Ontime today to the whole thing! Good job! Go Me! Pat self on back. This week hasn't been kind. But here we go...
1. Work this week was OKAY. I somehow made it through my whole 4 day last weekend and half of it was in pain. I was in pain last Sunday and last Monday. Monday being the worse of the two. Lots of prayers and medicine. And I got by. I just try to avoid the front of the store. But I have to be up there sometime which is what sucks. I was off on Friday a bonus day (more below). I only worked 4 days this week. I need a new job I still do! I cant afford to not work while doing this. But working is killing me. I am grateful in two weeks (not this coming week which began yesterday) I will be on 4 days a week. I can make it work. I just cant make not working work or being paid to not work which isn't that great.
2. Church was awesome last week on the 5th! I loved the service. I love my sister coming still. I loved so much love and support from my friends especially in my time of need (meaning now). I love my church. I am still grateful every Sunday we are in person being online for 3 months was nearly torture for me. Idk what I will do if we ever have to go back to that for even one Sunday :( I did skip ZOOM as I was in pain (more below) too much. Sorry guys! I will be back this week I promise.
3. Workouts since I am still injured I shouldn't even be doing a bike ride but I did a small one. I got off work late on Monday as I will this coming week I in now. So we only rode a bit. I was in pain all day so I took medicine and toughed it out. And did I regret it just a bit. I was still very much in pain even just riding a little bit. Ugh. Pain. But I do love to ride.
4. Friday was my day off I was supposed to be off for my sister camping so she couldn't pick me up from work. But she had to put that on next week (and guess who is working that one). So we planned either Safari Park OR Coronado Island. We picked Coronado. Got a late start. Not used to all this fun with COVID19. We got there late and due to this virus Which Wich our fav sandwich shop we visit after we do the beach closes at 6PM it was like 4 when I found this out. So we basically got 45min in the water and then had to book it there. But it was a fun time. Two things. Dolphins showed up very close to shore I LOVE DOLPHINS STILL! God knows how to make me smile. They got so close then off they went. The second thing is 3 seagulls had a bag of empty Doritos they stole and my sister got it from them in the ocean. She got farther and farther off but for their safety got it away. Go to her! LOL! After we went to get our food and got coffee too. Then ate some outside. Walked around the hotel and came home. Fun trip a bit shorter and MAYBE go back next month shall see. I am so over the virus. Oh and my face mask broke while I at the beach so I had to tie one end to my mask my ear the glasses to go get food after and then the store :/
5. I left my pain issue till last I wish I could just leave my pain behind me. I dont get why I am going through this. I'm sorry! I know we all get trials but I feel like this whole year is one big trial. Why this. Why am I hurt at this job now why. I have no idea what is going on. I feel like they think I'm faking this whole thing. It began 3 weeks ago. But because I never said anything in May when it began this whole issue came up. Like I knew a few days of pain in my neck here and there would turn into this. A strained muscle and a pinched nerve. I am still unsure on the second one. I'm unsure how much I want to write online. Just know this: I am fighting so hard for this. For help. For a job that broke me. For a job I was unsure I wanted to keep and now I feel like I'm stuck at. God why?? This pain makes me feel so alone. I just feel broken literally. I already had pains mind you. I have PCOS I have diabetes. 3 years go I was dealing with the PCOS and pains with it. I still am unsure what all the pains were. I had others too. I was taken into a trial when I first came back. Now I feel like why now. I have lost so much this year. And I hold so tight to these things. God keeps telling me let go. Let go of my radio class and now I am a bit more peaceful. Saturday He nudged me again to let go of this issue. I was holding too tight. Now still peace but still I worry. I am like a kid with a broken toy. God you are taking too long why. Why wont He just heal me. I'm sorry. I feel selfish. Others are suffering dying this virus anything. And I'm upset about my pain. I guess making it valid while feeling like its not. Its this between for pain I will never fully grasp while using it. We all have pain. We all do. Some more than others. Its okay to feel that pain! I need to give myself permission to have pain and deal with it. Why cant I just do that. Its okay I have this new pain. It could be temporary but deep within I feel like as I dont get help it will get worse and worse. I'm not young I'm not old. And I am not making this up. I dont complain about any injury at work. I have had injuries slight here and there. My last real one was babies r us when I hurt my shoulder in like 2016 I think ? I never told them. I actually hurt myself picking up a heavy box and pulled my shoulder out of place and did something. I fixed it I got a sling online I got it done. I wasn't praying back then but I believe God still works even when we dont pray. And it got better! Sure it took a few weeks. I never said a word. I suffered I got better. But this is too much for me. :( Okay I am gonna stop now I dont usually write so much on this and its long. Sorry!
Okay week. Ended bad. Have a good one next week! God bless you!
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