Welcome to WINTER!! Yeah I forgot yesterday it was the first day of Winter crazy stuff. This has been some week very busy. This next week although busy not as much. Hard to believe we are not speeding towards the end of 2019. What a year it has been so much odd so much sad so much all things!
1. Yesterday marked 10 weeks since my dear Rainbow left me. I am still sad every day. I might smile. I might even laugh. I might be okay for an entire day. But I know she is gone and I miss her beyond anything else I have ever missed before. She was my baby. I cant believe I have to celebrate Christmas without her. I look back and cant believe last year was her last Christmas. I had no idea! That is how life is you just dont know how much longer ANYONE has pets and people. We all matter and life is fragile and it is very short no matter what. I miss you Rainbow. I will miss you all my life. I still wonder why I am not gone yet. How long does it take before you die of a broken heart? Its this mix of horrible. I want to go home to heaven. I dont want to be here. But then I know I have people who love me and care about me and then I am like sad for them. In the end I wont be sad in heaven and although anyone left might be sad they wont be sad either when they get there. I just want to be home. No pain no sadness love so much love with God forever. My loved ones and my pets. I have to believe they are there I have to believe I will see them all especially Rainbow again soon till then tears a million shed for you little one. :(
2. Work this week BLAH shorter. Hours cut down still. I am now without blinking working 4 days a week under 30hrs. Its continuing into the new year this isn't going away.I truly need a new job and now more than ever. I cant keep struggling like this. Not having enough for all my bills wondering how I will be okay. I wont be. I need a new job. Doing this they are going to lose many of us and there arent that many of us to begin with. Plus now the store will suffer trying to cover blank spots. For example tonight they had no closer! I can see days where its just one or two scheduled. In reality we need a minimum of 3 each time we work 4 is ideal for a mid person can cover breaks and lunches. This week alone I had to walk away twice almost hitting my 5th hour twice :/
3. GYM didnt do it. You know why? WE ARE SICK AGAIN! Monday we both felt funny by the end of the day we decided to skip it. Then Tuesday being off we both stayed home and just laid around. It was a lot of tv and movies and just chilling trying to feel better unsure if we did. Knowing no more breaks for a while wasn't fun. So me and my sister both still sick. Same too at least we cant blame each other we both sick same time same thing
4. Thursday was my first of two busy days. My mom and me went to get my medicine then looked for birds. Naughty. Got home and I had to work on my cake. Took forever. Got late left late. Restaurant ate at Red Robbin our usual dinner. Had fun there. But got late. Only 1hr at the zoo for the zoo lights. I still had fun. Even saw a show we never saw before. So there was that. Then home again.
5. My real birthday was Friday. Yes I am now 40. The age I dreaded for years to come. You just look back and think how did so much happen and NOT happen in 10 years. So far my eye sight is fine. I had a busy day. We got a bit late so that happened and that is how the whole day went. Went to Dennys for breakfast. Then onto Aquarium of the Pacific I dreamed this up weeks ago when I knew I was getting a bonus. I paid for us each to get into there and we there about 1.5hrs. Then our boat delayed. Our ticket included whale watching. We left at 12:45 not 12 so that got us later for everything else. But it so much fun! We saw so many dolphins and several humph back whales. Awesome!!!!!! 4 years ago we had a disappointing 3 hr trip that got us like 2 whales and we barely saw them far away. NOT THIS TIME! After our whale trip we rushed to see my cousin but got a bit lost and hit traffic missed her. Gave her our stuff to her husband and saw only for the 2nd time our second cousin who is now over 1 years old. He is so adorable!!!! He looks like her so much. Rushed to Medieval Times never been there. Had a nice time there except for the cramped seats and our poor knees :( When done we joked about doing one more thing but ended up just getting my free birthday coffee at Starbucks and heading home. I crashed for 11hrs of sleep. Which I needed. Did nothing on Saturday since I didn't work.
Well that is all for now. One more of these for 2019 that is insanity. I am grateful for my friends from church. They love me and are taking care of me. So much. I dont feel like I deserve their love just like God. I dont know why anyone loves me I just try to accept it. I'm a big mess. 3 of my good friends well 4 sent me a fruit basket on Thursday it came on Friday we not home on Thursday. I love them so much and oddly enough they love me too. See you all soon. I might make some new years resolutions this time I didnt this year maybe I will for next year shall see. till then God bless you all
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