Welcome to the second one of these for August. Yikes times flying. This week again nothing too special. This will be my first *gulp* back to 5 days of work in 1 week in weeks!! Been living on 4 days a week (my choice) the past 3 weeks before this. Yuck. But moving on...
1. Work is busy and such. We now back to suggesting people wear masks although that could change to having to wear mask. They ordered more mask and popped us into our black shirts as health ambassadors again. Just say there wont be counting. I hate telling people to wear mask but its worse counting. My poor neck. Anyways so I am okay with doing that just greeting people and offering a mask is easier then receipts. I like change I am almost ALWAYS checking receipts. Its so tiring my poor eyes lol. No one else wants to do it so it seems whenever I am there that is where I am at....moving on. I only worked 4 days this past week. I got Friday off because I thought my parents were gonna do an overnight thing for their anniversary on Thursday. But due to my dads pains they did canceled so I used it for therapy instead and enjoyed one more day of freedom. Lighten my load a bit for my 4 in a row turned into a 3 yup
2. Gym did it ONCE what the heck. Yeah haven't only done it once in beyond forever we been doing it at least twice a week. But things like work and such kinda took that. So that is what we did. I did manage a walk three times this week Tuesday, Thursday & Friday. Both Tuesday & Thursday were in the morning while Friday the evening. I love my walks with Jesus. But I do sometimes miss when my walks were with my baby Rainbow :(
3. Church was beautiful on Sunday. Lots of hugs and love. And laughing as my pastor used me as an example as someone with anxiety. No he didnt say my name but those who knows my *story* and such surely knew it was me. He confirmed it after thanks a lot lol. I love him so its okay. I had social anxiety when I first began church here I spent over a year not talking to anyone and even after I met with my pastor and his wife for lunch I didnt talk to many till after the second meal 6 months later. So thats about 1.5 years of me not talking with much of anyone at church. I still have social anxiety and if you see me at church I dont talk to everyone I dont know everyone. I am willing to meet new people but I dont just go out and meet them. I am still horrible at making friends and keeping friends. So the ones God has graced me with are a huge blessing in the fact they are sticking by me even when I am a bit off sometimes. Love you church and all! I miss my mid week bible studies but hopefully fall ones begin again soon :)
4. I did neck therapy twice this week. I have just two more times left. Yup. I do get back to shoulder therapy next week PTL I have not done it in a month and its been so bad some days that I realize I will probably be in shoulder therapy a lot longer then I thought. Yikes. Ugh. I also got approved shocking for another injections for my neck. I am unsure the date on that will work that out when they call me back or I check back next week. I also managed to take my new hobby and a kinda therapy of another time to my friends house. I love her so much. I paint rocks for her neighborhood and I wanted to give these to her last week. We took a chance on Tuesday she would be home as she said she might not be cause we came a bit later. And she was. Hugs love and gave her the rocks I had worked so hard on. I some days feel like I have no purpose in this world but to encourage people and these rocks with my creative gift from God for art really do make me feel like theres a reason I am on this earth.
5. My mental health has always be a forerunner for me. Its there when I dont want it to be and always. In the past two years I can only guess why my mental health has become out of control. I can only guess what is wrong with me. But grief in losing Rainbow almost 2 years ago, followed by covid19 last year and all that went with it and then my 2 injuries. I think its all a big mush pile of problems. Its come crashing down on me with my relationships at church especially with my friend I just talked about 3 times with her. I get emotional constantly I cant control my emotions, I am crying now every single day sometimes good sometimes bad, I have bad thoughts, I have self doubt and for sure self hate, overwhelmed by absolutely everything, anxiety, depression, OCD and ADD, and so much more. So I am with the encouragement of my friends love and support and prayers seeking professional help. This coming week on Friday on the phone I will be talking to a doctor to get a referral to see a psychologist. I want to find out whats wrong with me because I am sure its way more than just depression and anxiety. I have my thoughts on this and I know we arent supposed to self diagnose especially on something else bad enough I did it for ADD which isn't as serious but yes I know I have it without being told so. So I will update you all when I have my date for my actual appointment. God willing it will be soon and this month. I get to fit that around everything else. If you pray I ask you do because I am scared to death to do this and I am not even telling my family yet what is going on just some close friends.
God bless you all. Have a good week. Stay cool. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment