!!
4. Show #8 went well onto show #9. My air check although I got full credit went okay because my editing skills SUCK! But yeah there you go. Next week begins my fast track class. I also have to sign up for my FASA and pray I get one more year of this but unsure a this point :( if I cant get FASA I will have to decide if I can afford $350 for school on my own which is still cheaper then $400 per month for my two student loans :(
5. Thursday went back to the Bible study. Had fun. I thought it would be hard working on that it was easy. Got a ride home which was nice. SO yeah I am really getting involved with church and its really exhausting me. I mean its great dont get me wrong and they love me so much and its great to be loved by them when I feel little love else wear. But yikes. Introvert help!!I now volunteer once a month and I go to these studies. Who am I?
Well that is all for now. I miss you Rainbow so much still. If you can die from a broken heart, and you can, I could possibly. This could be the end of me. And if it is I dont care anymore. I love life I love Jesus I am not going to kill myself but I will say this: if I die from a broken heart I will be very happy. Till next week.
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