Welcome to June!! I had a busy week last week so there you go. May is gone. Wow we half way through the year that is crazy stuff Summer is almost here!!
1. Oh June. June used to be a happy month for me. I loved it. My dog was born on June 8, 1988 but she died December 5, 2001. Rainbow I miss the most was born on June 23, 2002 and died October 12, 2019. This year I have again taken off work and made plans for the 23rd I can never work on her birthday or death day (October falls on a Thursday so I am good on that one!). Patches & Princess were both born sisters on June 28, 1992. Patches died September 6, 2004. Princess died January 6, 2010. And our final pets Rocky & Jackie born June 26, 2008. We lost Rocky in 2021 and we still have Jackie our last baby. She will celebrate 16 years this month. We are taking her to the vet on Thursday she seems mostly healthy and we praying she lives many more years even if she is all we got. She's still more healthy then her brother was we miss all our furry children MOST born in June (by Maggie she was born in mid July 2004).
2. End of May marked Memorial Day. It also marked my ex best friends birthday. I cant help thinking about her. We stopped being friends in 2012 shortly after we got forced to move back to California. I loved my friend and I never told her cause back then I didnt say I love you to anyone much especially not friends. I say it all the time now but that took a while to be okay with. Anyways. I am sad still at times I think about our friendship. I thought it was forever we had been friends since 1998. It was a huge lesson learned for me that friendship is fleeting. She also told me I was bitter in 2016 when I talked to her again saying I missed her. That was the last time we really talked. I was bitter and asked God for forgiveness for her and many others. It was the opening God used for me to come back the following year. Bitterness is horrible and I refuse to let it ever rule me again. Anyways happy birthday Deborah.
3. Work busy as always. I hate being short handed. I hated Saturday most as my good friend co worker called out and I cant ask her why. I believe she was there today and I should see her tomorrow. It made me sad and I kinda got really upset and had to take 2 pills. This coming from thinking I was doing better. Ugh Ugh. I am still thank God clocking in every day on time off on time and making my 40hrs. This coming check I begin to save for vacation I am so excited for that coming up in a few months :)
4. Church is gorgeous and wonderful. I love going to church. I love the hugs and the love and all the things that help me get by. Talking to my friends after too awesome. I took a long nap and a walk and not much else. My energy gets spent at work and then when Sunday comes I am just exhausted. Sigh
5. So I talked to my psychiatrist on Wednesday she is now changing my depokate dose to twice a day 500 from 250. So now I am taking it in the mornings and its making me so tired. I can switch to doing both at night. Its to help me deal with my anxiety I still have it and also so I wont take my other medicine as much. And yet Saturday I had to take 2 still anyways.... Thursday my therapist we haven't talked in 3 weeks. I had to talk about Michael, my co worker almost leaving and one more thing. She pointed out I have attachment issues that I attach myself to people and literally need to them to live. So I have done that with my co worker for now and that is why its so hard when she almost left me. :( my childhood trauma continues to haunt me so much. I am a mess.
See you next week. Less this week so there is that. God bless you :) See you next weekend!!
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